The culturally corrosive effects of political correctness manifest themselves in many ways. Perhaps one of the more deleterious effects of this social tyranny is self-imposed silence when it comes to the truth. Many know the truth but seek to avoid confrontation in a world that abhors enlightening argument. Rather, certain opinions are deemed offensive by those who are the designated deemers of such things. End of story.
Most of us have learned to shrug off such things, we cannot single-handedly change our culture and there is life to be lived, so we move on. But the time for shrugging may be over. When political correctness does not just demand silence for the truth, but the active promotion of heresy, this is something no Christian should abide. This is never more true than for those who are charged with preaching God’s truth.
Reverend Frank Wainwright, 48, a Deacon at St Gregory’s Church in Cheltenham, Glos. UK, during a sermon on marriage, made the remark in a humorous aside that “Marriage is between Adam and Eve - not Adam and Steve.” For this the Deacon has been accused of ‘homophobia’ after five complaints by members of the congregation.
The protesting parishioners now demand heretical correctness. It seems that in our world of ever expanding ‘basic human rights’, paramount among them is the right never to be offended by the truth. While it’s one thing to expect this when asked by your wife if she looks heavy in her new dress, it is quite another to demand heresy from your church.
This is the thing about the Catholic Church, you don’t have to be a member. If it is heresy you want, there is another church right down the street that has plenty of it for the asking and wonderfully colorful vestments for Father Patricia as well. You have your choice. The heretically correct Church of the Androgynous Savior or the Catholic Church. But know, if you choose the Catholic Church, you reject your ‘basic human right’ never to be offended by the truth at the door.
Deacon Wainwright, for his part, sorta sticks by the truth if not the way he said it.
I have plenty of gay friends and I have no problem at all with them but as a Catholic minister I must preach that marriage is between a man and woman and nothing else.
I’m sure there are gay members of my congregation and I imagine it’s one of them who complained but it certainly wasn’t the thrust of my sermon.
I can see why people are upset by the comment because it was flippant. I totally accept that I have caused offence and I am apologising for that.
Don’t ever apologize for the truth.
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I don’t think he apologized for the truth; he apologized for the flippent comment. Yes we should proclaim the truth but should we do it in a way that has a chance to be accepted or in a nah nah nah nah nah teasing kind of way that’s bound of just offend anyone who hears it?
We can sacrifice political correctness to speak the truth; but should we sacrifice basic tact?
Dan,
I don’t know about you but “I have plenty of gay friends and I have no problem at all with them but…” is text book equivocation.
Tact yes. Equivocation no.
Why should he have no problem with gay friends? Should I have no problem with friends who use drugs, or get drunk, or are irresponsible with their money, or cheat on their spouses? Why is it necessary that we bend over backwards to not “offend” someone whose lifestyle is offensive to God? And why in the world do people get offended by hearing the truth of Catholic teaching in a Catholic Church?
One can have friends who do any of a myriad of sinful things while still disagreeing (i.e., have a problem) with their choices. After all, we sin as well. This doesn’t mean one doesn’t love those friends.
I think the Deacon wimped out, although it’s possible he was required to apologize.
Let’s be clear, while I think the Deacon equivocated a bit, my real issue is with those parishioners who complain about hearing the truth. You know where the door is.
Theologically speaking, one is obliged to apologize if he conveys the truth in an imprudent manner (ie the reckless spreading of the secret sins of another, hence ruining his reputation. Though he may be 100% factually correct, he’d still be guilty of sin). I disagree with his apologizing for “causing offense”, though. Pope Benedict XVI’s apologizing that “Muslims took offense” at his quotation of the Byzantine Emperor at his Regensburg address to scientists is a textbook example of how to show sensitivity and empathy (w/out actually admitting culpability ;-)
I agree completely with Mr. Archbold. The use of humor is an effective teaching method. Humor is the contrast between what ought to be and what is. It is irony. For this reason, same-sex “marriage” is objectively silly. What the good deacon said in his homily is objectively not offensive, because it makes light of something that is quite simply absurd (not the persons, but the concept of same-sex “marriage”).
If parishoners complained about a simple flippant remark, one must wonder about the doctrinal orthodoxy of that parish.
