Like it’s not bad enough that everyone looks at us as lazy princesses, now we are making the world harder for other women, too. That makes me want to cry. SOMEBODY has to raise my kids - why does it have to be SOMEBODY else instead of me??

Don’t forget about how we’re all taking advantage of our husbands by living on their incomes! That’s actually a more mainstream and prevalent attitude among women and men who wouldn’t define themselves as “feminists”—and can most shockingly be found among a generation of grandparents who stayed home to raise us!

That’s rich—a feminist telling us we should not “uncritically celebrate every individual’s choice.”

OK This is nothing more than the feminazis showing their true colors.You can have a choice, so long as it’s my choice.

BTW I have thought of other women. By my staying out of the work force I have left room for other women to have a job. In particular the single moms who have to go to work because of a dead beat dad who left them thanks to the Liberation of women.

Sorry Gloria, I proudly carried my 5, yes FIVE, kids in my body for 9 mos. and gave them LIFE. I will not pass them off to the day care to be raised. I don’t care how much I sacrifice for them, I would die for them.

p.s. I also home school—how’s that for “not working”

Instead of trying to be like men, shouldn’t we instead seek to live out our unique feminine vocation of motherhood?  I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM, but that changed when my son was born.  I was lucky enough to take him to work with me at first, and then I made the sacrifice to stay home.  Yes, it is a sacrifice, but one that’s worth it.  I can’t imagine not staying with my kids now (especially since I’m planning to home educate them).  Besides, even if I did work, nearly all of my paycheck would go to paying someone else to watch my kids - what’s the point?

Don’t forget stay-at-home ladies, that many of us men think you’re awesome. We’re very impressed at your high power super stressful job. For the rare dad that does the same, kudos to you as well.

The particular grace of God that some receive for dealing with the awesome but hectic work of the home is the highest profile job there is, and we know this because people like Gloria Feldt will never let it go.

I turned in my notice at work last night.  After three years of working nights and weekends and missing everything I am going back home.  Now I can focus back on my family—the most important people in the world to me.  Frankly, I don’t care whether this woman respects my choice or not.  The bad thing is that her opinion is so widespread and that opinion impacts me whether I like it or not.  We have to change hearts to win this.  And the place to change hearts is in our own home first.

Man, I just can’t wait until this anti-child, baby-boomer generation dies out and all of the people actually having children repopulate the world.  I’m getting so sick of all of these tired, so-called ‘feminists.’ They are SO 1970s.

This woman Feldt is an enemy of human nature, an instrument of decadence, a minion in the Planned Program for the destruction of society. My wife and I wished we had the (financial) opportunity for her to stay at home, but we can’t. Countless times I have seen her teary eyes every morning when she HAS to go to work. God bless SAHMs always!

Thank you so much, Matthew. With NO regrets, but, with a heart full of gratefullness:

“Somehow, They Knew Better”

My mother, who joyfully raised seventeen children, certainly had the true life experience of qualified knowledge and wisdom that could possibly be of greater good and importance to our society – even answer some of the questions we may ask today regarding children: 

        She would often tell us how the children can suffer from our choices that we make while we don’t think of the children first.  As she’d say, “While there are many families with children and both parents living under the same roof, the parents can still be missing the present joys in front of them by being too distracted with worldly things, whether they were busy working for having to put food on the table, or fame or fortune”; she would hear the children’s cry for the needed attention.  She always seemed to take a stand for the children when she felt something was needed to be said for their rights and their future – they depend on us!

        Although we may not want or like to hear what our parents have to say, they know best!  But, when we mature and grow in wisdom, we realize their words are sacred.  I remember situations, which today would be looked at much differently: 

          My daughter was just two years old and my first husband’s company wasn’t doing very well.  As a hairstylist, I took a part-time job on Saturdays, while my husband watched my daughter. I loved working and being amongst other adults in the business world.  My boss wanted me to work more than one day a week.  I wanted to accept the position, as I loved my job as a hairstylist.  But, being very sensitive, I noticed my mother’s response was not supportive and that she was short with me in our conversations. She noticed the joy in me with the excitement of being at work, rather than the joy of being home.  I couldn’t stand her not communicating, as she normally would.

        I asked her why she seemed to be somewhat distant.  She said to me, “Your daughter is much too young to consider leaving her at this time. You could always go back to work when she starts school in a few years.”  She said, “You have the rest of your life to focus on your career. It is not the time to leave her and provide the income.  It is your responsibility to nurture her first, before she starts school.”  (She was extremely old school about staying home with our children while they were very young.)  I stopped working because I couldn’t stand her uneasy feelings and somehow I trusted her wisdom, before my own.  I have never regretted it to this day, as my mother’s spirit mysteriously, must have known something that foretold the future!  By the time my daughter started first grade I became a widow; a single parent with full responsibility of providing for her for the remaining years of school. 

          I will always be grateful to my mother and trusting her wisdom, because of which I stayed home for the first five years with my daughter.  And at that time – three decades ago, and not today – it was known to be said, that these first years were to be the most informative.  Which then left me more comforted, and with good feelings of hope for a brighter future for her, regardless of what we had encountered.  She grew up nicely and well balanced through all the tragedy. I truly believe those first five years must have meant something most important that supported her and maintained her well-being.  Amazing Grace:  My mother must have known something…!

          Our parents truly want our lives to be full of abundance, and want to give us more than what they had.  And sometimes the only way they know how to give us these things, is from the experience in their own lives. They live and tell us the best way they know how; through their own lessons they have learned and earned their wings.  And through humbleness and obedience, love, respect, and honor to them, we are more certain to rise to higher places. Regardless of what we thought we knew, the majority of the time:  Somehow, they knew better!

I am a single mom, not by choice, living at the poverty level and freelancing at a number of different things during school hours to make ends meet.  I’m graduate-educated, but my kids are worth it, and frankly so am I! Kudos to all sahms.

Do these people hear themselves?  It’s morons like these that put us in the problem women are in today.  You can still easily loose your job because of a pregnancy and women as women still have few real rights.  Instead of fighting for women to have the right to be like men they should have fought for women to have the right to be women.  If you read the transcripts of the Roe v. Wade court arguments, you see this clearly.  They should have been fighting for our right to have children not kill them.  So disgusting.
Don’t these morons know that it’s because of their poison that now so many of us HAVE to work when we would rather be with our children.  I work and LOVE my job and what I do and I’m good at it but I would much rather be with my babies and see my husband more.  It’s heartbreaking.  Thanks feminazis for our messed up society.

In agreement with all the SAHM as I am one as well (11 kids, homeschooling, etc.), I have a slightly different take on this whole situation.  What Ms. Feldt’s is doing is pitting woman against woman and attempting to put us at odds with each other.  We are called to love each other and strive to develop a loving community of women who support each other.  I hate seeing/reading the slapfest of words that is created when the working moms are across the battle field to the SAHM.  We need to resist this every time we encounter it.

Of course, we all know the benefits of staying at home BUT we also know many, many good women who must work due to the economy or family situation.  Allowing Ms. Feldt to incite us to, once again, see ourselves in a us vs. them dynamic is not reflective of the Catholic Church’s teaching which calls on us to both serve one another and look on each other with love.

Hello. Stay at home Moms are the hardest working Moms around! They generally raise the kids, run the house, and run several orginizations! Many orginizations are dying out because there aren’t enough stay at home Moms to join and/or run them. I say we need more stay at home Moms!!! If you’re going to be a Mom, STAY HOME!!! More stay at home Moms equals safer neighborhoods, less sick kids at school spreading disease, less deliquency and mischief because enough Moms are around to yell at and stop them before things get out of hand. Healthier women equals stay at home Moms.

Mothers: DO NOT let anyone denigrate your correct decision to stay home and raise your children! NO job is more important than ensuring that you and your husband guide your children to responsible adulthood by instilling Catholic virtues in them. You will not regret doing so, as you both will be rewarded with stable adult children with Catholic values intact. When they are out of the nest you can go back to school and enter the workforce - don’t forget, women are now living into their eighties. Your children need you at home as a rock of stability and refuge in this crazy world we live in. And actually, it is just as important to stay at home and hold the fort when they’re teenagers - there are many temptations in the world to guide them away from! I’m a baby boomer who is sad at the lies that have been sold to women by the destructive feminists.

Thank you Rachel for your thoughts. These thoughts from Ms. Feldt are absolutely horrifying, and of course completely ironic. It is totally offensive to me as a mother that she sees so little value in taking care of our precious children.

However I am also offended by individuals who put down women who do work. I’m so happy for people that can make things work on one income but many families are not so lucky. I currently work two part time jobs and am trying to still spend time with my kids. I am able to take my baby with me to my morning job and my very part time teaching job at night my husband watches the kids. While I find it terrible to put down such a wonderful vocation as a Stay at Home Mom, please don’t make the mistake of creating an us vs. them with moms who do work. Let’s focus on appreciating all the work moms do and help moms who do need to work to stay close to their children with more flexible work options!

Feminism ought not to be called feminism, but rather masculinism.  May the leader of the feminism movement realize her ways and repent…...or just die and do us all a favor.

@CATHERINENAGLE Amazing story, beautiful insight. Thank you for sharing

It’s funny how they’re all about choice until you make one they don’t like. And they call US hypocrites.

What Gloria Feldt said is reprehesible and I completely respect stay at home moms. HOWEVER, do not make the same mistake she is in denegrating one choice in order to support another. The vast majority of working women are not trying to be men and they do not love their children any less than you do.

Hey, I’m a working mother and I DO NOT AGREE with this lady. There is nothing wrong with making your children your prioty, they should be.
Children need guidance from their parents not I bunch of strangers.
My husband and I work different shifts to make sure they always have one of us available.
I would have love to stay home with my kids, but money is needed. I
wear myself out, doing the mother thing which to me is my most important
role. (I am NOT ashamed to say), than trying to keep a boss happy. I do
but it’s NOT easy.  My hat goes off to all the women who stay home.  Thank you for keeping the family unit alive and well.  I only hope my daughters have the option.

Oh, yes. Stay at home. And if your husband dumps you for his cute 20-something secretary, simply dial 1-800-YOURESCREWED .

In a world where no-fault divorce exists, being a stay-at-home parent looks a whole lot like financial Russian roulette. If one still chooses it, that’s fine. I admire SAHM’s and SAHD’s. I also admire cops and soldiers. That doesn’t mean I could deal with a job with those kind of risks.

My wife has her MSW, and hasn’t “opted out” of working.  Rather, she has chosen to answer the call to be a stay-at-home mom (what we used to just call a “mom”, when “working mom” was not the norm).  She puts her degree to work every day (focus: childhood behavioral development).
Ms. Feldt can take a flying leap.  My wife isn’t harming the earning potential of other women, or exacerbating the salary gap. (As a matter of fact, she has greater earning potential than I do at the moment, but she still wants to be at home.)
The thing holding women back is the idea that women have to be just like men.  Sorry, ladies, we’re different.  Not better, not worse, but different.

I agree that it shouldn’t be an us vs them.  I think the key is children are important and we need to do our best in raising them no matter what our circumstances (SAHM/SAHD/or working for pay parent).  There is one area though that gets neglected.  If a parent does stay at home, then goes to re-enter the workforce, there is a bit of discrimination that happens today… entry level positions explicitly state new college grad, vs those with a college education that stayed at home for a period of time, then re-entered the workforce.  Seems like putting a network together to assist in on-ramping into the job market would be worthwhile.

Donna, nobody is asking (or requiring) that you be a SAHM, or a cop or a soldier.  The problem here is that someone all for women’s choice is disparaging the choices made by some women, claiming that it’s harming other women, and that they therefore should stop being so selfish as to make a choice with which she disagrees.
I agree that divorce is a danger, which is why couples should really make sure they’re “sure” before they get married and start a family.  While it’s after-the-fact for current families, engaged couples should really be helped to better discern if this is the right choice.  How long do priests spend in the discernment process and formation?  What about a husband and wife?

Women like Ms. Feldt have no understanding of the feminine genius.  I am a new mother-a working mom-and if I had the choice to stay home, I would.  There is nothing in the world more precious than being with your own child, raising her with the Catholic values my family holds dearly.  A career cannot compare to a child. A child is a gift from God, endowed with human dignity.  A career does not have that. 

It’s really sad that these feminists have such a microscopic view of the world.  They want to effect change, to the point of achieving immortality through their career.  This is an entirely false notion. No one can achieve immortality this way.  A child, however, gives us that chance.  Our DNA is passed down through generations, and through the grace of God, our faith is transmitted down through the ages, offering us the immortality that all humans crave.

Donna, my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you married a very selfish person. :(

I disagree though—the solution isn’t to get a job as some sort of insurance against an inevitable divorce.  The solution is to marry wisely and invest time and energy into sustaining that marriage.

Me, sure I’ve got an “important job.”  But thirty years from now not one person will notice what I’ve done at my place of work.  Software written will have long been erased as though it never existed.  Equipment justified will have been torn down and sold for scrap metal.  Patents will have long ago expired.  A plan for fiscal year whatever will have come and gone and be represented by one lonely entry in an accountant’s three ring binder. 

