Children Cost Too Darn Much!!

03/10/2011 Comments (29)

Every year or so you see some version of this story.  It costs one gazillion dollars to raise a child.  The implication, it’s just not worth it.  Example.

New research suggests that people may exaggerate the perks of being parents to rationalize the financial costs of raising children.

Two studies, featured in the journal Psychological Science, measured more than 140 parents’ feelings after being presented with information regarding the hefty bill of raising a child. In the Northeast, raising one child to the age of 18 costs nearly $193,000, according to the research.

Wow.  $193,000 buckaroos?  How do I put this politely?  Horse hockey!

All you moms and dads out there of five or more...READ MORE

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The Armchair Pro-Life

03/06/2011 Comments (121)

It should not surprise that I hold in low esteem a particular breed of man who, while claiming the name Catholic, supports openly and actively that wretched party of death. They fret over a folly, which they basely baptize as “social justice”, which inexplicably counsels the right of broadband internet access and condoms for the poor, while innocent life is extinguished by the millions at the cruel hands of the federally subsidized. In so doing, they weave for themselves a seamless garment as a shroud, befitting the whitewashed tombs they gaily inhabit.

Still, another breed of man occupies a rung on my ladder of loathing barely an amoeba’s head above the aforementioned—the armchair...READ MORE

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A Fat Man's Guide To Holiness

03/01/2011 Comments (29)

I have a confession, but don’t judge me. I’m a fatty.

That’s right.  I am a a big ol’ fatty fatty of the clan Boombalatty.

But I do not write here today in some narcissistic pursuit of a cathartic revelation in which I proudly declare that “I my curves” or “curve” in my case since my shape is rapidly approaching the spherical.

No, I am not here to tell you that I look good fat. I don’t. I am here to tell you that I am good fat.

What say you, Patrick?  Everyone knows that the truly holy sport the gaunt look.  Kinda like David Bowie in the 70’s, but without all the weird androgynous-ness.  Saints are skinny.  Fat people are lazy, and lazy does not equate with holiness, you say!

Ah,...READ MORE

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Liturgical Vigilantes

02/27/2011 Comments (69)

When one thinks of notorious vigilantes, several names and personality types come to mind. Perhaps Charles Bronson or Dirty Harry, or maybe even the Dark Knight, Batman. But personally, I have yet to run into tragic costumed figure or a rogue cop who has just had enough.

But I have met a person who has had enough and can’t take it anymore, a person who has seen too much lawbreaking simply ignored by the competent authorities, a person who has finally decided to do something about it—to become a vigilante—Mrs. McGillicuddy.  She sits in the third pew on the left.

As general rule, vigilantes are not born, they are made. Their steely resolve to right the wrong, forged in the fires of...READ MORE

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What's So Great About Democracy?

02/22/2011 Comments (17)

With dictator after dictator facing early retirement over the last month, we have heard a lot of talk about democracy.

We are told that protesters are seeking democracy.  We should support democracy.  The people deserve democracy.  I say, so what?

What’s so great about democracy?

I think people sometimes mistake the means for the ends.  Democracy can be a means toward a larger goal, the securing of individual liberty.  But it is no guarantee of the same.  Without a culture supporting it, democracy can be just as bad as whatever it replaces.

Democracy in the hands of the Klingons probably still portends bad news for Starfleet, not to mention your average Klingon.

People often...READ MORE

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Is Deception Always Wrong? I'm Not Convinced

02/16/2011 Comments (134)

Ever since the release of the Lila Rose - Live Action videos that exposed Planned Parenthood for their illegal practices (beyond the obvious immoral practices,) I have been following the debate over the sinfulness of subterfuge with much interest.

My esteemed colleague Mark Shea has treated on the subject twice in the last week (here and here.)

I have to admit that after reading Mark’s comments, the articles that he links to, and the catechism, the case seems cut and dry.  And yet, I suspect that it is not.  There remain some questions that I believe are unanswered.

I wish to be clear here before I continue; I am posing questions here, not making pronouncements.  I am not making a...READ MORE

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For The Love Of God - Shut Up!

02/14/2011 Comments (92)

Of the many things that have been lost during the last forty years in the name of the council, I miss one the most.  Silence.

Noise is my life.  With five children ages ten and under, I know from noise.  My ten year old daughter screaming at my nine year old son “You are SOOOOO rude!” while he bangs on the bathroom door laughing.  The seven year old and the five year old are playing Mario on Wii with the volume up to 147, and my three year old daughter is running around in a princess dress with a light sabre yelling “I’m Apunzel!  Daddy, I’m Apunzel, see?” Noise is my life. 

But these same children who are an endless source of decibels know, the moment we open the doors of the Church,...READ MORE

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The Priest Voice

Why do some priests speak like Mr. Rogers?

02/06/2011 Comments (58)

I know well and have known many priests during my earthly span and I hope to be around long enough to get to know even more.

And so, over the years, I have had many conversations, discussions, and even friendly arguments with priests, and most of them are normal guys.  They have opinions and many of them even have short tempers, not unlike me.  Talking to them about various subjects is like talking to most other men.  So it always surprises me when I hear it.  You know what I am talking about.

The Priest Voice.

The priest voice is that cloying sing-songy version of the Mr. Rogers voice which is often heard at the back of the Church or on the front steps as the priest greets parishioners...READ MORE

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About Pat Archbold

Pat Archbold
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Patrick Archbold is co-founder of Creative Minority Report, a Catholic website that puts a refreshing spin on the intersection of religion, culture, and politics. When not writing, Patrick is director of information technology at a large international logistics company. Patrick, his wife Terri, and their five children reside in Long Island, N.Y.