The message of Our Lord is not for weaklings, so either they aren’t being given real doctrine at that place or these sensitive parishoners should be prepared for more to come.
From the deacon’s remarks, having ‘gay friends’ and being OK with that… shows where he stands. He should be praying for them and encouraging them to confession.
The people in that parish are pretty thin-skinned. It was a humorous way to make a point. Sad he even had to bring the issue up. In my my day we’d have hauled the guys dragging him off to be fitted for a straitjacket ast the idea of two men or women “marrying.”
You have to ask youself what else is going on in the parish.
The Deacon’s remark was hurtful. To be thin-skinned is to be aware of the harmful effects of what comes from our mouths. Our Lord spoke about this. The highly sensitive human beings are extremely aware of how harmful a lack of love can be. They are the proverbial canaries in the coal mine. They feel the effects of the poison in the environment before the thick-skinned people do. Those who are insensitive to the harmful effects of their words have mutated into a defensive and aggressive adaptation that is the effect of the history of violence and sin.
As Mother Angelica is known to say…“if you see someone merrily skipping their way into hell, what is the most cheritable; to pat them on the head and confirm them in their sin, or to warn them before they fall into the pit?”
Their is nothing wrong with explaining Catholic teaching in a Catholic church!
What was being taught was contempt during Mass. How do you know who is going to hell?
Ronald: We don’t know who’s going to hell. Hell, after all, is a choice. We choose to be separated from God every time we ignore His plan. Every time we disregard the Truth. Mother Angelica’s point is still valid. We have an obligation, out of love for our fellow man, to speak to this truth however painful it will be for others to hear. The alternative for them (and us)is much worse.
@ Ronald King
Contempt? Are you kidding me? Have you ever read about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman. The Catholic Church has ALWAYS taught that, and always will.
In troubled times like these, when people are letting every false doctrine tickle their ears, it is a Priest’s or Deacon’s responsibility to preach the Gospel, and clear the air.
He didn’t show up at a gay “marriage,” and create trouble, he held up the couple getting married as a good example.
If you can’t take what the Catholic Church teaches, there is no one stopping you from leaving. HOWEVER, do not take it upon yourself to preach on behalf of the Church, for what She does not teach!
I see you have contempt also. He used sarcasm, which is veiled contempt, to make his point about marriage. That is a sin. Sarcasm is a source of power at someone’s expense.
I returned to our faith after 40 years away Easter of 05 and have been married 35 years. I only returned because of God’s Love. I left at 18 because of a lack of love in the people who lived and taught the faith.
I have been greatly disappointed in the hard hearted people who make so much unloving noise. I will not leave again because of them. I am here because of God.
I know what the Church teaches and I know that nobody who knows God’s Love would choose hell.
I know God’s Love. We are responsible for sharing God’s Love. I have spent 35 years helping people who have been hurt by a lack of love and I know what causes pain. Hell on earth is people who do not love.
To Ronald:
If you saw a child (out of love,) wanting to pet a rattle snake, would you pat her on the head, and tell her it’s wonderful that she is so full of love?
Of course not, you’d warn her, or pull her away from the danger.
To confirm active homosexual behavior (or ANY pre-marital sexual behavior for that matter,) is NOT love!
We are to Love the sinner, but NOT the sin.
We are to try and help the sinner reject the sin, see why it’s wrong, see why is causes them damage and pain, and to choose to follow God’s plan.
Jesus asked “Do you love me?” If you say you do, then He tells us to “feed my sheep.” A good shepherd will keep the flock from falling into the pit.
To Ronald:
Anyone who has raised children knows that there are different kinds of love. A parent who disciplines her child is more loving then a parent who does not because children (and adults alike) need boundaries and need to know right from wrong. Love is not about feelings and emotions, but about doing what is TRUELY best for the other. This is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting—to love a child through correction, out of concern for their ssalvation. At some point the child needs to be given freedom of will as God’s gives us, but our job as parents is to form them such that they will be able to make good use of their will.
Children never like correction (they cry and complain a lot), and my experience is that this does not change in adulthood (they go on the offensive and attack the person trying to help them). No one likes being told that what they are doing/believing is wrong and harmful to themselves and others. This is why parenting is so important: it is easier for a person to learn these lessons as a child than as an adult. But they must learn sometime and the learning will most likely be painful.