The wife?  She is at home forming immortal souls who, Lord willing, will be an eternal blessing.  She is forming the temperments and nuturing the character of three people who will live long after we do and possibly have children of their own.  Her “work” legacy is eternal, my work legacy will be reduced to scrap metal and recycled paper well before my life is over.

I just also wonder: Does Gloria Feldt have any children of her own? I’ve never heard either way.

What a bunch of nonesense! this why I guess there are so many neglected children that go to school without a mother at home! you have a choice you can’t have both! I choose to stay at home and nurture my children! AND when I feel that I contribute I will, they don’t stay small forever, children need their moms! getting called in from work, because you child is ill, staying with your child till they get better, the workforce is not family friendly.
I choose my children first! I don’t care about my ‘sister’s’ perhaps, you should go into a school and notice the need that is out there, I work in a school now as a secretary and I shake my head and some women’s priorities..children first!
Thank you very much.

CATHERINENAGLE, thank you so much for your story.

I always enjoying reading well written comments, especially from someone who used to think differently. There was a time when both my parents had to work due to finances and family issues. While they both wanted things to be different, my siblings and I bore the brunt of this decision. We were constantly left alone, trying to figure out dinner and homework assignments on our own.

Gloria Feldt’s uneducated comments show a stubborn refusal to consider the children of these working moms. While I agree that women can be just as effective in the workforce as men, I’ve seen so many marriages and family relationships deteriorate because career became more important than family.

Certainly, there are times when a mother is required to work to support her family, however, I don’t believe this should be a general practice. In case no one noticed, kids *are* a full time job. You end spending what you make just to pay for daycare and babysitting…. and that’s before adding in soccer jerseys and field trip costs.

While women have their place in the workforce, they, just like men, also have their place in the family.

I’m thinking in terms of interment camps for Gloria Feldt and her ilk.

We Catholics have become limp wristed, weak weasels when it comes to defending the faith and the the real life situations that ought to be guided by it. There is no God-given right to be wrong. Let’s flush the idea of “freedom” as enumerated by the ever-changing in meaning founding father’s documents and begin anew with authentic Catholic morality as our guide.

Allan Wafkowski just put it right! A Crusade that begins in our burning hearts and spreads to all of American society. Jesus was right, and so is His Church.

The feminist agenda as perpetuated by women like Gloria Feldt is a detriment to all modern women.  Today we find ourselves faced with less choices and those that we do have are never beneficial to women or their families. Women can NOT have it all…a career, a family and a happy marriage. Inevitably, they all suffer.  I applaud all SAHMs.  Too bad that society as a whole does not understand the importance of their roles. I was born in the 70’s and none of my peers (myself included)have been able to stay at home and raise their children, many of whom will likely see no problem placing their kids in daycare just like mom did. Most are now divorced too. The men of my generation were also brought up to believe that they should have a wife who brings home a paycheck equal or greater than his own and therefore, they do not value SAHMs and frequently will leave such women judging them to be lazy and not “pulling their weight” in the relationship. Thank you Gloria Steinem, et al.

I am a stay at home mom, was for most of my life…..I love it. I raised my own children, enjoyed every minute of it.  They r my kids i raise them. Every night they had a nutritious home cooked meal in a clean house with a real mom that picket them up from school and dropped them off.
We had decent clothes, furniture and cars….all within our means.
Would life have been easier if i worked, yes with money issues.  I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.
We lived within our means and made due with what we had.
Other than volunteer work I am still a stay at home mom and housewife and my kids are 26 and 31!!

FYI, Gloria Feldt began early marriage as a teen-ager in Texas, and it was a clergyman at the baby-sitting service who suggested that she do outside work to help her get into better circumstances.  Her work at and with Planned Parenthood has caused a great deal of harm to all members of our families.

I am glad to see so many women on board on how wrong femnists were, they spew out lies about choices.  The fact is you will have women in their forties wishing they had children younger because their career has left them empty of the gift of family. There are choices as I mentioned after your children are grown you can get a job, now more than ever women can educate themselves on line and still obtain a great job. That’s me I’m in my forties kids grown and for the last two years have gotten my skills needed in order to gain employment I have the best of both worlds, children,family and a loving husband.  Women don’t believe as one reader said this is true you can’t have it all it’s a lie and your correct also saying children are a full-time job, but their cute faces is worth it in the long run. God is there also I believe he is in the forefront in helping families, when you think you can’t afford all the material things needed for children sometimes their are those small blessings that come from God to help you.  You don’t have to have it all, just a little bit, and you will send happy children off in society, I feel so sorry for children that mothers feel they need something for themselves having a family really teaches you the art of selfishness..isn’t that most young children are about today. It stands to reason that moms are meant to be at home, if you look throughout history moms did work part-time in cases so what is being fed by feminism is a lie!

I have a job, thank you!  I’m raising children who (I hope and pray) will make a positive difference in our world.  Fortunately, our family can get by without me bringing in an income, but I work to make certain the money we have is properly managed so I won’t need to work outside the home.  It takes intelligence and creativity to fill all the roles an ‘at home’ mother has, so anyone who claims I’ve wasted my education and experience raising my kids can take a flying leap!

I think this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve read in a long time!!!! Motherhood IS our job.  A most important one at that!  We barely squeeze by and it’s stressful, but through God’s grace we make it!

She’s probably mad that she either doesn’t have children because nobody wants to be with someone like that (being however she is on her personal time, whatever that may be) and wants everyone else to feel bad for being happy. she needs to keep her rediculous comments to herself and mind her own business. that stereo type is rarely seen by me anywhere i go, and I personally as a 24 year old man don’t look down on women I think they have more drive at most things they do then men do actually. Kids aren’t easy to take care of and a job is normally less stressful over time then raising a kid. ( based on what I’ve seen with my brother and his little baby girl.) so you women that are stay at home moms, ignore what this witch says end you do what you know is right for you and your kids.

The last sting of a dying wasp! Feminism is dead. Now lets bury it quietly say after dark, and roll up our sleeves to undo the damage done by these foolish deluded women. The best way for a woman to serve her country is to be in the home to raise their children to become productive well adjusted members of society. The hardest job in the world needs our full commitment.

I spent a good portion of my kids’ life as a SAHD.  Wouldn’t change a thing!  What I find truly creepy is Miss (I hope she reads that)Feldt’s statement, “If we could see child-rearing as a necessary task and not an identity..”  So raising children is more like taking out the garbage or cleaning out the closet, balancing the check book or flossing one’s teeth?  Yikes!

Why is it that when I was a stay at home Mom, all the working Mom’s kids knew where to call when they were sick at school and the kids called me before they called their Moms at work?  Why is it that all the working Mom’s (and the grade, middle and high schools all knew my phone number), and asked me to care for their sick kids?  Why is it I was on about everybody’s permission list to take their kids from school? 

I was nearby, 9 minutes from the young schools, 15 from the high school,  and the working Moms were minimally an hours commute away, on a clear driving day. 

Why is is when a child was hurt and terrozized after being beat up on the bus,  it was ME who knew how to deal with the bus, the other kid,  and the school?

Why is it a few kids would take the bus and get off at my home, when they were supposed to go to their own empty homes, and none of their parents cared? Yes, I made them do their homework.  I even taught a few of them how to cook and bake. 

Why is it that dozens of kids, who are not physically mine call me Mom?  I have one, a son, and when he went away to college I was still getting calls, from Moms and schools.

You lack basic reading comprehension that is for sure. The quote never suggested that women do not have choice, but rather Feldt suggested that women being stay at home moms does hurt women going into the work force. If you want to be selfish and pretend that your children need you at home (they don’t “need” you at home 24/7, so you could get a life and let your kids grow up), go ahead. But don’t pretend that your actions only affect (not “impact”)you and your families is ridiculous.

Dear FOD,

So insulting someone’s intelligence is the best way to make your point?  So sad.

Jill took the words right out of my mouth - and I AM a baby boomer woman.  I have been disgusted with feminist self-centeredness for over 30 years.  THe initial mantra of “equal pay for equal work” very quickly gave way to “my body my choice” and has degenerated into nothing but meanness, selfishness, and actual hatred.

FOD, your logic is baffling. The choice to work or raise children is objectively a neutral act. The problem with Gloria Feldt’s frightening statement is that she assumes a righteousness of one preference over another that she has no right to assume. That’s putting it with the utmost charity. Are you really going to allow the opinion of a woman who spent her life promoting the killing of unborn children sway you???

Adam and Kate, thank you for your kind words - and all the comments here! It’s truly comforting to know that others feel this way too. “God, please strengthen us - may we be the salt and leaven of the earth through your words and actions. As, it’s not easy and rarely popular”:

“The Old School and the New - Those Days, of not Today”

In those days not many mothers with children were working outside the home.  My parents were raised from their parents this way and raised all us girls to accept the responsibility of motherhood as our first priority; it wasn’t a choice we were given, it was said to us   ... “.this is from God, it is a sacred duty”. These were the strict rules we learned to live by our parents.  When it came time for me to be the sole provider of my family, working outside the home came with tremendous strain from my upbringing and constant awareness of my priorities and responsibilities.  I do not think this was from any wrong upbringing, but today’s times have dramatically changed from the times of my parents’ upbringing and I didn’t fit into today’s society. 

Today, when both parents work, both parents share the responsibilities.  In the old school the mother was to take care of her children and her home, and if she decided or had to work outside the home she continued to take care of all her responsibilities at home.  This makes all the difference in the world for the parent and the child, as it seems by the old school, everyone’s at a loss while she’s away at work.  Most working mothers didn’t have the privilege of having the support of a partner as it is today, or the even the help of pre-school centers.  And the understanding my parents knew about the new school was foreign to them and new to me.  But I now see the way my parents taught me, may have been from the old school but was better for the whole family in the long run, and again a blessing in disguise; as keeping me aligned every time I may have wavered.

The uncomfortable feelings, strain, or guilt, in raising young children – while working outside the home – were the natural feelings that I believe were from God, bringing our awareness to our most sacred duties.  My mother would always tell us, if we felt this strain of separation, then our children feel it ‘even more’ at their most formative years of development, the most precious!  How did she know these things?

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” ~ Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.

  “Housewives [are] an endless array of ‘horse-leech’s’ daughters, crying Give! Give! — [a] parasite mate devouring even when she should most feed [and who has] the aspirations of an affectionate guinea pig.” ~ Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Women and Economics: A Study of the Economic Relations Between Men and Women as a Factor in Social Evolution, 1898.

  ” We must now say proudly and without any exaggeration that apart from Soviet Russia, there is not a country in the world where women enjoy full equality and where women are not placed in the humiliating position felt particularly in day-to-day family life. This is one of our first and most important tasks…. Housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do. It is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman…The building of socialism will begin only when we have achieved the complete equality of women and when we undertake the new work together with women who have been emancipated from that petty stultifying, unproductive work…. We are setting up model institutions, dining-rooms and nurseries, that will emancipate women from housework…. These institutions that liberate women from their position as household slaves are springing up where it is in any way possible.” ~ V.I. Lenin, The Task of the Working Women’s Movement in the Soviet Republic , 1919.

  ” The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor, to liberate them from ‘domestic slavery,’ to free them from their stupefying and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery. This struggle will be a long one, and it demands a radical reconstruction, both of social technique and of morale. But it will end in the complete triumph of Communism.” ~ V.I. Lenin, International Working Women’s Day Speech , 1920.

  “A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the [housewife’s] labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. [W]oman’s work within the home [is] not directly useful to society, produces nothing. [The housewife] is subordinate, secondary, parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949.

  “[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry…not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self…. [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” ~ Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.

  “[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” ~ Gloria Steinem, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.

  “[The husband’s work] provides for greater challenges and opportunities for growth than are available to his wife, [whose] horizons are inevitably limited by her relegation to domestic duties. [This] programs her for mediocrity and dulls her brain…. [Motherhood] can only be a temporary detour.” ~ Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill, Open Marriage: A New Lifestyle for Couples, 1972.

  “Women owe Frieden an incalculable debt for The Feminine Mystique…. Domesticity was not a satisfactory story of an intelligent woman’s life.” ~ Elizabeth Fox-Genovese, Feminism Is Not the Story of My Life, 1996.

  “Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.” ~ Vivian Gornick, University of Illinois, “The Daily Illini,” April 25, 1981.

  “[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” ~ Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.

  “[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed…. No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975.

  “Feminism was profoundly opposed to traditional conceptions of how families should be organized, [since] the very existence of full-time homemakers was incompatible with the women’s movement…. [I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young…. If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” ~ Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.

I don’t care for feminism’s ideal womanhood myself.

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/05/23/alice-walkers-daughter-exposes-the-cruel-narcissism-of-a-feminist-icon/

An interesting perspective on what it is like to be raised by one of these famous feminist ‘icons’.

We are supposed to go back to work, often some meaningless office job as we are not all trained in professions that ‘make a difference’, and leave our children with other people (who are paid a very low wage considering the responsiblity they are being given) to raise our children for us. So selling widgets or pushing paper is a more important contribution to ‘society’ than raising children? :boggles:

Neither do I, Katherine!

