At my parish they have renamed the narthex of the church as the “fellowship hall”. This novus nomenclature is intended to encourage parishioners, when leaving after mass, to engage each other on a personal level (e.g., smiling, hugging, and conversing) in some place other than the nave of the church. I think this is a very good idea as we all know how important fellowship is to the Christian experience.
I go out the side door.
The parish I grew up in was a keep-your-head-facing-forward and mind-your-own-business kind of place and that suited me just fine. We shared the same faith and for one hour on Sundays, we shared the same air; that was enough. These days, however, I am surrounded by people who want to talk to me, touch me, and engage me on a personal level. This is not the Catholicism I signed up for.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I miss the swine flu. Of course I don’t want anyone to be ill—I had the swine flu after all—but I sure preferred it when people were afraid of getting ill. For a few months the Church of my youth was back. I was able to keep my distance from my fellow Christians without fear that they would immediately and rightly conclude that I am anti-social. This glorious era of swine flu had its most wonderful effect during the dreaded and woefully misnamed “sign of peace.”
Typically during weekday masses I have to employ the three pew rule. This rule states that when possible, I must maintain a minimum three empty-pew buffer zone between me and the nearest other mass-goer. An addendum to the rule states that if another mass-goer looks overly friendly (e.g., eye contact, excessive smiling, etc.), a four pew distance should be maintained. With the proper distance attained, the sign of peace requires only a quick wave. The others think “Oh he seems friendly and I am sure that he would shake my hand or even hug me if he wasn’t so far away.”
But when fear of the swine flu was everywhere I could shorten that distance to two pews, and even on a few occasions only one pew, and people understood when I chose to only give the wave. They likely thought, “Oh that was a polite and friendly wave. His reticence to shake hands is very prudent given the risk of disease, so not only is he friendly and handsome, but wise as well.”
Okay, I just threw in the handsome part, but you get my drift. Swine flu allowed me to fellowship in my own anti-social and non-fellowshippy way. But now that the fear of the flu is gone, I am forced back into exile.
Now before anyone points out that the “sign of peace” is an ancient Christian practice and is not simply the invention of that generation of huggers who dominated the seventies, I answer “fine”. I will stipulate to the fact that the “sign of peace” is an ancient Christian practice. Fine. Good. Getting eaten by lions was an ancient Christian practice too and I don’t want to do that either.
So I guess the way I formulate my position is that while personally I accept my Church’s teaching on the sign of peace, that should not impact how I choose to live my life. I have the right to choose…
Oh nuts!
I guess I will be shaking hands and coming and going through the front door from now on. One quick question though. Is it considered bad form in the fellowship world to wear latex gloves? No reason, I am just asking.
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You might be happy to know that the sign of peace is purely optional on the part of the priest—it is not at all a mandated part of the Mass. Our parish omitted it during the flu season, and many would be very happy, honestly, if we “forgot” to re-include it again. (And btw, going to the Latin Mass lets you sidestep this part altogether.)
The sign of peace is not so bad for me if it is kept from being excessive. I think it should be a handshake and a polite smile to those in your immediate surroundings. As the pope says, it should not distract from the Mass. All in all it is not as bad as the Protestant inspired hand-holding during the Our Father.
I was giggling through this whole post because it’s exactly how I was thinking as for the past few weeks I’ve noticed more and more people looking at me oddly when I bow/wave at them for the peace.
“...rightly conclude that I am anti-social.” We’re not anti-social…all those people have undiagnosed hyper-social tendencies.
You have to see Tim Hawkins take on holding hands :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcmF-7vtiW4
I am on board with a “wave of peace” or even better “the nod of peace.”
I have a cousin who is a Jesuit who likes to do the “kiss of peace.” There I draw the line.
I honestly wish they’d just do away with the sign of peace altogether. Every Mass left me stressed over whether folks would be offended if I didn’t offer them a hand. If I wasn’t worried about that I was worried people would be offended if I did offer my hand as one of our kids coughed,sniffled, or sneezed throughout the Mass.
