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Just Once…

Sunday, December 09, 2012 9:48 PM Comments (38)

Just once:

I'd like to see a movie where a girl chooses the corporate lawyer who's a nice guy over the environmental activist who's pretty much a jerk.

I'd like to hear the government say, "hey this program doesn't really work. Let's cut it."

I'd like to hear a teenager tell a parent they were completely right about something. Anything.

I want to hear my dentist admit, "Yeah, this is probably going to hurt quite a bit."

I'd like to see a hybrid with an NRA bumper sticker.

I'd like to see a movie critic admit that yeah Adam Sandler is kinda' funny.

I'd like to see an advertisement for a "Glee" episode that wasn't a very special episode.

I'd like to paint the walls in the house or move every piece of furniture and have my wife say, "It's perfect. Let's keep it just this way the rest of our lives."

I'd like to see a movie on SYFY and say, "That was better than I thought it would be."

I want to hear the ACLU admit that a little illuminated plastic baby Jesus may not totally destroy freedom as we know it.

I'd like everyone to stop acting so surprised when I have a good idea.

I'd like the right thing and the easy thing to be the same thing.

I'd like to hear a Bigfoot researcher say an eyewitness account sounds like complete malarkey.

I'd like to see an America's Funniest Home Video where some poor Dad doesn't get slammed in the crotch.

I'd appreciate it if my kids could go a whole week without forgetting a book at school.

I'd like the kids to tell me about a project before the night before it's due.

I'd like to go back to back to a time where all my kids' games don't end in a pretend tie.

I'd like to remember to check if the Christmas lights are working before I string them on the tree.

Just once I'd like to see a Hallmark movie with a totally calamitous ending.

Please feel free to add your own things you'd like to see just once (at least.)

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.