Most feminists just want to be men! I am glad i am a woman.  Men can open any door for me…

Maybe if women started being women again, men would start being men again.  Too many men are ok with letting women take over!!! Real women want a real man!!!
This is whats wrong with this country….AND this is why we have killed 52 million babies in the womb, up to nine months…for any reason.
Men take your manhood back please!!!!

War is a punishment for sin.  During the second world war women came into the workforce in unprecedented numbers to make up for the lack of manpower.  Many stayed after the end of the war preferring the material extras it would bring to caring for and increasing their families.  They bought into the lie that you weren’t worth anything unless you were producing materials and becoming like men.  Some women so bought into the lie that they feel it is their duty to indoctrinate others into accepting it at the cost of their natural desires, almost like a virus in the social order.  Satan never sleeps.

Nobody tells me that motherhood isn’t a vocation and a career more important than a 50-hour-a-week job in a cubicle.

I no longer care what feminists say.

Isn’t this the same lady who thinks women who go to prestigious institutions are duty-bound to work afterward?  The one who says that otherwise they have essentially “stolen” a spot that could have been better used by someone else?  The sentiments expressed above are right in line with her other opinions…

I spent 12 years of my life working with a bunch of so called “professional” adults who acted like children.  I am more than happy to be spending my time at home with my 3 kids theses days…. at least they are actually children who need my guidance!  I have come to believe that these women who consider themselves “feminists” are rather jealous of those of us who have found happiness in our lives.

The big promoter of women’s choice says women do not have a choice about working or staying at home.  Actually, she would not say a women has a choice about abortion either - get the abortion!

The most important job in the world: Catholic Priesthood, without which we have no Mass, no Sacraments.

Second: Motherhood.  Heart and Soul of family.  Fertile soil within which new souls are nurtured in Christ and the domestic Church flourishes.

Third: Fatherhood.  Ordained to headship of family.  Provider and protector of the domestic Church; which is to say, a servant of the heart and soul (mother) and the bountiful gifts of life (children).

Thanks to the poster above who included all the quotes from the deluded feminists.  Do you see how completely upside down they are (which is a dead giveaway to the diabolical influence over them)?

The menial work is not nurturing and raising new souls, and giving life and love to the domestic Church which is the family.  Not at all.  That ultimately is the POINT of it all.  The lesser of domestic work is providing the worldly necessities which, while important, will ultimately fade to dust. 

Man builds the house, stocks it with necessities, protects it.  That is our mission.  Woman gives it LIFE.  That is her mission.

The stinking devil hates woman most of all.  He hates what they are and what they can do.  He hates their wombs which are tabernacles of new life.  That’s why he started in on Eve.  That’s why he deceives women into shutting down who they are and what they can do.  He’s a liar and a murderer.

Pray for women that they resist the persecution and pressure to not be what our Lord made them to be.  And pray for us men that we wake up and reclaim what is ours, and execute headship with deep humility, love, and sacrifice, in imitation of our Divine Savior.

I love being a SAHM- sitting around eating bon-bons all day, watching soap operas…

Gloria Feldt makes her point…. Now let me suggest why she is oh so wrong…Has she heard the high statistics concerning un-employment? How are these families without jobs managing to survive? It is in many instances through entitlement programs covered by the tax-paying public. In fact taxes take such a bite out of many family incomes that mothers are FORCED to work outside the home to help pay for these entitlement programs.
Now, would it not be more sensible for women to release these jobs so more families could have at least one parent working ( the job market would be loosened up)monies could be saved instead of paying for outside daycare and children could be assured that they were of value by the fact their own mothers nutured them at least for the first five years of their lives.The experiment she suggest has already been tried ...and not many are still buying into the radical feminisim of the latter days of the past century. Still some ideas die slowly…and some proponents hang on to the dying end! It is time for the Gloria Feldts to give it up…and let real women make their voices heard. Children are a blessing and the time it takes to raise them is quickly gone. You have one chance and you can’t risk your children’s lives to someone else’s zaney experiments! Not if
you take parenting seriously. It is a full time job and important to society that we do it well. Someone has said you can give your child only two things, roots and wings.
It takes two parents resources to provide both….the caring and nuturing of a full time mom..and the financial security provided by a full time dad! A society that does not recognize the importance of the family as its most important component is a society that will fail ultimately. Gloria Feldt is ringing a bell that few are listening to anymore. Slowly this country is waking up…and getting back on the road to sanity. We are demanding that this become a country once more that recognizes the importance of family and family life. Our very survival as a nation depends upon it.

Privilege…

With twenty-three years between my two children and how I raised them brought much light to me to the differences between being a stay-at-home or working mom.  I learned from the experiences from a single mom working with no partner or outside help raising a child, and the privilege of being a parent with help and support of a spouse whose concerns are the same as mine.  And the difference is huge in comparison and why I longed in my heart to share and bring some understanding and compassion for those who are parenting alone, or even to those who are parents but who feel alone raising the children while our partners are not available because of circumstances that are beyond us.

        Among many, many, moments of the wondrous joy of parenting I feel today, it has brought my mind back to the many hardships, strain and guilt that have been endured for the child and the parent without any support.  And it does make all the difference in the world for the parent and the child.  Yet my heart still aches with compassion; that I might help heal the hurt, pain and the wounds of those with no other support to help raise our children.  And that I hope I would bring words of comfort, healing and support to hold on to your faith and your greatest dreams… for the parent and the children. 

Pre-School

The world does not honor parents for their roles in life as much as the world honors a glorious profession, and probably why many parents are looking for another way to serve.  This too is the loving essence of the love that is in us, that is constantly expanding itself. But through human conditioning we were losing our true foundation in honoring the motherhood that sustains life, by believing the role of motherhood was less than some glorious profession.  I remember reading the letters written from the Blessed Mother appearing in Medugorje some years ago.  She cried for our children.  She said that the children in the middle and upper incomes families were more in need of love and care than the lower income families, even though the lower income families didn’t have a home, and their children lived on cold cement floors; they stayed warm, secure and comforted by the parent that was holding them close to their heart.  While the middle and upper income children were away from their parents being raised and educated by others, and the most important foundation was missing, their source of love and the nurturing of the parent or guardian.  Then, we didn’t see this would effect our children, because we parents were conditioned by the world to believe education alone was a first priority and in the child’s best interest to get anywhere in life.  When I read that, I cried too, from conditioning from the world.  And I heard my mother’s words once again.
“When are we going to believe Our Blessed Mother”

I have done both…was a stay at home mom and then wore the business suit when my surprise child came along.  I urge women to be stay at home mom’s.  When kids are old enough for school, work, but be home with them when they get off the school bus.  Then there is the summer vacation…a child left alone is a house on fire…both are destroyed.  Wake up people - big houses and luxury cars are not what life is all about!  Life is people and how we love and care for each other. I recently hung up my business suit and now care for my elderly mother. Caregiving never ends. Who you give care to and for, does. YOU NEVER GET BACK TIME!

In response to Donna’s comment about the risk of no-fault-divorce:

In our society, unforunately, that is a very big risk, but it doesn’t have to be.  If a couple truly believes in the sanctity and indisolvability of marriage, then there is no such thing as divorce, no matter what the law says. 

If you work together as a team to support AND raise your family, you can break down the tasks according to each of your own strengths, whatever those may be.

@Bobby’s Pen…Thank you for fewer words with abundant power that is truly felt from the heart.

God Bless us all!

Catherine Nagle

Loved this quote: “child rearing is a necessary task and not an identity”...so our identity is to be wage-earners? careerists? No longer can we say, “I do this, but it is not who I am”. We are 21st century career women who put aside the necessary and menial task of raising children and walk boldly forward to the most rewarding task of climbing the corporate ladder. If what is most natural (organic, if you will) to a womam (i.e. giving birth to and raising children)is considered something harmful to her identity then it is true that feminism is “anti-feminine”.

Women need to listen to their inner selves..their own hearts and minds…and to ignore all the exterior “noise” like this ultra-feminist
Gloria Feldt! NYT has pages and pages of newsprint to fill and will do so with anyone with an “idea” to sell ...and the time to rant! No one, I repeat, NO ONE, has the right to tell me what I know in my inner heart is the way for me to fulfill my destiny. And shame on me if I can’t recognize a “con” job from the real thing! If you think some article in the NYT is
the way to your fulfillment then you have forgotten some very important and basic things about life and human nature.

Real feminists recognize women biologically and spiritually as God made with a godly purpose. 

Feminists for Life dot org is a great organization of women who are pro-woman and pro-life.  Google them and you can download free banners and things.

Thanks Theresa for the suggested web-site. Will definitely give it a try!Strong Christian women have no need for the message of Gloria Feldt…we
hear the voice of God in our hearts…and its powerful, graced-filled words.lead us forward. God bless all families and strengthen them through the raising up of strong Christian women!

A true Catholic mother is one of the most wonderful gifts Our Lord has given the human race. And we, husbands, must defend them, wholeheartedly and without any reservations, with our prayers, ink, hearts, love, and lives.

>Posted by Minnie on Thursday, Oct 7, 2010 12:01 PM (EST):Donna, my heart >goes out to you. It sounds like you married a very selfish person. :(

>I disagree though—the solution isn’t to get a job as some sort of >insurance against an inevitable divorce.  The solution is to marry >wisely and invest time and energy into sustaining that marriage.

Thanks for the concern, but it did not happen to me directly. I was merely the daughter watching my parents in a similar scenario. Seeing your mother suddenly scared to death because the man she loved and trusted to take care of her left her high and dry kinda sours you on trusting anyone. Heck, I have a terrible time trusting God, let alone human beings !

Thank you, Matthew!  Well put!  (My eight stay-at-home kids thank you, too.)

Oh cry me a river - Are we to take this lady seriously??? Come on!!! In other words it is not right for me to “choose” to stay at home and raise my own child according to my own standards, and morals?

“Make justice your aim: redress the wronged, hear the orphans plea, defend the widow” 

My father completely lost the will to live after Mom passed. He could not do anything for himself or anyone else from his grieving so deeply. There were five children still living at home before mom died.  Their ages spanned from sixteen to twenty-two. Counting Dad, myself, and my five-year-old daughter, we were a family of eight.  Every one of us was grieving, me for the loss of my husband now compounded by the loss of my mother.  My younger sister and brothers who were still living at home were in great sorrow with the loss of the mother they had so depended on.  And my dear father was dealing with the loss of his life-long partner that he adored.  It was complete chaos!  Nothing was right without Mom.  She was the one who always brought the light to everything.  Mom was the living God to all of us. And those family members who were still living under the same roof with Mom would feel the loss much deeper than the others; which brought me to search further for the cause of their fall and the difficulty to stand on their own.

        I soon learned the true meaning of an orphan and the widow.  And the effect on my younger sister and brothers’ dependency on Mom, (those who were still living at home), from those who were married and had a family of their own; and the understanding that they couldn’t possibly know, or feel and truly understand the lost souls, until they had gone through these things themselves.  And if I were not one amongst them now, I would have been blind to what a true widow and orphan is…

        Through years of prayer and searching the scriptures for God’s wisdom in how to live, these are some of the things I found to be helpful and true for my daughter and myself, and my young sister and brothers; when we became the widow and the orphans.  One of the first things I searched for was the definition of a widow and an orphan…. And I learned that they both have similar meanings.  Widow:  deprived of something greater or valued, needed. Orphan:  one deprived by death of one or both parents; one deprived of some protection or advantage.  This made sense to me when everything else didn’t make any sense at all, when I read the scripture: Take care of the widows and the orphans….. I tried my best to live them.

        During my journey, when the hardships and sorrows that were in me – that I thought were coming from others – I prayerfully searched for answers.  I was lost in how to overcoming them, (thinking they were separate at this time).  I would look to some of my family and my friends to see how they were able to rise above these separated feelings of loss, that I was having a very difficult time with.  They seemed to come through difficulties more easily; either by their busy lives or distancing themselves from others that would bring their spirits down.  But I realize now that they were still grounded in some sense of a foundation; by having a spouse, a home, or some family member of their own, and that they couldn’t actually feel as a lost soul as the separated ones; “the widows and the orphans.”  I was feeling more of a strain not to separate myself from those siblings that I saw lost, struggling, and calling out for help, but to aid in any way with compassion or helpfulness that I possibly could.  Maybe, because I could relate to them; feeling separated from a foundation myself, and I didn’t want my siblings to feel this separation from me that could possibly separate them even more of some foundation of love and justice!  Even though I was in the same position as they were of lack in one way or another. 

