Manti Teo is a liar. Yes. He lied. But the linebacker from Notre Dame is guilty of a much greater sin in the eyes of many. He's not cool.
Even as he became one of the most celebrated figures in college football, Teo was never cool. He talked about God. He seemed earnest. Tebow-ish.
For this past year, Teo seemed too good to be true. He was portrayed as everything that was still good in sports. He was a kid who seemed to take his faith seriously and by all accounts was a great young man who returned for his senior year and led his team all the way to the national championship game. The kid was the stuff of legend. And now he's a punchline. And a target. Now, the cool kids have decided on whose back the "kick me" sign will be on for the near future. It's Teo, because he was hoaxed into believing he had an online girlfriend who died.
As everyone knows by now, Teo made the completely uncool mistake of being naïve.
After the original article in Deadspin came out that Teo's girlfriend was a fabrication, the accusations flew that Teo had fabricated the girlfriend in order to hype his Heisman chances. In fact, it went beyond accusations. It was assumed in many circles. The worst was just assumed.
But that now doesn't appear to be true. In fact, ESPN has located another person who claims to have been victimized in a similar way by the same hoaxer. Teo did an ESPN interview and now it seems Teo will be interviewed by Katie Couric. But the knives have been out. And their work can't be undone. A columnist for CBS in Chicago called the 21 year old an "idiot." Columnist Rod Dreher sadly directed his readers to a page with raunchy photo-shopped pictures of Teo with a blow up doll. Dreher called the page "comedy gold."
Deadspin which did a fine job of uncovering the story threw in a paragraph where people who didn't know the truth suggested that there was an 80 percent chance that Teo was in on it from the beginning. How they come up with a number (any number) seems beyond imagining.
But why all the vitriol? Is it because what Teo did was so wrong? It seems now that Teo told reporters that he'd met her, even gave a characterization of how they looked at each other. It seems he was embarrassed that his girlfriend was only a voice on the telephone and online so he didn't tell the truth about that. And when he first started suspecting the girl he loved was a fiction dreamed up by hoaxers for reasons I can't fathom, Teo didn't tell the media right away.
For contrast, think about this - from 2005-2010, at least 31 off-the-field arrests involving 25 of University of Flordia players occurred. Some were simply alcohol possession and disorderly conduct but many involved charges of violence and felonies.
Did you know this? Do you know any of their names? Probably not. But Teo is a target and a punchline. Why? Because he fell in love and had his heart broken. And didn't tell everyone right away.
Is Teo perfect? No. He lied.
Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick said, "In many ways, Manti was the perfect mark because he is a guy who is so willing to believe in others and so ready to help, that as this hoax played out in a way that called upon those tendencies of Manti, it roped him more and more into the trap."
Is that the kind of person we want to attack? Are we supposed to congratulate ourselves for being so much more cynical and world wise? Is that what the cool kids do? Me? I still think the world probably needs more Teo's and less cynical worldly types always willing to lend an arched eyebrow when a helping hand is needed.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the voice of reason. I, too, agree that Manti is not blameless…he did embellish his story. Not good, but I have come across so many people—and more adults than I care to name—who do the same thing or worse. But to see the hate pouring out of all orifices has been so disconcerting.
It is so refreshing to see articles like this given that most that have been written have painted quite a different story. By the way, the person you referenced in ESPN is a friend of mine. I know her heart and I know Manti’s…and they both made of gold.
God bless.
Teo’s Greatest sins appear to be pride and lying and there are certainly worse out there. Stories of college football players sexually assaulting women, drunk driving, and shooting up a strip are far more common. Heck teo’s infractions are relatively harmless in the big picture. Also whatever Norte dame might have done to enable teo pales to the horrors that penn state allowed to continue.
However, teo as innocent faithful rube strains credibility when you realize teo kept this fake girlfriend up for 3 years!! And created an elaborate tragedy for her. If the time frame had been three weeks teos story much hold more wAter. It sounds like suspiciously like a cyber sexual relationship, one that teo took too far.
Regardless of the truth teos not a monster and we have reason to suspect he is. He’s a victim of the battle of stereotypes: on one hand you have the faithful aw shucks rube and the all American collegiate player restoring an irrelevant football program and that faithful weirdo who’s obviously hiding something sinister and perverted like all those televangelists and pedophile priests.
Teo is neither rather a confused young man who’s been eaten up the Norte dame mystique and the ESPN sports culture that over glorifies athletes.
I just have to share this : http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2013/01/20/notre-dame-linebacker-duped-into-playing-for-fake-catholic-university/.
Sorry if that doesn’t add much, but you have to admit : it’s really funny.
Manti Teo is a moron.
@Casting Crowns : Maybe you forgot a “m”. Or maybe not. Either way, it’s hard to argue with you but it is still not very charitable. You could just call him “very naive” (and that would cover both if you forgot to put an “m” or not).
@Thibaud: Check the dictionary for the correct spelling. He had several opportunities (and time) to correct the story rather than to perpetuate a lie. Imaginary girlfriends are for boys 12 or 14 years old. We don’t expect that from adults his age.
Thanks for posting this. I agree that it appears the only lies Te’o was guilty of were of embellishing the details of the relationship because he was embarrassed it was all online - not lying about the relationship’s existence (he believed it was real) or trying to use it to gain any sort of advantage (unlikely, since linebackers are pretty much never in the Heisman conversation and he certainly wasn’t at the time he thought his ‘girlfriend’ had died - and no one would have expected ND to do as well as they did this year). It is pretty clear he was naive and the victim of a hoax, which is hardly deserving of the scorn and contempt it’s brought on him. I’m actually surprised at how many people think they would instantly see through something like this - how long have you all been on the internet?? I have seen a lot of online relationships (including meeting my husband this way), had surprisingly close friendships with people I’ve never met IRL, and known lots of other people who have as well. You don’t always know who may be on the other end of the line, even if phone conversations are involved, which is why it’s prudent to be cautious, but younger people - especially trusting types like Te’o - may not think about it as much. I’ve also seen a lot of medical hoax blogs where people just make stuff up - in great detail - to gain sympathy. This story apparently only really went on in depth for about six months, starting after the hoaxers turned it up a notch by having the ‘girlfriend’ get in a car accident, at which point Te’o was drawn in more. It’s an unfortunate story. It doesn’t merit the vitriol, as Matthew says.
Thanks for telling the story because I kept seeing all kinds of references to it online and had no idea what they were about.
Poor guy.
Susan
@Casting Crowns : I tried to make a joke about Manti Te’o's religion. At least it made me laugh.
@Thibaud: My apology. That one flew right by me. I “get it” now. Yes, that is funny. You are quite perceptive. Thanks.
Something I haven’t read (in the few reports I have read) about T’eo is that he’s a devout Mormon at a Catholic university. Although he has nothing but good words for his experiences at Notre Dame, it’s bound to be isolating socially, as far as dating goes (And never mind ND - there are probably few Mormons in South Bend, period). Combine this with a basic guilelessness, and the story is unsurprising. Good column.
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