Ronald
“He used sarcasm, which is veiled contempt, to make his point about marriage. That is a sin. “
Ahem. No.
First. Contempt for people, bad. Contempt for heresy, good. You must differentiate between people and ideas.
Second. “He used sarcasm”
Umm. No he didn’t. Sarcasm is an ironic taunt. Irony uses words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning. He did not do that. He said exactly what he meant.
The worst he could be accused of is employing the use of a lame joke or pun. While that may be considered a sin in certain literary circles, I don’t think it is an actual sin.
So I would suggest that after getting off your high horse, picking up a dictionary might be helpful.
Other than that, your comment was very insightful.
(Hint, that last line is *actual* sarcasm.)
Pat Archbold, Your attitude is hostile. Sarcasm is an attitude that accompanies the message and establishes power over someone. I have 30 years of education and experience with interpersonal neurobiology and have accumulated much knowledge due to God’s Grace in order to help others who are hurt by hostile people.
When you are open to an intelligent discussion about human relationships then you know where I am.
Please pray for Jeremy, he obviously needs it.
Ronald King, YOUR attitude is the one that is hostile. You have given a personal tounge lashing to everyone on this site who dissagrees with you. You complain about everyone else with such an arrogant air. All the while saying you are more loving. (?)
Bottom line - you are for same sex “marriages.” The Catholic Church in her wisdom says it is a sin. You want to change the Church. NOT going to happen. God’s way is perfect. He does not change with popular opinion, no matter how many people are deceived, or how loudly they cry that their sin has to be embraced by the whole world.
Mr. King, if you’re going to lecture people here, you need to get a thicker skin.
Not everyone who disagrees with you is “hostile,” though you would have us believe so.
I can see that you do not like nor understand what I am saying. I point out the dynamics of hostility which I have studied for over 30 years and have learned the neurobiology of human relationships and have studied communication styles and have been personally involved in helping healing take place and love my faith and have never said I am supportive of same sex marriage and you think you know me.
Ronald, being thin skinned, like jealousy, is a veiled form of pride, which is a sin. It basically says that what ever I perceive to be an offense to me is an offense (pride of place for ones own opinion), the other person owes me an apology (others are secondary to me and how I feel), and I’m too important to ever have to feel offended (I should never have to feel bad). That is vanity and at its core a form of Pride masquerading as a victim to manipulate and demonize those who do not bow to its power. While you’re off studying all the latest about neurobiology of human relationships might I also suggest to you the seven deadly sins and the virtues one must practice to overcome them. Humility, the opposite of Pride, requires justice which states that each must be given their due. Considering this deacon used a play on words to illustrate the Truth does not constitute it as an offense. It just shows he has a dry sense of humor. To be offended by this deacon’s dry sense of humor and claim victimhood over it is a very bullish and manipulative, prideful thing to do. But I don’t believe these people were offended by his dry humor, because that just sounds too absurd. The offended people didn’t like being told that acting out on homosexuality is an abusive use of their bodies which are suppose to be a temple for the Holy Spirit. Their Pride is what caused them to be offended, not the Truth. I also do not wish for you to leave the Church, I just ask that you check your pride of place for your own opinion at the door along with the rest of us, and replace it with what our Church teaches, whom God gave authority to.
Some randomly hostile thoughts.
There is no right to be offended by the truth.
“Hostile” is a word used only by those on the losing end of an argument.
“neurobiology of human relationships” sounds like dirty movie.
Those who go off on tangents are usually tangential.
Those who say “never said I am supportive of same sex marriage” are most likely in favor of same sex marriage. Its kinda like saying “the coppers never proved a thing!” Not a rousing declaration of innocence.
Those who are holier than thou—typically aren’t.
Adam and Steve are probably thinking “I wish that dude wasn’t on our side—Are those new shoes?”
Jennifer, Look what you have written and you tell me if you know what is in my heart like God knows.
Pat, same for you. I know that remarks made like the deacon’s hurt people. Those who are thick skinned are not aware of this and thus dismiss it because it does not fit in with their belief system nor their neurobiology.
Humility recognizes that there are those who are hurt by seemingly innocent comments.
Sometimes the truth hurts, Ronald.