But for some mysterious reason, I found deep within me the call and the need to help those in any way that I possibly could feel natural.  And I noticed my heart, mind, and spirit was soothed, and I could feel the joy in me slightly returning and the separated feeling slightly going away and feeling more grounded.  Where before, I seemed to be somewhat more at a loss before attending to the orphan’s and widow’s cry.  I noticed it was more natural doing these things with results in healing, without faltering by the sorrow by staying compassionate and helpful to others.  And I have noticed those who seemed not to be as moved through great sorrow, had some foundation without the greater need in taking the responsibility of the lost ones; eventually come to find sorrow appearing again in other places and things.  Perhaps, through relationships that were closer to home, they could feel the lost or separated feeling in their heart; now that they were acquainted with being a soul on their own.

As it truly seems from my personal experience, the grief and sorrows that are in front of us are our challenges. And we all come to know sooner or later as the one true justice to transforming the difficulties and great sorrows through having compassion, we can transform our own.  And we will not recognize our true power of compassion as the natural gift from God as true justice that is given to us, until we are first truly compassionate with others.  And possibly, not have to come to such great tragedies or catastrophes before we open our heart with true love, the way God intended. 

The only differences I have learned are that the orphans and widows have been acquainted with loss and the separated feeling sooner…And that we all come to know ourselves sooner or later a lost soul as the widow or an orphan, before we depend on God.

PS- I truly hope that you will understand that I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to place some of my writings here. This is so close to home!

These “feminists” are destroying the true female pride with their peer pressure towards moneymaking as a priority. How sick. It is materialistic and an incorrect judgment of self-worth. Money won’t solve the world’s problems: compassion does far more, and there’s no more compassionate individual than a Mom.

When I headed off to college in the fall of 1975, women’s rights were understood to mean that we could go to college and pursue a career, if we wanted, or we could get married and have children and stay home to care for our families, or we could combine the two.  I went on to law school when the women were still far outnumbered by the men, and I helped blaze some trails for the women who came along after me.  Then, after 20 years in the workforce, I quit and went home to finish raising my son, because I was tired of someone else raising him.  I am now horrified that “feminism” is now equated with an obligation to pursue a career.  Once again, something that began with good intentions has been subverted to the misguided cause of radicals.

Friday, 4/30/10, was my last day of work in corporate America. I escaped the “working mom hamster wheel” during a time when jobs are scarce and the economy is in the tank. I took a huge risk and I don’t have any idea how things will turn out. I have my foot on the pedal, my arms braced on the wheel and a lump in my throat as I headed quickly and almost blindly towards my goal. My decision to leave my job wasn’t money-based. Our family income will drop by 60%, but I have other plans than making money. I have other values than how to amass more things.

I have been working since I was thirteen.  I grew up going to parochial school, acutely aware how much money my family did not have compared to my class mates.  Early on, I worked cleaning houses and baby-sitting, so I could buy school books, a prom dress, and a car, things many of my friends took for granted. After struggling a few years to put myself through college, I joined the U.S. Army for the G.I. Bill and the Army College Fund.

In 1992, I finally graduated cum laude and like so many women in my generation, started climbing the career ladder. However, China changed everything.  In 2004, after years of infertility, “that small, quiet voice”, lead my husband and me on a journey to parenthood. We began the long arduous process of adopting a baby girl from China. In February 2006, we traveled in Guangzhou, China with nine other families to pick up our daughters.  In April 2010, after 15 months of waiting, we adopted our second daughter through a domestic relative adoption.

Over the past year, I have come to the realization that I have not placed “first things first in my life,” to quote Stephen R. Covey.

My family has taken a distant second place to my career.  This fact really came into focus when I had accomplished over 90% of my professional goals but none of my family goals for 2009.

You may say, “Are you crazy, quitting your job in this economy?”  Maybe you are right.  However, I have realized that I could have more money or more time, but not both, so I have chosen “time.”

Mary…you have put your faith in action…God will bless you for this in ways you now cannot imagine. You are a woman of strength ( you history attests to this)and capable of meeting whatever challenges that may come your way! You have placed yourself and your family in the hands of the Lord
who will not be outdone by your spirit of generosity! Lean on Him whose grace is sufficient for the moment. God go with you!

Excuse me, but my mother stayed at home with my brother and I for 22 years before she went back to work.  After all, it was the 60s and 70s and we had home made-made from scratch-spaghetti sauce.  Real pot roast (pre-frozen dinner era) with all the veges…on a week day with plenty of leftovers for at least three more nights.

Ladies, if you absolutely MUST be part of the workforce (by choice, not by necessity), then let the men-folk stay home and be “Mr. Mom”.  After all, that’s fair game.

@ Kim, Mary and all, Thank you very much for sharing your amazing stories. I truly believe that these are the kind of stories that the generation of today NEEDS TO HEAR MORE to make this shift happen and see the Blessed Mother wipe the tears from the children’s eyes.

I am a stay at home dad and I feel terrible for what the feminist movement has done to our stay at home moms. They have convinced women that they are missing out on something in the work world. NEWSFLASH: it’s not the party that they told you it was. Men have always had to deal with politics, demanding bosses etc. and it is only getting worse. Work is very rarely fun anymore unless, maybe, if you are the boss. Of course Lucifer has done well.  He knew once women got out there they would quickly realize it was all a lie. So, he came up with political correctness.  How many employers do you know hire qualified women over qualified men out of fear of political backlash? How many employers tip toe around female employees for fear of offending them in some way? That’s right, many have no idea what could offend them but they don’t want to take any chances. If you ask me, who has played both roles, stay at home parents have it made! Is it hard, yes! But there are no politics, no sucking up, you are actually helping someone who truly needs it and the feeling you get when your child smiles back at you is indescribable. I don’t get a weekly paycheck, but so what! My wife and I actually talk and decide how money in general should be spent.  It’s not her money, it’s our money! Stop buying into the Satanic rouse! Kids thrive when one of the parents stays home! And the mom should be the one. Not because she is less of a human being (which mankind decided NOT Our Father or the church) because there is something beautiful about the bond between mother and child. Watching my wife interact with the kids is amazing! Her instincts, the way she just “knows” what they need is awesome. And the whole argument about how it isn’t possible to have a parent at home because life is too expensive is not always true. My wife makes a good living but if we lived as we COULD live we would never be able to have a parent at home. So, in the best interest of our children we decided to stay in our three bedroom ranch, deny ourselves some pleasures so we can insure our kids a safe and healthy environment.  We have what we need and ya know what? WE’RE HAPPY! Turn off the TV, stop listening to the experts, stop buying into advertising and the media who push sex and money as equaling happiness AND WORK IT OUT TOGETHER! Money=stuff and that’s all! True happiness comes from Our Lord and Savior and only that which he can give us! I wish I could work because I know my wife would love to be home with our children but because of the poor choices I have made in the past, it is best that she works and I stay home. FINE! My kids are my world and if I have to give up a career full of ego, politics and corporate BS to give them a chance at a good life then sign me up! Why should they pay for the sins of their Father. God bless our stay at home parents. I know it is not possible for everyone but I urge you to take a good look at your financial state and if you can have a parent home, mom or dad, DO IT! With all the horror stories you hear about day care why put your child in potential danger when you may not have to? And remember this, God loved us, his CHILDREN, so much that he sent his only begotten son and look at the gratitude he received. It maybe a thankless job as far as mankind goes but last I checked mankind with all it has DOES NOT hold the keys to the kingdom which is true love and true happiness! May God have mercy on all our souls!

Katherine McDuffee.. you just into lies, I like my house clean sorry I actually enjoy cooking cleaning and loving my children and taking care of the most special man in my life that gives us unconditional love, understanding, compassion, I hope to go to work when children have had enough love and care and my husband will be there to support me , right now the kids need me and my husband.

Justine McFadden,

I’m sorry if I was unclear. My intent in posting those quotes was to further demonstrate radical feminism’s contempt for homemakers. I myself am a joyful wife and mother, of three kids under four with more to come I hope. I have a wonderful hardworking husband who is committed to providing for our needs as a family. God has blessed me with the ability to stay home and devote myself to the vocation of motherhood. I praise Him every day for it.

I’m sorry I didn’t write more at the time, but I was and am nursing while typing which is always a bit of a trick.

God Bless

I’m sorry I didn’t write clearer why I posted “Widows and Orphans” along with this thread. It’s because I truly felt that my younger siblings ( even though they were between the ages of 16-22 years old) were truly lost souls without mom that I can only imagine this confussion for some of the even ‘younger’ children who spend most of the day away from their parents. Had I not witnessed this myself. I might have never known such sorrow it is without a Mother at home..waiting.

God gave us our children to take care of them not for us to send them to some other person for them to teach them their veiws. Its the moms job (and dads job when time allows).

I am a huge believer in the importance of closeness to mother, especially the first several years of life.

However do you all really believe that women must “stay home” in order to be God-fearing women and good moms? Women have worked throughout time and grandparents were often charged with watching the children (for instance during harvest etc.) Families also used to be a lot less isolated. Look at the Godly woman of Psalms….she raised her children and cared for the household….but she also made money.

We don’t need to mandate that mothers stay at home in order to be good moms (not that its a bad thing…I love stay at home mommies!)...we need to find more solutions for families struggling to keep mom near her young children while simultaneously trying to earn more income to keep afloat.

What Gloria Feldt said was absolutely terrible….but it drives me crazy when people imply that you are only a good mom if you stay home.

Claire,

On the other hand Gloria Feldt seems to think that if you stay home and raise your kids you are a bad ‘woman’!

Now I do understand that there are a lot of women that work out of financial necessity but I’d say that women that get a job just to get out of being a mom are the ones “Opting out”, opting out of motherhood.

My son used to BEG me stay home like his Grandma and aunt did.  My mom and my sister.  He didn’t understand that, as a single mom, I had to work and even then I couldn’t support us and ended up moving back in with my parents, for my son’s sake.  After an extended illness, I decided to stay at home and try to make my art business pay for itself, and us. 

Being at home with my son was the happiest time of my life.

I am curious: in our current economic climate, would Gloria Feldt really say that women whose families are successfully living on a single income should really re-join the workforce and then risk “stealing” the job of an individual or family who really *needed* that salary?  Since we are speaking about the overall good of society, I mean…

@ Claire I can see your valuable point you made here. But sadly, there are many married/single parents that don’t have the privelege of a grandparent or even a sibling etc. to help with their young children.

We tend to look upon other families and think that some are better off than others; when actually things are not always what they seem to be.  The families in poverty, difficulties, or with some sort of physical disabilities are sometimes no different than those families of divorce, separation, alcohol, drug dependance, etc.-  But are not considered impoverished or a disability to most people. When in a true sense there is not much of a difference.     

Actually, many of the families that have physical disabilities or difficulties are more accepted in our society and ‘excused’ for not meeting certain requirements and are usually ‘supported’ in keeping them sustained – Most of them seem to find an acceptance in life with workable solutions and a brighter outlook that the world is indeed a precious loving place to live in. Thank God.

Whereas there are many affluent families that come from divorce, separation, alcohol, drug addition, etc. and are looked upon as having every resource financially but are not considered impoverished, but are truly at the same threshold as some of those in poverty and disabilities, (if not more) – Because they are sometimes covered over, leaving them lost and alone in a world without any resources or acceptance at all.  I think.

Perhaps, if we look at every circumstance ‘regardless’, we will not only find whatever resource, finances, skills, or talents, for the appropriate action we need to take - We come to see poverty and the affluent no differently - As, it is through our good feelings of well- being (Christ love) that brings the spirit of God through us that our journey is rich. 

I think that the letter from Our Blessed Mother clearly reveals the vital importance in beginning our life journey.  Take a minute and think about the euphoria you feel when you experience this precious feeling of well- being (Christ love)when another loved one is there watching over you?  Then, how much more can this bring to every one child?  To our world?  And sustain our children with His promise of tomorrow.

Reason #3,421,654 why I am NOT a Feminist…..

Don’t you love how a small cadre of Marxist-feminist New York loudmouths operate under the delusion - a delusion fed by academia and the media - that they possess an all-seeing and overarching awareness of what is good for *all* women nationwide, and what *all* women ought to do, choose, aspire to? And that it is for them to promulgate edicts to U.S. women about how they ought to live and raise their families?

Just think about that! Where in the h*ll do these people get off?

What arrogance! What chutzpah! They ought to be laughed at, not argued with. 

The tragedy is that these purveyors of the Culture of Death have us all trained to regard them as “experts” to be taken seriously; although we disagree with them, we treat them as serious and significant spokespersons.

They are not serious or significant spokespersons. They are ignorant, insignificant, arrogant loudmouths, and ought to be told that that’s exactly what they are. And have it repeated as necessary, for all time, if necessary.

There are many factors in today’s world that either allow a mom to raise her children 24/7.. or not! Since we are not always privileged to know about those circumstances that send a woman into the workplace and delegate her parental responsibilites for a time to others let us not be too quick to judge! Many women would prefer to be at home 24/7…for others it is a huge sacrifice they may not be able to make…for good reasons. Since this is a difficult world to be a parent today ( man or woman ) let’s try to be supportive to all, those who must spend some part of each day/week in the workforce as well as those who have managed the ideal to stay home. I think children can thrive in either situation given the basics they need and assurance they are wanted and loved! We need to be less judgmental and more compassionate to all. Not every child is going to be “marked for life” if Mom NEEDS to work…nor is every child with a stay at home Mom going to never fail. Malice towards none and charity toward all should be taught and practiced by everyone…whatever the circumstances. There are studies that support either situation and a God who provides always to everyone the graces they need to live their lives according to His Will. Judge not!!!

