This is heartbreaking in just about every way possible.
Rajo Devi Lohan of India and her husband wanted children for years but were unable to conceive. But so intense was their desire for children that they procured loans to afford IVF treatments while in their 60’s. The couple celebrated the birth of their child last year while Lohan was 70 years old. Now, due to complications stemming from the pregnancy, Lohan is reportedly dying and currently too weak to care for her baby, saying her body never recovered from bearing the child.
This is awful and my prayers go out to the entire family but especially the child. But is it surprising? I don’t think we can call it that.
According to the Daily Mail, “she has no regrets, saying: ‘I dreamed about having a child all my life. It does not matter to me that I am ill, because at least I lived long enough to become a mother.’”
While I’m sure she loves her child, isn’t there something wrong with that quote? Isn’t the focus a bit off center to you?
I’ve heard some calls for limiting the age of IVF mothers but its hardly an outcry. In fact, if an age limit were challenged in court due as age discrimination you’d have to predict the courts would likely eventually side with the wanna-be mothers saying that it’s their body, their choice or something like it. Heck, the courts might even invent a new right if they had to. They’ve done it before.
Legal restrictions for IVF would likely be fought against by both the left and the libertarian right on the grounds that you don’t want the government deciding who can and cannot be a parent. A woman in today’s legal setting may have a right to a pregnancy and a right to terminate - and nobody can tell her different. Any attempt to stage a moral argument against IVF will likely end in talk of separation of church and state and the old canard about how the Church is against science but I still believe it’s a conversation worth having.
But most people (I think) still know there’s something wrong with all this. They may not even be able to say why but they’re worried about Octomon having eight children through IVF. And they know that 70 year old women shouldn’t be pregnant. They are concerned with all the celebrity surrogacies they see in the news but so many people don’t understand that the only argument that stands up against the legal advancement of libertinism is the constant and beautiful message of the Catholic Church.
But IVF pregnancies are happening everywhere including among Catholics. I spoke to a man I knew from church who recently had twins through IVF and he said that he was surprised to learn that the Church was against the procedure. Many people are wholly uneducated as to the moral questions concerning IVF.
When I was younger and deciding whether or not I wanted to be Catholic it was precisely the Church’s teachings on sexuality and reproduction that I responded to. I was bowled over by the beauty of the Church’s teaching and philosophical thoroughness. We should all do our best to explain it as bloggers, as friends, and as fellow parishioners. We should do it non-judgementally while reminding people that all babies are loved by God.
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Well put Matt, it should always be remembered by Catholics that our beautiful and enduring faith always resonates, even in the most hardened hearts, because it speaks to our very being as children of God.
In a society dominated by false and ridiculous “feelings” the feelings of the natural law dominate all others.
Dear Matt,
Thank you for this wonderful article that is beautifully said. My heart feels it, too. As a mother myself at 60 of a 15 year old: What continues to support, console, and comfort any doubts with the ability to ‘continue’ to raise my son is having gone to God in prayer in the first place - when the strong desire was at its peak at the age of 45; I asked beforehand that if it be His Will that I’d be given the necessary needs to take care of His child for a full life. The blessed Lord continues to lead the way…
A Miracle ...A Wedding and a Baby
Earlier in our marriage, I had a strong desire for another child, but my husband did not want children as he had mentioned this early on, explaining that part of his motivation was ,due to his traveling. I respected his wishes. I accepted the situation and left it in the hands of God, “Thy will be done,” and honoring my husband. We were happy and grateful for what we had. As many years passed, we were growing together as the family in appreciating the gift of the family we had in front of us with my daughter. My daughter went through the normal teenage years that were hell at times, but I remembered my Savior and prayed to see her come through. It wasn’t easy, but I learned that contrast is life. It was yet another outside situation that allowed the opportunity to go within for His counseling. I didn’t interfere where I thought I shouldn’t, remembering Who was guiding me. She grew up nicely, and met the most wonderful man in the world. Thank you, God. You did this for us, because we believed in You more than we believed in fear and in the appearance of suffering or lack.
While planning for my daughter’s wedding, out of nowhere, my husband sitting at the kitchen table told me how sorry he was that he didn’t have children of his own. His brother, who was eleven years younger, was going to be a father. My heart leaped for joy for them and for me hearing this wonderful news from my husband, after ten years, wanting his own child. I said we could have a baby too. He said, “Aren’t we too old?” He was soon to turn fifty and I was forty-five years old ...I said, “No,” silently thinking about Job’s blessings. I may have been forty-five years old but I felt very young at heart and I was in perfect health. I couldn’t believe he was talking about this just as I was going over some of my daughter’s wedding plans, and the wedding day was close by. I first asked my daughter if she and her future husband discussed having a family, as I didn’t want to take anything away from her, especially if she decided to have children right away. She said that she loved her job and didn’t want children of her own for maybe five years or so, since her career as a buyer for a well-known clothing manufacturer involved her traveling to other parts of the world, and she wasn’t ready to settle down in one place. I wanted to be sure, as not to take away from being the grandparent for her children, my grandchildren.
I asked my doctor if it were wise and if I were healthy to have a child at forty-five years old. He said he thought it was not only wise, but wonderful. I remembered any negative thought that would come, no longer applied; that they were the conditioning from the past. And during this time every negative thought did come up, “about my age, about having a child born with Down syndrome, etc.” But this time to be rooted out through prayer. The moment we decide with God, everything against it will show up. But when we hold to His promise, He will ‘supply’ everything that is needed and the best will happen for everyone. I became pregnant within that year naturally and had a healthy baby boy. A heart’s desire ten years before ...through patience and trusting God more.
By choosing to feel grateful to the present situations, and not allowing the feeling of loss, doubt, lack, or being left out, of the desire of wanting a baby before my pregnancy, brought to my entire family, the fruit in the perfect season. I trusted and allowed God’s timing, consideration to my daughter’s family planning, and the timing of my husband’s desires, that brought the gift of the expanding family I longed for in my heart a long time ago….
WHY would a female want to be pregnant at 70 in the first place? I wouldn’t, even if it were possible by ANY means.
She should’ve thought about this 30 years ago.
Nothing surprising here, just disappointment. Listen to the mother, “I dreamed about having a child all my life.” “I” and “me” is all she can think about. A mere reflection of our current secular society. No concern for anyone else, even one’s child. If the child is a boy, he is doomed to a life of abject poverty, if a girl, prostitution awaits.
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