A New Mexico woman attempted to sell her soul on Ebay, according to news reports.
Describing it as a "slightly used soul," the woman said she's offering buyers a kind of a "Carfax" so they can see the black and white marks her soul has accumulated over the years.
But the woman named Lori isn't selling her soul in some kind of weird macabre deal with the devil. You see, after being disabled in a drunk driving accident years ago, Lori told NBC 2 that she feels like she's "at the end of her rope" and just wants to connect with another soul.
Now, it's easy to read this and have a quick knee jerk blogger reaction of outrage. And believe me I can bring the knee jerk blogger reaction of outrage. But I just can't feel outraged by this. Here we have a woman is so lonely and so desirous of connecting with others that she would at least figuratively sell her soul for some human contact. Now, according to news reports, bidding went up pretty fast from $100 to $405 before Ebay removed the item.
It's a big fast moving world and maybe it's no surprise that a woman in a wheelchair was overlooked. Remember when we used to think that technology would make the world smaller. Remember we used to say that technology put the world at our fingertips. But if any of that is true, then why is it that everyone feels so darn distant from each other? If we're so in touch why does everyone seem so out of reach? Tweets, posts, and blogging were supposed to bring us together. But too often all we get are combox wars, monologues, and loneliness. Lots of loneliness.
I think that as a culture we may have gained the ability to connect with millions but lost the ability to connect with one person. We're perfecting an amazing ability to be alone in a virtual crowd.
Technology has pulled us apart. And I'm not saying I'd get rid of it. But let's face it. Air conditioners and television have destroyed communities. People used to sit out on their porches and talk. Now we're inside - dashing out movie quotes and pop news items with our own brand of snark on our IPhone while watching Ice Road Truckers. The Ipods and computers are just finishing the job air conditioners and television started. People don't know their neighbors at all anymore. And it's getting worse.
We don't connect. I remember when we first got a remote control for our television. I was twelve and I couldn't watch one thing. I just couldn't. I always thought there had to be something better on. Somewhere. So instead of watching a perfectly fine Gilligan's Island episode I spent the half hour looking for something better. And miserable. Now that I'm 43 I know that there's few things better than Gilligan's Island.
But technology has so advanced that I think we flip through people like we used to flip through channels. Instead of actually talking and making eye contact with the person in front of us we check our phone, our email, our texts, our Facebook. We've made Gilligan's Island of our friends because maybe just maybe there's something cool going on somewhere else. And gosh darnit, that cool thing ain't gonna' happen without me knowing about it. Early. So I can tweet it, email it and post it on Facebook.
Actual conversation is supposed to take a while. I honestly wonder how many people can tell a joke anymore - I mean a really good joke. There's a set up, the anticipation that makes you earn the laugh, and then here it comes...the punchline. But with technology, everything's a punchline. There's no time for set up. No background. That's why movie quotes are the coin of the realm. We've all seen the movie so we don' t need set up. We need punch lines in 140 characters or less. And maybe an emoticon for good measure.
This Ebay soul-selling was a sad and misguided attempt by a woman to have someone notice her. Someone to realize that there's a soul in this IP address. In a way it's almost a sane response to an insane world. As Christians it's our responsibility, our duty, our joy to connect with other people. Let's make an effort. Let's look past the Wii and find us ;)
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Ginger or Mary-Anne?
Hey Matt,
Instead of that “knee jerk blogger reaction of outrage” why not try some good ole Catholic love and contact Lori to see if it’s ok with her to give out her email address so people can let her know that she’s not alone in the world?
Thanks and God Bless You,
Tony
Maybe the wife of Thurston Howell the 3rd.
“Air conditioners and television have destroyed communities. People used to sit out on their porches and talk.”
So, what would you suggest we do about this situation?
All joking aside, I can kind of see where this lady is coming from. My family and I go to a wonderful, orthodox, Catholic church. My husband is a Knight, and we have three children, and one on the way. We have no family in the area and are longing for some friends that we can relate with. There is nothing for us. Nobody is aware of our loneliness, and I have no idea how to make it known without seeming desperate, insecure, or even presumptuous that anyone would even be willing to welcome us. I am therefore left to resorting to things like Facebook to feel connected or, commenting on the NC register. It sucks too, because I’m driven by media and not relationships, and that is what my kids see. There are many lonely people out there, indeed.
“Technology has pulled us apart. And I’m not saying I’d get rid of it.”
And this right here strikes me as the insane response to an insane world.