Sure, sure, Shamrock. Let us not judge whether Moms need to work or stay at home. Let us not point the finger at one another.

But that’s not what the original post was about was it? Loudmouth Leftist Feldt points the finger at Stay at home Moms, and wants others to do the same.

After all, Shamrock, Gloria Feldt knows what is best and is going to inform each and every one of us, that when even a significant number of women choose to remain at home with their children, they set the women’s movement back decades. The women’s movement that, you know, rejects the traditional view of marriage and embraces the Culture of Death.

Shamrock, me darlint, after reading what Busy-body Loudmouth Feldt has to say, I would proclaim that every mother who swings herself into gear to do whatever it takes to stay home if she can (or even to work only part-time or only from home) is probably helping in her way to deal a body-blow to the Culture of Death as well as to ignorant loudmouths who dare to proclaim that they know what is best for women across this land of ours.

Of course, there are lots of other wasy to deal blows to the Culture of Death. Moms who need to work full-time can kick *ss at that, too.

Let not Christian men and women set to squabbling among themselves, nor to pointing the finger at one another. That’s just what Feldt’s master - the Prince of Lies - wants.

Feldt is not a spokesperson for anyone we want to listen to. (Unless you appreciate the aroma of sulphur and brimstone.)

A Christian is not commanded to “kick ass” as you so delicately phrase it!
But rather to follow the path of charity…at all times..and in all circumstances..even when attempting to “correct” the wrongs of another person. All I was saying (and nowhere in what I said was approval of
Ms Feldt’s opinion)is we never know for sure what the circumstances are that send a woman into the workplace (e.g.no support from spouse either due to death or divorce)and we should not condemn all working mothers. To be able to be with her child 24/7 may not be possible for some women but she does not stop being a mother during those hours.. she is working at a job to keep her family fed, clothed and housed. That is being a responsible parent as much as the mother at home 24/7. All moms work…at home and also for some the public work place. Let’s support one another instead of adopting the attitude (which Ms Feldt appears to be doing)my
way or the highway! Coping with the circumstances may be all SOME can do.
The ideal of a stay-at-home mom may be justifiably out of reach for all.
And who are we to judge them! There are no guarantees in this life for
stay at homes anymore than for those who need to work outside. Can you
imagine a scenario such as follows: Oh dear, I read in the paper today
that litte Edward that used to live down the street (now grown up)was
caught robbing a bank today! And to think his Mother was always at home
with him!!! Children need assurance and love more than anything. I think
that can be accomplished by any Mom who values this…even when she is
compelled by circumstances to be employed outside the home. God provides for those who turn to Him in their need. Again,Marion, judge not that you not be judged! None of us is perfect and we all need compassion ...as well as His Mercy. In terms you might better understand…People who live in glass houses should not throw stones! ( see the gospel story about the woman caught in adultry….“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”)

Because I went thru being a single Mom and having to work, I understand how hard it is. Even for married folks, if trouble strikes.

With the advent of many single child families, help from a blood relative becomes more and more remote possibility.

My husband and I volunteered to help a young mother, for whom I’d been birth coach,  whose 19 day old baby was taken away from her. This happened because in our Michigan county, if a girl gives up a baby for adoption within 4 years of having another baby, DSS automatically steps in, takes the baby and determines if she’ll be a fit mother for the baby, and any subsequent babies.

During the first baby’s circumstances the girl was a teenager with no parental support.  This time she was married to a man who’d worked in the same job for over 30 years, living a stable life. All the same they took her baby girl and were going to put the baby into the fostercare system, at significant monetary cost to her and the father,  unless a family member would take the baby in. 

No family member could as they were all elderly and/or handicapped, so we volunteered. We were given the legal title of Fictive Kin, in the documents. We have no blood ties to either mother or father,  but we were suddenly in the role of substitute parents for her, and grandparents to the baby.  During months of legal dancing,  and the state appointed 3 different lawyers for the mother, baby and the father,  it was determined that the baby should never have been removed from her parents.

We remain as Granny-nanny and Papa,  and I was birth coach to her next baby too.  Because we are still in their lives,  the next baby was not taken from them and they weren’t put through the whole process over again.

Adopting a family is the same as having a child of your own, all grown up.  We have our moments for sure. But love as Jesus means it to be is there to be given and gotten. 

When my own blood son couldn’t make it across the state in time to advocate for me in a hospital question when my husband was too distraught to deal with it,  our adopted daughter w son-in-law were able to be there.

Also if you notice Hollywood is not welcoming in portraying a women that stays at home and LOVES her children, rather we have women being in love with sex. Sex in the City..it’s negative in the fact that women are doing what men did but it justifies that they are not nurturing women. If Hollywood and Television for that matter suddenly made a TV show a series depicting a women that actually loves being a mom the feminists would turn on them and probally force the show to end. Saying it was sexist, which of course it isnt. So it’s up to television and the media to reiforce good family values on how positive a womens role as a nuture is it is just the natural insinct of a women to love and nurture her family.
God Bles..

Theresa…God bless you, your husband and family.Together you ae all living out the Gospel message! Thanks for sharing your story! ( that sounds like a “dangerous” county to live in for young families! Good
intentions often go awry….especially in our legal systems!)

The Church Militant is an old-fashioned term, Shamrock, and it means what Catholic living on the Earth are called to be “Church Warriors.” And those of us called by God to be warriors are indeed called to kick ass - first our own, then those of the enemies of God. Not by killing anyone, but by defending the Church against them. The judging we are *forbidden* to do is that of attempting to usurp God’s sovereign disposition on another soul. The judgement we are *commanded* to do is to weigh and measure the words and actions of our own, and of those we come across, with a view to knowing whether they accord with Christ’s commands. We do this with our own words and actions with our nightly examen, in which we examine our own consciences. We are also called to weigh others’ words and actions against Christ; if they do not comport, we should not listen; we should move on; or we should reply, depending on the circumstances.

As to any given mother working outside the home or staying home, none of us is in a position to pretend to judge whether her actions comport with the Church’s teachings on this since the Church has only indicated that mothers ought to make an effort to be at home if circumstances allow. That leaves the final decision completely up to the woman; the rest is not our business, and it is certainly not the business of some Loud Mouth in New York who wants to stand up and trumpet forth her judgements on what the women of the United States should be doing.

If you don’t want to evaluate the public pronouncements of spokesperson for the Culture of Death in light of Christ, Shamrock, and if you don’t care to respond forcefully to attacks on the Catholic faith, then don’t. By all means, stay comfy, if that’s what the Christian life means to you. Knock yourself out! Er, I guess that’s not right . . .  I mean, put yourself to sleep.

Stopped working - And trying my best to make it work:

When I stopped working outside the home and was dependent on my husband’s salary, I realized that I needed to do things differently now.  I was given no more than enough money to take care of those needs in my own family.  But to do more for others outside my immediate family, as to meet their wants that were truly in need, would mean to share in a way that didn’t take away from us, but share what we had.  And coming from such an unusually large family, there was always someone in need of something, which I continued to pray and find a way to share.  I respected the single income was coming only from my husband. I was grateful and very familiar with being the sole provider in taking care of a family, as not to take advantage of him.  I found ways to give while we continued to have nice things for ourselves.  And by this time, I was in the position to afford an expensive outfit for myself, but instead, (as I learned the true meaning of giving many years ago from a lecture I heard on a Christian radio station in, “how to truly share?”) that was similar to my story here: 

          Instead of buying the expensive outfit for myself, I used my time and money to buy a couple of outfits for those in my family less fortunate, rather than focusing on what I wanted for myself.  And the miracle was, I ended up with the expensive outfit that I wanted in the first place that was on sale for more than half off!  My husband would say to me, “How is that a bargain when you ended up paying the same amount for it, as if it weren’t on sale!”  But his kind heart knew these things of sharing were of greater importance to me.  The same with elaborate vacations, I declined some, so as to help a family member who was without any way or means of vacationing, by sharing vacation time with them at our home that had an in-ground swimming pool.  My time was now available to do these things and take care of my own responsibilities. 

I continued to help my husband in our home office by doing the clerical work for the growing company he worked for, or cook some wonderful dinners, or give my cosmetology services, or was able to give home furnishings at a lesser cost to those who couldn’t afford them, due to my husband and the courtesy of the company – without taking away from my husband or anyone, but adding to his life and those that I possibly could.  I started to see that besides feeling the richness that life is good in sharing, the simple abundance increased even more.  I was no longer working outside the home, and I used every talent I had in the service that God would have me, by extending myself to bring those who were without, some joy in one way or another.  I was aware of everything going on around me now that I was home.  And I found this is the way that makes a family; the love and service that holds the family and the world together, to grow in joy while working at home when a husband is busy or out of town at work - There’s someone looking after those most important matters, regardless!  And the greatest reward is that we get to re-live them again and again as a joy and clear conscience (that only God can give us) that no position in the world could ever match.

@ Justine, So True! It’s about time.

Marian…Please know in your last post I find nothing with which I object
re the Church militant! Please also re-read my previous posts. I nowhere and no how agree with the position taken by Gloria Feldt re the subject of mothers and working outside the home. I do think as members of the Church militant we not only need to defend the Church’s teaching but we are also commanded to proclaim truth to others in such a way we draw them in…not
turn them away. Choosing words carefully and wisely enters into that without being vulgar and vicious in tone and characterization. Perhaps we don’t disagree so much in substance as in style. Remember one catches more “flies” with honey than vinegar. Note
the style our current Pope uses when he is defending but also instructing others on the teachings of the Church. He is as much about style as substance. So should we! Because I have tried to address not only Ms Feldt
but also the uncharitible tone some commenters here have resorted to in making ALL women (mothers) who work outside the home as “delinquent"you accuse me in as “militant” a manner as you attack Ms Feldt. What have I said (other than above all we are to be charitible when we attempt to proclaim the Truth )that you find it necessary to take me “to task” and
accuse me of shirking my Christian duty…of preferring my “comfort” over
speaking to the Truth? Just because I don’t take a kick A** attitude? We
both have different styles…over which you and I apparently differ. So
what? This is just what makes Ms.Feldt’s day…dividing and setting us
up against each other. Do we really want to buy into that kind of “battle”?Sometimes I think some of the commenters here are more interested in showing us all they “know” their catechism than in actually responding to the article. Inpressive as knowledge may seem we need to be as much about charity…for some a little knowledge becomes a dangerous thing! The catechism is not meant to be used as a battle weapon with which we hit each other over the head but rather as a tool to teach and draw one another into the circle of the truth of Love. Be at peace within and you
will find it less necessary to “do battle” and more effective instructing others. You and I are on the same team…let’s shoot for the same goals.
and not at each other!

Look, Shamrock, we are on the same team, and I realize you haven’t been defending Culture of Death spokesperson Feldt, nor attacking mothers who work outside or stay home.

But what you have done on this thread several times, is to wrongly and inappropriately attempt to correct me for using strong language and for advocating a militant attitude. I repeat: the employment of strong language and a militant attitude on the part of Christians toward the Culture of Death can be, when used at the right times, and in response to the right situations, not only perfectly appropriate, but imperative, such that to do any less would be a dereliction of duty.

Yes, the Holy Father is a prince of the Church and speaks the language of scholarship and diplomacy. He is a brilliant and holy man. Ordinary Christians are called to be holy, too, however we do not speak the language of brilliant scholarship and diplomacy. We are the salt of the Earth. We call a spade a spade, and we “tell it like it is,” in the language of ordinary common folk everywhere.

No, we don’t resort to the verbal flinging of poo, nor to references to immoral practices, as they like to do on the antitheist sites. We don’t do that EVER.

Let’s part in peace: You may consider me a Christian who uses language you don’t approve of, and I will consider you a Christian who needs to get over herself and who needs to get out more.

Really?  Absolutely amazing!!!  I am eternally grateful I am able to be a stay at home mom.  To watch my children grow and share our values with them, not those of society…and certainly not those of planned parenthood.  They are a blessing in our lives, why would I want to hand them over to someone else to raise if we are able to live on one income.  Ladies, the worlds priorities are not ours.  Stay strong and be proud of the gift you are giving to your family.  Not going to lie to you, my job at home is many times more busy and challenging than my full work schedule before…but boy it is SOOOO much more rewarding and ETERNAL than my previous work days.  Blessings to you all!