Pat, I want to thank you for this blog, and also for commenting on it as well. I think things tend to go well when the writer of the blog gets on and supports his ideas and doesn’t just let the plebes (such as myself) coursely hack away.
God bless you.
That should be “coarsely.”
Mr King,
To use an example that Pat used somewhat facetiously in the article: If my spouse told me that a dress I was wearing made me look fat, it would no doubt hurt my feelings but I’d be grateful that he told me the truth.
Your comment this morning that the deacon’s statement “hurt people’s feelings” is no doubt correct. It obviously did. So what? Throughout this thread, you’ve steadfastly maintained that you are taking the high moral ground by upholding the offended feelings of some the people present in this UK parish.
The opposite is true. The unkindest action a person can take is to not tell someone the truth for fear of hurting their feelings. Ask anyone who has walked around all afternoon with a bit of spinach stuck between their front teeth after lunch bc no one wanted to offend them by telling them. It does not take a neurobiologist to figure this out.
Liseux, How we convey the truth shows the disposition of our heart.
Therese, I never said to not speak the truth. I stated that the way in which it was presented was wrong.
and I said, “so what?”
Therese, exactly.
You know, this comment on Uncle Di’s blog might also apply to this thread:
Posted by: Pseudodionysius - Mar. 10, 2010 10:09 PM ET USA
I never tire of Barb Nicolosi’s immortal phrase: “Cowardice masquerading as charity.”
Just sayin’..
Just sayin’?..What is the truth you are expressing and what feeling is influencing you to express it?
Great discusion. I couldn’t help but wonder how Mr. King would answer his own question. “What is the truth you are expressing and what feeling is influencing you to express it?” Mr. King just seems so adamantly certain that he knows the mind of God, while the rest of the people are stuck in a Pauline condundrum, looking into a mirror through a foggy glass…or something to that effect.
God is Love. Anything that is not love does not belong to God. The statement “Adam and Steve” does not belong to God. Look at the disposition it was spoken with and if you are honest with yourself you will see the disposition.
God is also Truth, RK.
Did God create Adam and Steve or Adam and Eve? What the good pastor said expresses the truth that homosexual acts are not natural and not what God had in mind for humanity.
Good heavens, man, I think you’re getting to hypersenstive about the phrase.
Liseux, God made people of different sensitvities and this is well documenmted. Some people are born with more pain receptors and experience pain sooner and more intensely as a result. That is why Our Lord tells us to watch what comes from our mouths. You cannot be flippant with human beings. You do not know the effect these remarks have. It is up to the stronger person to protect against harming the more sensitive person. That is in the bible. That is a part of the Truth.
@ Ronald King:
It is up to the stronger person to protect against harming the more sensitive person. That is in the bible. That is a part of the Truth.
Exactley! And that is what we have all been trying to say to you here. Those who can clearly see what the word of God says, have to protect those who cannot. Active homosexual behavior kills the soul. They are hurting themselves, and each other. Why wouldn’t people of good will try to help them? And, a simple pun of marriage should be between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve is a very simple and humerous way for a decon to do his job of proclaiming the truth in a society that has lost it’s way.
Stop picking and choosing and read my entire comment, please. Words hurt.
Poking fun hurts.
Do you just want your ears tickled, Ronald?
Liseux, Why won’t you respond to the sensitivity I mentioned above. I know my work. I know the research involved in sensitivity to pain. Are you not able to humble yourself enough to address that sensitivity?
No, I will not tickle your ears.
I see that you do not want to learn something helpful that may help others do a better job of bringing people into the faith.
That is sad.
@ Ronald King
I have a question for you~
You stated in an earlier post “ love my faith and have never said I am supportive of same sex marriage.”
“If” you really are not supportive of same sex “marriage,” then can you tell me how you perceive that the Deacon could have explained the Church’s teachings that marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman, in a way that is not offensive to you? Not in generalities, but a plain example?
First of all Kathy, the deacon’s comments are not offensive to me. His comments hurt me because they do not exhibit the beauty and sensitivity that are inherent in the Grace that God bestows on us in our faith. They are more related to a stand-up comic.
Let me think about what I would say and write off-line because this page keeps re-booting and I lose what I have written.
@ Ronald King
Thank you. I’ll watch for your response.
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