The corporate sign of peace isn’t optional, at least not at any of the OF masses I’ve been to. Never been to an EF so I couldn’t speak to those. The exchange of the sign between members of the congregation, however, is optional, at least according to the GIRM of the archdiocese I’m in.
I find that helping one of the children blow his nose is an effective deterrent. It usually takes long enough, and if not, nobody wants to shake your hand after you’ve handled your kid’s snot.
I was doing the ‘withhold handshake point at nose’ move,I felt guilty the first time a guy did the sign of the cross for my fake head cold,so now I just shake and bring antibacterial wipes to mass.
The diocese where I was raised added an innovation(sometime after I escaped, so it’s since 1984). Just before Mass begins, everyone is asked to greet their neighbors and welcome each other. Any hope of prayer/readiness to begin Mass is out the window. There’s almost no way to avoid this invasion, and I’m convinced it was instituted so that no one is paying attention to Christ when the liturgy starts.
I have never been a fan of the “sign of peace” in the Novus Ordo. I find it to be a contest for some folks to see how many people they can shake hands with or give hugs to. others are attempting a Guinness World Record for the greatest stretch across the most pews
It interrupts the Mass.
Thankfully this ‘innovation’ is missing from the EF Mass.
@Christina - thanks for the video link that was great!
I was sitting on an aisle, seeking to avoid holding anybody’s hand but my spouse’s, when people started bridging the aisle with their hand-holding, like African fire ants fording a stream. I was horrified. The usher saw that I was not properly turning to meet and cosy with the stranger across the aisle, and he came and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the pew to hold his hand and jettison our row into the aisle to make contact with the chain stepping out of the other pew. Then in a truly glorious moment of triumph, he held his captive’s hands high, so high he practically had his head in my armpit.
Now I go the the Latin Mass, where I run less of a chance of being pried bodily from my pew and assaulted.
I have “skipped” the communal Sign of Peace a few times (never to make a statement, just in interest of health or time). Every time, the congregation begins shaking away during the Lamb of God and are somewhat hasty in paying attention when I said the “Happy are those who are called to His supper…” I don’t think they’re passive-aggressive. I imagine they probably think Father is senile, and a few will be nice after Mass and “remind” me that I “forgot.”
For me, the “glare of peace” usually works…especially with my kids.
Last night at Ash Wednesday Mass, a fellow next to me spends most of the Mass blowing his nose, inspecting his hankie, snorting, etc. He’s on one end and I’m on the other…uh, here comes the sign of peace. I have my Father Lachance Missal of which I’m reading during the clatterour exchange. He comes down the aisle and ulp…presents me with his “petri dish” fresh from a bout of nose-picking…yikes.
And people still want to receive our Lord in their hands? After all of this?
The scars from boiling my hand will remain a long time…
One usher at our parish had the habit of flashing the peace sign and waving as he walked down the aisle. it almost seemed as if he belonged on a parade float. even now though father has removed the (optional) sign of peace from his masses the usher still does it. perhaps i should chalk it up to senility on the usher’s part.
There was an usher at a Church in New York who I saw actually walk right up onto the altar to shake the priest’s hand and then he waved to the altar girls. And this was treated as pretty normal.
I see a conspiracy within the Catholic Church not unlike the liberal conspiracy within the news media and schools to marginalize religion. Since the peace sign was instituted, I have lost all spirituality while attending Mass as my only thought is that I hope the person sneezing in front of me doesn’t extend his hand to me with a big smile and bigger germs. In my younger years going to Mass was a personal experience with God – now it is supposed to b e a community experience – WHY? – every public experience of our lives is a community experience – why can’t we spend an hour communicating with God and not spending the entire time thinking about who is sneezing or coughing around us. Do you suppose there are elements within the church trying to destroy it????
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