Marion…The need to “stick the needle” one more time in me
as in ” get over yourself…and need to get out more”...what do those words really say to me and everyone who reads this blog. They simply support what I meant when I stated that if
one habitually uses harshness and rough verbiage to attempt evangelization
one is not likely to attain their goal….if that goal is to convince me the truth about Christianity. The Pope I think is about as good a living example of Christian charity as we have. Charity is not always about the “head” as much as it is about the “heart”! The suggestions I made
(you call corrections I believe) were made in the context of this article while you have “attacked” me personally. As you do not know me I consider that an unfair and un-Christian response to what I have said. We are allowed to challenge each other’s ideas..that is called dialogue. When we engage in personal attack…that is called a lack of charity. Sometimes in our attempts to be always right we forget that important facet of our faith. If you feel I have un-fairly “attacked ” you I am sorry…it was not my intent. Good intentions sometimes go awry in our attempts to communicate. Perhaps that is what happened here. Please accept my apology
if I offended you.

General Note to Readers-at-large:
Saint Josemaria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, spoke of “the apostolate of strong language” being sometimes just what is needed to get through to someone whom we wish to win for Christ. It can also be just what is needed to describe the machinations of the Culture of Death, of which Gloria Feldt would appear to be a spokesperson.

Note to Shamrock:
If you object to the idea of using the “apostolate of strong language” in response to the Culture of Death, then I suggest you take it up with Saint Josemaria. I’m done. I wish you a good night and a good life.

Marion…Sorry you keep missing my point but I am done too! Best we both move on!

what planned parenthood and the like don’t understand is the concept of ‘vocation’. something like parenting and more specifically motherhood is a vocation, not a job. a vocation is what fills one’s life with grace, a job is what one does to pay the bills.

Marion,
Not sure precisely what you’ve meant about forceful language, but I’ll say this:
PLEASE refrain from implying profanity!

Regardless of the issue or which side your arguing, I have little willingness to listen to people cursing even a little.  Yes, I’ve used harsh language before myself..I’ve noticed that most people tune out VERY soon afterward.

God gave us minds to develop a thorough vocabulary, the better to be forceful, but articulate.  Let’s use those gifts, shall we?

I have sometimes wondered how it is that the Culture of Death has made such significant inroads so quickly in deconstructing the fabric of Christian civilization in the West.

How has it managed to succeed so quickly? What have Christians been doing all this time?

Comments such has yours, John, have been most illuminating in answering these question for me. Thank you very much.

The Culture of Death has ensnared many souls who fell for modernism replacing sound Christian teachings and values. Exchanging the real God with a replacement called Science, has opened the door for this madness to enter in. As for the “apostolate of strong language” it has to be interpreted correctly in order to be effective. One might consider this in the light of Lumen gentia 4: “..he is not saved,however,who,though part of the body of the Church, does not persevere in CHARITY(emphsis mine). He remains indeed in the bosom of the Church,but,as it were only in a “bodlily” manner and not “in his heart”. (12*)

The world wont be happy till we conform to it.. bottom line.
It’s nothing but socialism.
It’s becoming a crime for a woman to stay at home and raise her children but not for a perfectly healthy young man and his family to live off of welfare and food stamps because he is too lazy to get a hard working job.
THAT’S acceptable. But not a stay-at-home mother?
As far as I’m concerned.. these woman can shove it, for they have no idea how wrong they are.

Being a stay at home mother ia a full time job.Maybe you were raised by some one who came hone at 6:00 pm.Gave you a TV dinner,took a bath and went to bed without saying good night.I wish you luck with the rest of your life because you’re going to need it.

I don’t believe a woman SHOULD stay at home while the man is out working.  However, if this works for the mom and dad of a family, that is their choice.  To each their own.  But to be forced into one way or the other is rediculous.  Many families struggle and it is hard to make ends meet, so both parents need a job.  There is also the whole aspect of government aid programs (food stamps, government paid child care, gov. paid medical care, etc).  So if a family (either single parent or not) decides the mom (or dad) be a stay at home to be there for their children, yet can’t financially support the family- they can accept government assisitance instead.  When in fact they can be out working?  So while youre at home taking care of your children, all the rest of us are out working to pay the taxes that support YOUR children?  I personally have no respect for those type of parents.  If you can’t support your family, get a job.  However- if you still need help then by all means, accept government assistance.  Key word- assistance.  Assisting you, not 100% supporting you. 
The stay at home thing is somewhat a touchy subject.  While I do think it is good if one parent is able to stay at home while the other supports the family is a good thing, unfortunately with the economy- it is often not ideal.  Also, I think that women should be educated, should have work expereince.  Because you never know when you will need to join the work force.  Your husband/boyfriend may die or you may divorce/setperate, leaving one parent to “foot the bill” and in most cases, custody is awarded to the mother.  What is she to do in this instance?  If she has never had or needed a job, nor is educated beyond household duties?  Ironically enough, my mom was mostly a stay at home mom while my brother was growing up (she had a few part time jobs).  When I came along (my brother is 11 years older than I am), my mom was going to college and had a part time job then after she graduated, got a full time job working 40+ hours.  I didnt get as much “family time” with my mom, yet I graduated highschool young, and went on to college and dont have as much as a parking ticket on my record.  My brother on the other hand, barely finnished highschool, has been to a boys military style camp for “bad” kids and has many a run in with the law.  So, I dont really think that a stay at home mom means better raised children.  I have a LOT of respect for my mother for going out on her own and getting an education, while raising kids and graduating with honors and going on to achieve her goals and dreams.  Not because she HAD to do so, but because it is what she wanted to do.  And didnt have the “man of the house” telling her that her place was in the home cleaning and baking cookies and helping kids with homework.  Which by the way, she did all of these things as well!  Luckily, she had the support of the male figure of the household as well.  I believe the woman has the choice and between the man and woman, they should come to an agreement on what works best for their family and situation.

I don’t know why I would want to spend the money I would earn working on daycare for my child, when I could just stay home and do it myself.  For this woman to say these things it is just heinous, and self righteous.  Life isn’t all about economy, yes it takes money to survive, but what happened to family first?

This must come from a very jealous person whose spouse doesn’t make enough money for them to stay at home with their children to home school. Get over your jealousy and get on with your life. Best wishes!

I am a mother of four children (all boys) and I stay-at-home to homeschool.  I suppose by this article that I am the MOST SELFISH person on the Earth. That is fine by me and biblically speaking….....I am just doing my JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I gladly accept this job too.

I fully agree with this article!! And really, get over it. The whiney posts are disgusting

Years ago, when one of my husband’s coworkers found out I was a stay-at-home Mom, he said, “What is she, stupid?” I was a member of the honor society and graduated 18th in my high school class. I was a member of the honor society and graduated Summa Cum Laude from college. I was not stupid. To me, motherhood is the HIGHEST of all callings. In the workplace, I’m a replaceable cog. I’m irreplaceable at home.

To Shamrock: When you attempted to correct me for using strong language, I replied, you need to “get over yourself and get out more.” That was wrong of me to say. I shouldn’t have used an ad hominem to you. I apologize.

What I should have said to you and to others who attempted to correct me was: “I readily accept correction from wise and holy persons whom I know in the real world. I do not accept correction from strangers on the internet.” So, that’s all I should have said. Only just now thought of it.

I also don’t accept prognostications or speculations about the state of my Christian life from strangers on the internet either. Although, I may in real life, if they actually, you know, *know me.*

I don’t accept requests for money, stock quotes, deals on used cars, medical advice, or lots of other things from strangers on the internet. And most smart people pretty much operate along these lines, I think.

Marion, Shamrock,
To be honest with you, I’m not at all certain of what your intents might be.

Marion, I don’t pretend to know a huge lot about St Josemaria, so it’s always possible that this particular saint advocated using curse words now and then to make a point.  I don’t know.  I admittedly write with a sense of irony; I’ve cursed someone vigorously before too.  At times, it seems as though the only way to break through someone’s mindset is to curse them out briefly, get them riled up, then say something that forces them to think harder in spite of themselves.  I get that.

Then again, Shamrock, some of the comments you’ve provided….sound a good deal like the average..uh, wimpy(?)...bishop who won’t exercise his authority appropriately; there are times when diplomatic language won’t help.

Here’s my problem: I have met exceedingly few people who respond well to routine profanity.  Oh, someone may do as you ask or reconsider their position VERY briefly, but on the whole, you can figure that your argument is already AT LEAST half lost.

That means my main point must be this:  By all means be vigorous and forceful when needed, even be prepared to declare that “this is Truth and no deviations will work”.  At the same time, avoid profanity if at all possible.  You don’t need to issue a horde of long, academic-sounding words, but don’t lower your effort to vulgarity either.

ESPECIALLY on the internet, don’t use profanity unless you ABSOLUTELY must.

Otherwise, we can expect the Culture of Death to reign supreme.  When we speak obscenely, it’s already a clue that we’ve compromised our ideals.

Thank you, John, for sharing your opinion. I and I’m sure others here will take it under advisement.

For the record, I have a policy that I don’t accept correction or criticism from total strangers on the internet. Period.

Your mileage may vary.

Lol look at all you strong-willed, hard working stay at home moms.  Half of you can’t change a tire, close a sales deal, push back on a supplier, or cut the grass. Not to mention you all hate each other anyway. Idiots

” Then again, some of the comments you’ve provided sound like some of our
“wimpy” bishops who won’t exercise their authority appropriately”..

John.to which comments do you refer, please? that come across as wimpy?
To quote St Paul ...” If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels..but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal”....and in another place he reminds us to correct but always with charity. This is the Internet..but we are still bound by charity….at all costs! The “wimpy”
bishops to whom you refer?..They have heard from me in no un-certain terms also…but always with respect for the office. There is a time and place
for everything…but vulgarity, profanity never succeeds when proclaiming the Truth. Paul knew this..he could speak forcibly but nowhere is he quoted as using profanity, vulgarity to impart the good news. St. Jose Escriva has been mis-interpreted here…check it out on-line!

Marion,
I’m saddened to see your response.
I think most people respond on the internet roughly how they would in general life..or more poorly.
Sad to say, your overall demeanor strikes me as one that won’t accept correction or criticism from much of anyone, internet or otherwise.  Oddly, you don’t appear to have even considered anything that I wrote.  Why bother with providing comments on here if you won’t consider any other view?
I will hope I’m distinctly incorrect.

I understand getting angry, especially at what pinches nerves, but maybe a little restraint would be helpful?

I don’t know about others but for me, part of the reason I am a SAHM is because I can not afford childcare. All I would be doing is paying someone else to raise my kids. Why did I have kids then??? I have tried to juggle work and kids. It does not work for me, between school calling to pick them up because they are sick to the extra activities that want to do. Most moms would agree with me when I say the schools call “mom” first.  If I worked outside the home who would take my son to football or my daughter to girlscouts. Not to mention there are no real 9-5 jobs anymore. I have a theory, if every job in the world was a 9-5 job (no nights, weekends, or overtime) more women would work. But then again there would be no hospitals, nursing homes, places like that.

Matt,
I must say, your comments are rather..revealing.  I haven’t seen much hate in here, per se, rather a vigorous discussion RE our approaches to life.  I do hope you don’t treat people in the manner that your posting suggests.  If you do..I suspect you’re a trial for many, especially the ladies.  Many likely would appreciate it if you’d quit trying so hard to be “macho”.
Men and women need to complement each other, aid each other with life, not treat each other as if the other were stupid, foolish, and incapable of handling the world.

Shamrock,
I wasn’t kidding about some of your comments sounding..anemic.  Problem is, to provide examples would require quite a length of writing, or else copying and pasting.  I don’t think that’ll help much.

So what do I mean?  I mean that too many bishops ultimately take “charity” to mean that they must not be brief, concise, and clear.  Put differently, they don’t wish to ruffle feathers very much or emphasize that something needs to change SOON.  I can’t really explain it better than that without providing all manner of very lengthy examples.

As far as your comments to bishops go, I have no way of knowing how you sound for certain.  I will merely comment that..“speaking in no uncertain terms” can be different from one person to another.

John wrote: “Marion, I’m saddened to see your response.”

Don’t worry, John! Be happy!

“I think most people respond on the internet roughly how they would in general life..or more poorly. Sad to say, your overall demeanor strikes me as one that won’t accept correction or criticism from much of anyone, internet or otherwise.”

Buddy, you couldn’t be more totally 180 degrees wrong! Talk about lame calls. Every single day, I accept correction from my pastor, my spiritual brothers and sisters, my husband, my in-laws . . .  (sigh) . . . my physician, my bosses, my co-workers, my nieces, . . . I am a living, breathing correction hog! I imbibe correction by others; I breathe it; I profuse it, every waking hour of every day . . . I am a living monument to fraternal correction. . .

. . . by people whom I know and trust, and who know me.

“Oddly, you don’t appear to have even considered anything that I wrote.  Why bother with providing comments on here if you won’t consider any other view? I will hope I’m distinctly incorrect.”

John, John. You disappoint me. I *told* you I would take your opinion under advisement.

But my policy is that I don’t take direction or correction from a total stranger on the internet. Nothing personal. It’s just not a smart thing to do.

And if you’re smart you won’t, either. But you should do what seems best to you. Don’t take my word for it.

John.let me get this straight..you can give me no examples…because of time constraints?? All that’s required is for you to scroll back up..re-read what I have written..and tell me where I appear “whimpy”? What is so
difficult about that?  You make a charge that I sound wimpy…I can’t defend my position unless you can give me an example. You tell me you
can’t do that because of time constraints? Why are you in this debate
to begin with if time is a problem for you…honestly John, I just think
you are “wimping out”!... if you cannot do better than that!