What interests me about the story is what the sale was supposed to accomplish. Obviously, you can’t really own a person’s essential personhood, in the strict sense of being free to use it at will (and the Thirteenth Amendment prohibits you from trying, which is presumably why E-Bay pulled the listing), but there are some kinds of ownership - that of cats, for instance, or family heirlooms - that isn’t so concerned with that “use” idea, and that tends more to emphasize the duties of the owner to care for the thing owned. I wonder if that’s what this woman was really saying to the world: not so much, “I want to connect,” but, “I want to be cared for; I want someone to value me and treat me with tenderness, and I’m willing to compromise my humanity for it, if necessary.” It could almost be viewed as a new twist on the Prodigal Son: “How many pets of my neighbor’s have affection enough and to spare, and I perish with neglect! I will arise and go to my neighbor, and say, Neighbor, I have fallen from favor with fate and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy fellow; make me as one of thy domestic beasts.”
@Katheryn, I totally relate. As a SAHM with little ones and no family in the area, I’ve even tried to make friends to no avail. Unfortunately I need them more than they need me. No matter how much I’ve invited or reached out to others, we don’t get invited anywhere, nor my kids to playdates or anything. I fill my personal loneliness up with Facebook too, which is going to be the predominate memory of my children I fear: me at the computer. I don’t think technology is exactly to blame. It’s like blaming guns for deaths rather than the people who wield them, but you are so right. There is a lot of loneliness in the world.
Katheryn & Grace,
I’m in the same boat except I now have some older children (3 teens) to be “friends” with. But there’s only so far you can be a friend to your own child- after all, you’re still “Mom”.
The problems we face are because we do not feel comfortable in shallow conversations devoid of religion.
We need to forget Facebook, etc, and find fellow Catholics to live near us (or move closer to them). We need to establish our own communities, consisting of a good parish Church and solid Catholic families (or at least those of us trying to be).
We’re looking for one currently.
Hang in there and please pray for us and each other, especially “Lori”.
Grace and Yvonne, if you’re anywhere in the Chicagoland area… Let’s get in touch! I feel like I am the only one… I’ve never met anyone like myself before, not for lack of trying, either!
Katheryn, Grace and others (no psychopaths, please), I have a youtube channel called HailMaryAdvent. Contact me there if you wish.
Yvonne, I am terrible at navigating YouTube, but will ask my husband. You may hear from me soon. Thank you!
Katheryn, my eldest daughter told me to use youtube as a way to contact you as I don’t use facebook, twitter, etc. All this and technically-challenged too! Something else in common!
Greetings from Sunny South Africa!
What an awesome post and what personal remarks. I admit I was tearing up a bit. Its true. We do not connect anymore. 2 days ago I met up with my neighbour to ask advice on how to approach someone in her industry regarding a promotion I’m doing. She has been living next door for a year and I only found out her name 2 days ago. We used to smile and wave when we pass each other, but nothing more. We shred stories about our family etc.3 or more hours later - I have a new friend! I have indeed learned a valuable lesson!
Yvonne, with all due respect, religious beliefs are intensely personal. If you find yourself lonely because the people you meet avoid conversations about religion, perhaps it’s because they are uncomfortable discussing it. Good luck.
I think loneliness is much more prevalent than anyone realizes. We all think it’s just us, but really, this is a widespread problem. To those of you here searching for friendship, I suggest that you get involved in some way at your parish. If you have serious time constraints, do something that coincides with Mass (EME, lector, usher, etc.). Volunteer as a catechist. I’ve noticed that catechists have great friendships; I wish I had volunteered years ago! Join the funeral luncheon committee or the pro-life group. Attend an adult Bible study. If there isn’t one, start it up. Two women at my last parish began a women’s evening Bible study using the Little Rock series, and it was an answer to a prayer for me. Four years later it’s a rather small group (15 when everyone comes, which is extremely rare), but we’re building lasting friendships with faith-filled women. Good luck to you and God bless.
Amen Jayne, great advice! Volunteering or as I prefer to say, doing God’s work, is such a blessing. Teaching CCD is a terrific idea. Or you can become a Eucharistic Minister at your parish, you all go to Mass anyway so it won’t take any time and you’ll be doing something wonderful. If you have more time you can take the Eucharist to a shut-in, a nursing home or a hospital. When you bring Jesus to people who are suffering you begin to realize how blessed you really are. I promise you that it will change your life. God Bless You All!
Now I have guilt. : ) A lot of truth in this BLOG. But without the Internet I wouldn’t be reading this fine insights with you all. ; )
Like everything else this too has it’s pros and cons. To God be the Glory. Bless you all.
Well, at least she believes that she has an immortal soul - how many self-described Catholics even think about their souls these days?
