The Earth Is a Nursery

07/02/2013 Comments (85)

Last weekend, I went to Boston to meet with some college friends.  I realized, to my shock, that it had been nearly twenty years since we first met each other.  We go for months at a time without doing more than liking each other's baby snapshots on Facebook, but whenever we do meet, we just pick up where we left off.  The only difference was that, when we first started meeting in Boston as new college graduates, we went bar hopping.  This time, we met for lunch at a sit-down restaurant, and one of my friends asked the waitress if she could turn the music down.  Nobody had more than one drink, because we had to drive home; and we talked less about concerts and guys and weddings, and more...READ MORE

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Raisinet?

06/28/2013 Comments (24)

Happy birthday to Mel Brooks!  I can't find documentation of it anywhere, but I have heard that when someone was fussing at Mel Brooks, maybe making demands that he would cut offensive scenes, or maybe asking him to explain himself, Brooks would just gaze blandly at him, pause for a moment while the words hung in the air, and then offer, " . . . Raisinet?" 

Sometimes, there's not really much else you can do.  This week has been rough.  After much thought about what I could possibly say at the end of a week like this, all I can offer you is, ". . . Raisinet?"

First off, something from the Master, Mel Brooks himself.  It was pretty hard choosing just one scene.  High Anxiety, Blazing...READ MORE

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Can We Save Infidelity?

06/26/2013 Comments (69)

As I write, the nation is waiting to see what the Supreme Court will say about gay marriage. The debates I've heard have centered mainly around whether or not gay people should be allowed to marry so that they can have the things that heterosexual couples take for granted.

The question is, do they actually want what heterosexual couples take for granted?

I just read an extraordinarily candid article by a gay man who promotes gay marriage.  He's been in what he considers a committed relationship with another man for six years.  They've had, he says, "varying understandings about monogamy at different times in [their] relationship."  It is, he says, a well-known secret in the gay...READ MORE

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Why Marriages Explode

06/25/2013 Comments (51)

Here's a happy thought:  caskets sometimes explode. The phenomenon is well-known enough to have a name: "exploding casket syndrome." It happens because bereaved people want the caskets of their beloved dead to be sealed up as tightly as possible against the insults of time, moisture, oxygen, vermin, and change in general.  They want the dead body preserved, and they want it to stay preserved, even once it's permanently out of sight.

The only problem is, death is death.  Bodies still decompose no matter what you do to them or where you put them, and decomposing bodies release gas.  So if the process of decomposition happens in a tightly sealed space, it's like trying to pump more air...READ MORE

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The Happiest Voice

06/21/2013 Comments (30)

We had a nice musical feast last week, with plenty of tearwater tea on the side, as we shared our favorite saddest voices. For the first day of summer, how about the sunniest voices? Who has a voice that just exudes warmth, joy or contentment, no matter what they're singing about? Here are my nominations:

Ladysmith Black Mambazo led by Joseph Shabalala. Most people first met this group when they collaborated with Paul Simon for Graceland. Listening to them always recalibrates my heart a little bit.  Here is "Rain, Rain, Beautiful Rain."

 

 

 

 

 

Rotate the globe north (actually they were an American group, but sang mostly songs of Eastern Europe), and we have the...READ MORE

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How to Semi-Unplug

06/18/2013 Comments (54)

Last month, a Pew study showed that teens consider Facebook and other social media outlets more of a "social burden" then a pleasant and interesting way to spend time. One girl said, “Honestly, Facebook at this point, I'm on it constantly but I hate it so much."  The kids in the focus group gave several reasons for migrating away from Facebook and Twitter:  too much pressure to appear cooler or more wholesome than they actually are; too much drama; too much work.  I think there must also be some of what the senior tempter Screwtape describes when teaching Wormwood how to bring a man to Hell:

You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his...READ MORE

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The Saddest Voice

06/14/2013 Comments (70)

It turns out my kids like The Traveling Wilburys, which is okay with me.  They think they sound like The Wiggles, which makes me feel bad for The Traveling Wilburys and for The Wiggles.  In fact, the two bands are more of less the opposite of each other:  The Traveling Wilburys was made up of guys who were already rock stars, and just decided to goof around and have some fun.  The Wiggles always expected to be actual rock stars, but instead ended up being charming and harmless for the soggy bottom crowd.  Both bands ended up writing fairly light and carefree stuff, because, in both cases, who cares?  But I'm fairly sure that, if you look deep into Murray's eyes, you'll see deep wells of...READ MORE

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Ruin It Yourself

06/13/2013 Comments (43)

Recently, I turned down a request to review a book of full of crafts and projects you can do at home with your kids.  The reason I gave was that I was just too busy, but the real reason is that I’m just too smart.  I’ve learned, after a trial-and-error experiment that’s lasted nearly thirty years, that I’m good at making one thing and only one thing:  babies.  I do keep on trying to be crafty, and sometimes I don’t even make my family suffer too much while I’m trying, but even my highly biased eyes can see that the end result is usually a wad of gluey junk.  This is true whether or not I have been using glue.

That being said, even I have gotten to the point where I can spot a sure-fire...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.