Sexual Violence Is Violence, Regardless of Consent

Sexual violence doesn’t cease being a moral evil simply because the perpetrator and the victim agree to the brutality.

(photo: Register Files)

The following headline flashed across my screen recently: “EL James to publish Fifty Shades sequel telling story from hero’s point of view.” The opening sentence read: “Christian Grey, the enigmatic, dominating protagonist of EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, is about to tell the world his own story, from how he became a successful entrepreneur by the age of 27 to why he has a ‘Red Room of Pain’ on hand for his lover.”

Hero? Enigmatic? Protagonist? Lover?

This from The Guardian, not People Magazine or US Weekly. And the article is describing a literary character who manipulates an insecure woman into becoming his sexual plaything in his twisted world of sexual deviancy.

Arguably more alarming than the book and corresponding film series about torture sex has been the societal reaction. For starters, there seems to be insatiable demand for the modern-day bodice rippers, dubbed “mommy porn,” which surprised critics when they began flying off the shelves.

The inaugural book of the series, Fifty Shades of Grey, ranks among the bestselling books of all time. It falls into place, ironically, one spot behind the 19th-century classic She: A History of Adventure, a story about men who discover a land in Africa where a woman reigns. And it sits with other gems like Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities and Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s Le Petit Prince. It’s rather embarrassing that this is our century’s ambassador to literature’s bestseller list.

When Hollywood got involved, things went from bad to worse. They picked Valentine’s Day to release the first movie. And the theaters were packed. The movie broke all sorts of records and was one of the biggest-grossing R-rated releases ever. As one reviewer put it, “It went from being a girls’ night-out movie and became a date-night movie.” Because nothing says romance like whips and chains! The movie broke a record previously held by Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, also released in the month February — for the beginning of Lent.

Instead of rending their garments with rage, feminists were largely silent. And perhaps most curious of all was the way so many rushed to defend BDSM (short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) and argue that the movie adaption of Fifty Shades supposedly got BDSM wrong. In a piece for The Atlantic, “Consent Isn’t Enough: The Troubling Sex of Fifty Shades,” Emma Green interviews several practitioners of BDSM who didn’t like the way it’s portrayed in the books and movie. In Fifty Shades, she writes, “BDSM is actually presented as a pathology, not a path to pleasure.” “Fifty Shades,” she continues, “eroticizes sexual violence, but without any of the emotional maturity and communication required to make it safe.” Sexual violence can be safe?

Plenty of other bizarre and troubling defenses of sexual violence emerged in the wake of the movie’s release. In an endorsement of BDSM for Marie Claire magazine entitled “The Joy of Submission,” one woman wrote a confusing piece about her own path from marriage to an open marriage, and then to violent sex with an abusive married man who preyed on her emotional insecurities. Or as the magazine subtitled it, “One ambitious, assertive woman describes how she became submissive — and why it’s not as fringe as you might think.” Cosmopolitan magazine ran a “lighthearted” piece, “I Tried All the Sex From 50 Shades of Grey in 1 Weekend,” subtitled, “I’m still alive, but just barely.”

Simply researching this topic pulls up an alarming ad bar offering things like “50% Off BDSM Clearance,” “Custom BDSM Furniture” or, my personal favorite, a “BDSM Dating Club.” Some may brush off the Fifty Shades phenomenon as an erotic pastime of some bored, middle-aged women — but it’s not. It’s a part of an industry that’s slowly helping to mainstream sexual violence at a time when sexual violence is already a problem everywhere, from college campuses in the Heartland of America to the streets of India.

Sexual violence isn’t something that should ever be portrayed as pleasant, empowering or morally neutral.

Recently, Pope Francis spoke out on the topic of female mutilation and domestic violence against women, saying, “Although it is a symbol of life, the female body is unfortunately not rarely attacked and disfigured, even by those who should be its protector and life companion.” Sexual practices like BDSM, while often branded as “lifestyle choices,” as opposed to domestic violence, only facilitate a culture where evil against women pervades. And books and films that glamorize and romanticize such violence only further enable this evil.

Another Fifty Shades book is not something to celebrate. The world needs less sexual violence, not more.