It seems to me that in a perfect world, Christians would accept neither direction, correction, or instruction about life, love, faith, and family, from anyone who was not a faithful Christian. Thus faithful Christians, on hearing the pronouncements of loudmouth Gloria Feldt, would steadfastly and loudly *ignore* her . . . as they would anyone who speaks for the Culture of Death.

It bothers me to think Loudmouth Feldt may have disturbed the peace of even one Christian stay-at-home mother, or of any working-outside-the-home mother, either, for that matter. Our U.S. mothers deserve thanks, praise, and support for all they do, not criticism and condemnation.

Shamrock,
No, I’m not refraining from listing specific comments due to TIME constraints.  I’m refraining because of SPACE constraints…and a genuine lack of interest in helping you understand what I’m driving at.  One CAN be more vigorous and assertive without being a royal pain in the butt.

Beyond that, I can’t help you much.

Marion,
I can’t agree with your assessment.  Especially if all you’re attempting to do is insist on your right to imply obscenity on the internet.
I’ll put it simply:  Why put comments in here at all if you refuse to consider any other point of view?
Do you need to know and trust everyone completely before you’ll consider the concerns they raise?  I hope not!

Certainly we must be careful about taking advice willy-nilly, but I would assume that we can each discern genuinely helpful suggestions from ad hoc baloney.

I decided to jump in last night, thinking I might help both you and Shamrock understand each other more thoroughly.  It appears that’s not possible, so I guess I’ll keep my mouth shut.  I’m saddened to see people unable to consider others’ ideas though.  Being unknown doesn’t always imply incompetent.

Father, in the name of Jesus,  grant that the spirit of strife and discord leave this discussion and never return, Amen

@ amanda, Your blessed statement alone makes ‘all’ the difference in the world: “Luckily, she had the support of the male figure of the household as well”

Sadly, there are many among us that have no support here. Thank you for making this very clear, especially, for those who haven’t this same situation of…Blessed family support:-)

John wrote: “you’re attempting to . . . insist on your right to imply obscenity on the internet.”

Excuse me. How dare you?

How dare you accuse me of attempting to imply obscenity on the internet?

I did no such.

I used the expression kick *ss which is a mild vulgarity, not an “obscenity.”

And YOU want to correct me, you! who don’t know the difference. And you wonder why I say I don’t accept correction or instruction from strangers on the internet.

Wonder no longer, John. This is why.

I am a SAHM…I choose to be and my fiance is also behind me on my decision.I do not want anyone else raising my child,I want my child raised the way that I want them to be raised,not someone elses way.How many times have we seen on TV about kids being abused at daycare centers,caregivers abusing our children and sometimes even killing them?The sounds of that scares me and i know my child will always be safe at home with me!By the sounds of it,usually the only ones that complain about SAHM are the ones that are jealous they are unable to afford to do the same thing.I stand behind all stay at home moms,We work just as hard as everyone else.When my child starts school full days I will be a working mom,until then I will continue to be the best mom,teacher and wife that I can be.

So, in Ms. Feldt’s opinion, women only have value if they are earning a financial income. And she goes further to assign them value based on how much income they can earn. Discrimination, anyone???

Nobody can pay somebody enough to love your child as much as you do.  A parent’s love is priceless.

Good Afternoon, Marion,
So, you’re wondering how I dare offer any correction RE your use of profanity?  Quite simple really.  The only crowd I’ve ever dealt with that routinely tolerated or quietly encouraged profane language was in the military.  There, I never cared much for it, but considering the occupation, I didn’t think it a serious problem exactly.

Here on the internet though, I typically think that we’re capable of speaking without vulgarity, profanity, obscenity, or whatever term you choose.  I’m well aware that many, many people “curse like sailors” on the ‘net.  I’m also aware that I tend to blow off these people and the attitudes that come with it.

So yes, I will dare to correct you regarding your use of language on the internet.
I think very dimly of people who can’t express themselves otherwise.

I was in the workforce and I have a college degree.  Ask me where I would rather be, at home with all four of my children.  I’m there for everything, I wouldn’t miss one step or fall.  Do they not have enough to stick their noses in that they have to start on the stay at home moms.  There is slot of stuff that I would love to say but chose not to. I’m sorry I would rather raise my children instead of paying most likely another stay at home mom to raise them.

What about all the STAY-AT-Home- DADS!!!!!  Why don’t you talk about that in your statements!!??  There are plenty of career women who’s HUSBANDS stay at home with the children. What business is it of yours to catagorize peoples’ options??!!

Okay.  You’ve both made your points. You are each going to do what you each going to do.  One reserves the right to use !@#$%^&* as symbols of vulgar (etc) language while the other reserves the right to point it out as vulgar (etc) language

Won’t you now, both, forgive each other each others trespasses into each others rights, as God forgave us all our trespasses.

Otherwise it honestly looks like two people purposely hijacking the thread off onto a tangent.  It is a debate tactic I have seen used many times over. 

Theresa

John wrote: “I think very dimly of people who can’t express themselves otherwise”

Thanks for sharing that intelligence with us, John. Frankly, I don’t give a flip whom you think dimly of or what you think of what I write, since conversing with you has proven to be not worth the ASCII!

And no, John, “ASCII” isn’t obscene, either. Even though it begins with an AS. Although I have no doubt you’re pitching hissy fits over my use of the expression. GASP! She said ASCII! OBSCENE!

Theresa Henderson wrote, “it honestly looks like two people purposely hijacking the thread off onto a tangent”

Hey, Theresa!

If you don’t like my posts, why not just skip them? Nobody says you have to read anybody. Just scan down the thread, look for the name “Marion” and don’t read those. See? Easy!

You can google me “Marion (Mael Muire)”. I’ve been a regular on Saint Blog’s and other Catholic sites for several years, now, and wouldn’t hijack a thread on a Catholic site.

.

“We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. If we
love things, we become a thing. If we love nothing, we become nothing.
Imitation is not a literal mimicking of Christ, rather it means becoming
the image of the beloved, an image disclosed through transformation.
This means we are to become vessels of… God´s compassionate love for
others. “

~ St. Clare of Assisi

Uh, Marion, I actually laughed at ASCII.
Very creative.
Have a good week.

“Lord, in my zeal for the love of truth, let me not forget the truth about love.”

St Thomas Aquinas

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men (women) as angels.”
Saint Augustine

Theresa, you were right; the thread was hijacked. And I was an unwitting participant. They led me on a merry chase. Made a fool of myself, didn’t I?

Am greatly consoled that fortunately there were 80- or 90-some good comments about Loudmouth Feldt’s despicable remarks before this other nonsense got started.

Am accustomed to commenting on blogs hosted by friends. Usually host will jump in: “please, guys, stay on topic.”

Anyway, lesson learned. When am commenting where there is no host to jump in, I need to remember to stay on topic. (Like the Red Leader of the tye-fighters in the movie “Star Wars” kept repeating to his men, “Stay on target!”)

For next time, if somebody attempts to hijack by intstructing, correcting, etc., the best response from me would be along the lines of: “Duly noted. I will not read or reply again to off-topic comments.”

Thanks for your gentle reminder, Theresa.

I do not have to justify how I work each day. Not only does this article stink of ignorance, it couldn’t possibly be more off the mark. I’ll let you know the next time I have ten seconds to sit on a couch watching soap operas and eating chocolates.

I was married to a man who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) keep a job. In order to keep food on the table and clothes on my kids backs, I had no choice but to work. I often had to work 2nd shift jobs while my kids were still in school,which meant I barely saw them. I missed out on so much of their growing up,and in the past 8 yrs have lost two of my three children. I would give my own life to be able to go back and have that missed time with them. If you have to work to support your family,that is one thing,but to tell women it’s a shame to raise their own kids and be a mom…that is selfish and shameful.

Lessons learned:  (1) Try not to use offensive language when commenting
              on the topic…it is too distracting.
            (2) In order to stay on topic it is wise not to comment
              excessively on other commenters..whether to disagree
              or correct
            (3) Do not become abusive towards other commenters..most
              if not all you do not know personally.
Biggest lesson learned: Life preents a different hand to each one of us..
              All respond according to their abilities, resources
              and value system. Women should not be coerced into
              spending their lives against their will…Gloria
              Feldt has had her 15 minutes of fame here on this
              blog. We have had the opportunity to respond to
              this issue and make our opinions known. From reading
              the comments here it would appear that parenting is
              one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs in the
              world ..and effective parenting comes when children
              are put first.
Thanks for “listening” and God bless mothers the world over!! They hold
the future in their hands!

What an idiot. this author apparently has never heard the saying “as the family so goes the country”. women should stay at home and raise their kids. it is stupid for them to work all day long only to use the money they earned to pay for someone else to take care of their kids. funny though if a women is getting paid to watch kids then it fine but if it is her own kids and she isn’t getting paid then she’s a waste of space. i think this author needs to think a little more logically. when i say women should stay home and not men it isn’t because men are better at working then women it is that women are a million times better at raising kids they can multi task far better than men which is very important when you have a bunch of kids running around all doing different things and she is too trying to get something done. Also he never looks at it the other way look what the women who are working are doing to the women who stay at home. i cant tell you how many people put down my wife for being a stay at home mom. far be it from me to want to have my kids brought up the way we want them to instead of some liberal day care worker who has so many kids to look after she wouldn’t even give my kids the time of day. no wonder our nation is on its way to hell it is idiots like this one telling a us to abandon our kids just so we can make even more money than we need to buy more junk that we wont use. i hope the next time this guy writes something like this he will at least try to use some part of his brain and actually think about it first. it takes a crowd-following-women to go work out in the business world it takes a Real women to have enough guts to stay home and watch her own kids and put up with all the crap guys like this one throw their way. keep up the good work.

Hijacked?
If you say so.  Looked to me like most of the comments were pretty well spent, so I didn’t see any real problem.  Perhaps the moderators—if there are any—didn’t either.

As for the subject, it appears that most of us are in agreement that Ms. Feldt demonstrated the typical gross feminist ignorance of the real world.  Can’t say I’m really surprised, I’ve met many of them.

Apparently, many ladies have realized that Ms. Feldt’s comments are mostly hogwash.

Thank God for mothers, and fathers.  After all Jesus chose one for Himself, and so much loved her, and us, that He gave His Own mother to us, in case our own have failings that lead us away from Him.  A good mother leads us to understanding the participatory love of Mary.  A good father participates in leading us to understanding The Father and ultimately our place in heaven with Jesus our loving brother, wrapped with the Holy Spirit.  Having a good mother and good father is the best gift any parent can ever give their child.

We do our best with all that we have.  And God bless every one of you with peace and joy on this feast day of the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima in 1917

It is absolutely my MISSION in life to do just the opposite as GLoria Feldt would prefer I do!!!  My entire mission is to STAY HOME have children,  SEVEN of them (more if I could), raise them, raise them WELL and prove that being a MOM at home is a desirable, satisfactory, fulfilling choice and life goal!  My heartfelt aim would be to convince many MORE WOMEN to GET OUT OF THE WORK FORCE…GO HOME…STAY AT HOME…it is the FEMINISTS that have UNDERMINED and DEGRADED the role of women in the home and made it that much more difficult for women to ever imagine staying home raising children and being absolutely completely fulfilled in the endeavor!

Boo-yah! Tara!

who wrote: “It is absolutely my MISSION in life to do just the opposite as GLoria Feldt would prefer I do!!!”  I love what you wrote. Whatever the Culture of Death advocates, let us do the exact O+P+P+O+S+I+T+E!

Just wanted to add something:

Personal choice is one thing, and fleeing the workplace is another. There are a lot of work-at-home parents who do what they do because there just isn’t another choice. But there are also a lot who do that because it’s sheer laziness.

The problem is, those who are lazy about it and simply try to “work the system” are draining resources which are thin to begin with.

There is another solution: employ more stay-at-home parents, so that the competitive pool increases.

As a stay-at-home dad, I can tell you that I work harder than I ever did in the “regular” workforce. I have to stay on top of what my competitors are doing, and I have to make it clear to my clients that my priority is my family, then my job.

I want to also point out that this is an opportunity for faith to enter the picture. If I didn’t simply accept that things are flowing for a purpose which is unknown to me, I would be a stress-laden nervous wreck. With the recent St. Francis of Assisi celebration, I was reminded that faith often requires an element of doubt in order to remain faith. If we were certain of the outcome, how many of us would stay home and operate a small business from a home office?

It takes guts and faith to stay at home. But that is provided that these people aren’t simply using their duties as an escape from responsibility in either case (job excusing one from parental duties, or vice-versa).

If you’re a stay-at-home parent and are so desperate for cash that you’re grabbing at things that make so little money that it’s hard to make a living, you should find someone like me who helps people get going on their own home-based business. If you aren’t good at anything, perhaps you should give up being a parent—because good parenting is in short supply, and that means babysitting for others is a potential small business.