Matthew:
I agree with the person who said that what this poor woman needs is some old fashioned caring and compassion. Is there any way to get her email address? I’d be happy to reach out to her.
Peace and Blessings
This story reminds me of a verse from a song I was listening to a few days ago, “Ants Marching” by the Dave Matthews Band. Behind the snappy rhythm and the violin solos lie a message about exactly this kind of human disconnection:
We look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But we never say a thing
And these crimes between us grow deeper.
Posted by Zeke on Sunday, Jul 8, 2012 7:25 AM (EST):Yvonne, with all due respect, religious beliefs are intensely personal. If you find yourself lonely because the people you meet avoid conversations about religion, perhaps it’s because they are uncomfortable discussing it. Good luck.”
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Zeke,
I think you may be missing the point.Faith is an integral part of those who believe & in many communities -Baptist, Mennonite,Pentacostal,etc, conversation about faith is welcome & not socially incorrect.That used to be more true in Catholic communities as well.
Kathryn, Grace, Yvonne et al,
I totally hear where you are coming from, though my situation is a little different in that I started parenting before the internet, and here I am still parenting with it. Hands down, things are worse. I honestly feel sorry for new mothers. The suggestion to volunteer is a very good one. Try to find something that you can volunteer with your children so they can get out of the house with you and see lots of human interaction. Start reaching out to people in the neighborhood, if you’re in one. Even if they’re not Catholic or your age or your economic level or whatever. Just try to reach out and see where it takes you.
Matthew, you very accurately described the problem. Any suggestions for the solution?
When I was 16 years old, all my friends were the type that were involved in sexual relationships, and I wanted to be like them, because that is where I thought I “existed.” Family life was kind of “ignored”, no communication, so my friends were my “family” in a way. I talked to myself and said that if I got involved with someone within 6 months, I would sell my soul. Don’t really remember if I passed the 6 month line or not, but I did get in involved with someone and I wish in a way I hadn’t. I was in a car accident when I was 19 years old, and walked away with minor injuries (even though they needed to get the jaws of life to remove me from the car). God saved me (this I am positive of). We as a society have some pretty interesting ideas of “selling ourselves” but in reality it is what you do with your time while you are a live. If you are selfish and in it for yourself (regardless what “religion” you are) You don’t qualify for what Christ asked us to: Feed the hungry, give drink to thirsty, shelter the homeless (stop thinking about yourself and look around you…what can you do….$5 feeds kids in South Sudan for a week, You don’t have to be physically there, but you can contribute what you do have. We all make mistakes in our lives, and God, in His awesomeness and majesty, humbled Himself enough to take our punishment upon Himself so that we can live in eternity with Him. We either serve others or ourselves. The choice is ours. I would like to contact Lori. Please pass my email to her. Thank You.
Hi Kathleen,
Yes, maybe I am missing Yvonne’s point, that seems to be that her preference to associate with only fellow Catholics (those at least as ardent in the faith as her) has brought only loneliness and dissatisfaction. But it’s more than a little ironic that she’s reaching out to online strangers in the comment section of a blog that laments the decrease of human interaction due to this technology. Does this not suggest that her situation is equally as sad as the woman offering to sell her soul on eBay as a way to connect with others? If I insisted on associating only with those that share my beliefs (or lack thereof) and required them to be comfortable discussing them, I would also find myself a very lonely person. I would also have denied myself the opportunity to know and become friends with some very wonderful people.
Hey folks. Be assured I’m nowhere near selling my soul on ebay. As a mom of a large family I have plenty of human interaction that no doubt Lori does not. The point that I did not make very clearly is that we often want more than shallow grocery-store conversation. We would like to engage in meaningful conversation with those outside our immediate family.
Zeke, I do have acquaintances outside of my faith. However, because they do not share in the deepest part of my soul (the True Faith), they cannot be actual friends. Another point to make clear is that the goal is not human interaction; it is true friendship. In the 80s and beyond, the word “friend” lost its meaning and is now synonymous with “acquaintance”. Now, I need to get back to my family. The book of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus in the Douay-Rheims) explains this much better than I can in Chapter 6. May God bless you all.
Zeke ,
Hello back!
I may be missing some understanding of the discussion, too & perhaps fellowship might be a better term than friendship here.And you may be asking us whether faith interferes with fellowship/friendship in general.I don’t think it does.My personal experience has been that it strengthens friendships.
God bless.
I just read your article and a few of the responses. It is good to know I have the support of a few people. It is a truly lonely world ouut there, lacking love and compassion.
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