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No Country For Old Gay Men

The real health crisis Bloomberg ignores.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012 10:31 PM Comments (24)

Nanny Bloomberg is the opposite of Nanny McPhee, he gets uglier with every problem he tries to fix for his 8 million ill-behaved charges.

There is no problem so small for which Nanny Bloomberg doesn't have a draconian fix at the ready.

Salt. Can cause hypertension if abused. Solution: Banned.

17 oz Soft Drinks. Too much sugar says he. Banned!

With those little problems Nanny Bloomberg has a solution. If you have a bad habit that might have the slightest impact on your health, no matter how tangential, no matter how remotely possible, no matter how ambiguous the causation, the Nanny has no choice but to swoop in and abscond with your liberty. Tyranny for your own good, of course, is still tyranny.

But The Nanny demurs calling it a minor "inconvenience" to reverse a national health catastrophe. If lifestyle choices harm you, you must be encouraged, even coerced to stop.

But here is the curious thing. What if I told you that there is clear evidence that a particular behavior has been shown in multiple studies to very seriously impact health. Indeed, for those who engage in this behavior life expectancy can be reduced from anywhere from 5 to 20 years. Along with that dramatic reduction in life expectancy come hosts of other health problems that can put a serious drain on "the system."

So naturally, The Nanny can not allow such a destructive lifestyle choice to cost so much in life and death. The Nanny must step in and do something, right?

Wrong.

See, it is not really about making bad lifestyle choices that forces the Nanny to swoop. No, I mean how bad is a 17oz soda every once in a while that it requires banning? Certainly 17 oz soft drinks have not been show to reduce your life expectancy by 20 years. So it is not about making bad lifestyle choices, it is about making unpopular ones.

Sugar. Not popular among liberal elites (except of course during campaign events when the elites try to identify with you, the obese voting rabble.)

Homosexuality. Very popular among liberal elites. The fact that men engaging in that lifestyle are killing themselves, that is a choice we must respect. Not just respect, but celebrate and promote.

Big Gulps, no respect. Banned.

Sodomicide? We have parades.

Since I am not the banning type, I think it only fair that we have a big parade celebrating the alternative lifestyle of Big Gulp drinkers. After that, maybe The Nanny can leave us all alone to die in peace.

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About Pat Archbold

Pat Archbold
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Patrick Archbold is co-founder of Creative Minority Report, a Catholic website that puts a refreshing spin on the intersection of religion, culture, and politics. When not writing, Patrick is director of information technology at a large international logistics company. Patrick, his wife Terri, and their five children reside in Long Island, N.Y.