There’s always a solution. But being negative about it doesn’t necessarily mean that the solution will be found. Sometimes it takes just a little more positivity so that we can relax enough to see it.

Hi John, perhaps the moderators thought we are godly folks who can work things out among ourselves, as we did? :)

Tara I agree with everything up to this point= “...it is the FEMINISTS that have UNDERMINED and DEGRADED the role of women in the home…”  I’d add “...AND in the workplace.” 

Equal pay for equal work need not mean downgrading manhood.  And that is what radical feminists do, as if feminism was some kind of man-hating organization. 

A woman’s place is where ever she needs to be for herself and her family,  as well as a man’s place is where ever he needs to be, for himself and his family.

I was a working mum and found it really hard to juggle everything so if u can do that fine but I wasnt happy I felt like I had to go back to work as it is the done thing!!!
I am now a stay at home mum looking after 4 children aged 9 months 2,3 and 8 years.  I couldnt go back to work if I wanted to how would you afford the childcare?  It makes no difference if you have 2 children or 10 the financial help for daycare is the same.
I love my life now with my children never missing another milestone again!!

She can kiss my stay at home butt.  I’m doing what I feel is best for my family.  Sure I could get a job, at the rate of pay I would get I would only pay for day care.  Sorry, not gonna do it.  I would rather stay home, and be with my kid.  How dare she try to tell me what I need to be doing with my life and my kids.

Frist of all if you are luckly enough to be a stay at home mom than you are more lucky than most i was luckly enough to be able to stay at home, but there is a cost, my husband worked 3 jobs ,sold back his vac. we pinch and pinch, and I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! any one “in the real world” that thinks being a “stsy at home-mom” isnt a real job than they ought to try it! walk one mile in my shoes before you judge me!

If she thinks being a stay at home mom isn’t “working”, then why do people charge money for childcare?
Also, did you notice the comment on our priorities? Yes, let’s make sure we make THINGS, not people, our priorities. That should make society better.

Anitra wrote: “any one ‘in the real world’ that thinks being a ‘stay at home-mom’ isn’t a real job, then they ought to try it! Walk one mile in my shoes before you judge me!”

Karl Marx and the early Bolshevists didn’t want women to be at home making homes and raising families. They wanted the workers to live in dormitory style co-housing, with communal kitchens, and the children to be raised in all-day nurseries (day care) while their parents worked. Making a home and raising a family perpetuate the notion of the individual, the personal, and the private - all of which are reactionary and counterrevolutionary, belonging to vourgeois consciousness, which needs to be smashed. The New Worker should be concerned above all about the communal, the collective, and the good of the revolution, which includes smashing the bourgeois consciousness of home (bleah) and family (bleah) and God (bleah!)

The mothers of the peoples’ revolution, the Bolshevists envisioned, after delivering their babies, would in short order rejoin the ranks of industrial and agricultural workers, producing output that would show the world that the Peoples’ Paradise can out-produce and out-perform any capitalist free-market state.

Gloria Feldt and her friends on the Left right here in the U.S. think in pretty much exactly the same way that Karl Marx and the early Bolshevists did. Except the U.S. Left know they can’t be as upfront about their ideas yet, lest the folks in fly-over country (that’s you and me) have a cow and do something about it.

Lovely, eh?

A choice is a choice and a woman’s choice to raise her family rather than letting someone else do it is absolutely NONE of your business!

Posted by Matt on Monday, Oct 11, 2010 6:09 PM (EST):Lol look at all you strong-willed, hard working stay at home moms.  Half of you can’t change a tire, close a sales deal, push back on a supplier, or cut the grass. Not to mention you all hate each other anyway. Idiots

This guy is clearly a [jerk] (please refrain from obscenities) and he clearly does not know anything about stay at home moms. I am not a mom (not by choice either) but I know alot of ppl that are and 90% of them CAN change a tire, cut grass, and most if not all of them have had jobs. But because they love they children, they have decided to stay at home with the child. My sister is a stay at home mother and frankly I think it is the HARDEST job anybody could ever have. It may not financially pay but guess what…it’s not like you regular job either. Being a stay at home mother is a 24/7 job and pays off every day that mother (or father) gets to spend with their family and NOT miss anything. Being a stay at home parent means alot of sacrifices (specifically that of adult conversation). But I applaud stay at home parents for their hard work. It is those parents that have the hardest job of all.

So to all you who agree with this….nazi of sorts ( for lack of a better term…)you can kiss mine and all the stay at home parents arses because it is their choice, their life, their family, and I know when I am finally blessed with children I can PROUDLY say that I will be a stay at home mother.

Well….if all the working moms stayed home, and all families had one-income, the cost of living would HAVE to go down.  Thus, it would become easier for women who wanted to stay home to be able to do it!

I know plenty of mothers who WANT to stay home, but can’t afford to, including myself!  Seems to me that true feminism would involve ALL women being able to choose what they wanted to do, including being a stay-at-home-mom!

What Ms Feldt is suggesting is to take away from those among us who are mothers the right to freely choose…choose to remain at home and raise our families. Someone pointed out here that in totalitarian societies those are among the first rights to go…control of the family and the raising of children becomes robotic! These same feminists make a lot of
noise about “choosing” what is not there’s to choose in regard to the
life issues surrounding the un-born. They want to take away their rights
also. This is all about individual freedom ...which Ms Feldt clearly advocates against! Wake up and stand up against such fascist ideas!

I agree she took this a little far… but I am SICK of “stay at home moms” who live off of child support (or their spouse’s income) have messy houses, get fat, have bratty children, can’t (or refuse to) cook and then complain that they can’t have the nice things that people like me (who work, clean, cook and stay in shape for our husbands) have. I have NO problem with stay at home mom’s who WORK while they’re at home - I’m just sick of the lazy fat women who complain about their spouses or put their “baby daddies” through h*** so that they can stay home and “raise their kids” (to turn out just like them - lazy and unproductive members of society).

@nani,  I can see your point because I know such people. But I am also a part of a homeschooling network, as an art teacher,  and know that these moms and their husbands battle for their rights all the time.

First, I know a gentleman who works for a government agency who does the job of two men. Tireless worker. And another friend, with another agency, smart as they come, talented, hard-worker. Puts in unbelievable hours and travels all the world for work. So dedicated.

But in all walks of life, even the government, lazy parasites find a convenient place to latch onto, and remain for life, whether certain stay-at-home moms or certain members of government employees’ unions. I have worked with some of the latter, and some of them had expertise in one and only one skill: avoiding work! The more incompetent you are, the less management asks you to do, the less they ask you to do, the more likely you are to be promoted upstairs with a fat increase to your salary. I kid you not. That’s how it works in some (not all!) government offices.

Again, not all government employees’ unions members are like that, but some are - I’ll bet as many as there are lazy, useless, housewives.

Nani..I understand your “pain” but really…do we want to formulate our
society’s laws and take away innate rights of the many because of the
failure-to-perform few? I don’t think so…nor do I think you
really do either! Good strong families are the basis of any society and
without them there is no strong foundation…unless you call a totalitarian
government strong. Forceful, yes? But strong, no! Let’s promote strong
families with good basic values…the kind that made America the great
nation we once were ..and are rapidly reducing to a banana republic via the Gloria Feldt’s et al with their socialistic ideas!

I’m not surprised she said this.  Evil is usually viscious!
It’s like a “religion” to them that men and women are no different; whereas everybody knows they are.  I was a stay at home Mohter when my childre were little and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

This is coming from someone who doesn’t know the first thing about staying home with children. What do you think of the room moms in kid’s classes.. A lot of times they are stay at home moms. Lets just see how well that will work out for the world. I think that being a stay at home mom is not for everyone.. but more power to you if you can afford it or if that is what your passion is.

I have worked full-time with young children.  I have worked part-time with children in school.  Primarily, I have been a full-time stay at home Mom.  When our children left home, I volunteered full-time.  I am now a grandmother.  What one needs to recognize is that all situations are different.  Is your spouse available to help?  Do you have strong family support?  What are your financial circumstances?  Only the family can decide what is best for them.  However, being a wife or mother is not a job.  It is a vocation.  I am called to help my husband get to heaven.  I am responsible for raising my children to be responsible, moral adults.  What I have done for my family cannot be quantified.  A job is just a job.  Unfortunately, society elevates those who work for a paycheck.  Do not listen to them.  Time is precious and you can never get it back.  Enjoy your children.  They grow up so fast.

My job is taking care of my son and caring for my husband.  I do not look at this as degrading me, nor do I want it to become just a necessary task that I take care of everyday.  I think that is why there are so many failed marriages and inconsistent parents…. love is taken out of it and it becomes a “necessary task”.  I am raising my son to put God first and live a life loving others.  That is my contribution to society!

And God recognizes no greater contribution! God bless you Ashley ..and thanks for sharing that most important message…the world needs to hear it more often!

Can she post this in arabic or is she afraid that they will just ignore her idiotic ideas.
I’m proud of all women who stay home and take care of their families. Its harder than eight hours at MacDonalds and pay is much more revarding

Hey my name is Terry and I work from home and I found this website, this is for the stay home moms wanting to go back to school I can get you into any school of your choice for a cheap low price with no obligations, low cheap price, best of all schools in the country if you are interested please email me @ terrysingleton42@yahoo.com

@ Nani, stay-at-home-mothers are not the only ones who become fat, lazy, unproductive, and neglectful of their children, homes, and selves. Plenty of working people do that too as they stuff their face with McDonald’s at their cubicle, while someone else “cares” for their children at a daycare center, and they come home to a mess they’re “too tired” to clean up. So before you go saying such things, really stop and think about it. Being a SAHM doesn’t automatically make you a lazy fat slob just like being a working woman doesn’t automatically make you a gym rat who packs a salad and goes straight to doing the laundry when she comes home from work. Laziness and lack of productivity can apply to anyone regardless of their chosen “profession”, rich, poor, woman, man, blue collar, white collar…all of those groups have their lazy and apathetic people.

For myself, I choose to be a SAHM, I had my children so I could raise them, not someone else. I feel bad for the mothers who do not have the choice to stay home, and feel bad for the children whose mothers could stay but don’t. Someone else gets to live all those first steps, first words, and other developmental milestones apart from the small moments that really make up the worth of a lifetime. To be a witness to those life passages as well as a guide, is priceless.

I also hate that people assume all women who choose to be a SAHM are mindless. Many have college degrees, I actually am enrolled in college. I take distance education courses so I can raise my children and also educate myself, apart from caring for my home. I find it insulting that some women think all I know about is how to change a diaper or bake a cake. This isn’t the 50s, being a SAHM looks a lot different than it did then. For being supposedly so progressive, the ideas of the leftists sure do seem out-dated. Do a little research and you’ll see that a lot of women who choose to raise their children instead of working to pay someone else to do it, have degrees.

For what it’s worth, consider this:
Two of the women I respect most highly in my community are stay-at-home moms.  Uh, in this case, “stay at home” being a relatively comparative term.  Both home-school, one has 5(?) children—4 of which are adopted, the other has two kids, is a former practicing attourney, is listed as the official franchisee for a business, and has an elderly parent who needs trips to this place and that at times.  Oh yeah, they’re both home-makers too.
They don’t have much free time to sit at home, watching television and eating bon-bons.

Moms, You will find support and encouragement at…  www.aboverubies.org

I could care less about a bunch of women whom I do not know. I want to make sure that my daughter is raised to be a good citizen and not end up all messed up. The women’s lib movement was about having a CHOICE. The reason we have so many bad a** children these days is because of stupidity like this. Who are these fools to think that going to a job and letting daycare raise your kid is more important than seeing to it that your kid turns out alright?

Sorry to spoil your little “I’m so great ‘cuz I’m a stay-at-home-mom” party, but ladies, face it:  you’re committing financial suicide by living off of a man.  Sure, you want a choice:  you got it.  Your husband WILL cheat on you because you do nothing but change diapers and run after children all day.  B-O-R-I-N-G.  Then you complain about how your man doesn’t help you with the housework, etc.  Give me a break.  Get a job, earn a living and be a good example to your kids, instead of some Mrs. Brady-wannabe.  Give the working moms a break when you complain about how “hard” your life is.  What a load of garbage.

LAXL,
Speaking as a man who may ultimately marry someone and ask for her to actually help raise our children, I frankly take very grave offense at your posting.  It reeks of prejudice and suspicion of men in general, while implying that women have always been perfectly innocent victims.

I have heard radical feminists preach all manner of sexism and garbage since my teens and I’m quite convinced that many of the problems that women suffer..are self-inflicted or inflicted by other women.

I’m saddened to hear that your life hasn’t been peaches and cream, but the degree of rancor you present is wholly unacceptable.

Actually, John, my life is very good and I’m far from bitter or unhappy.  So, don’t try to shoot the messenger because you don’t like the message.  There is a certain segment of the population that likes to “play house” and pretend that the world hasn’t changed since the 1950’s… and if that’s what floats your boat, fine.  But women should know that taking care of babies does not pay the bills, does not endear them to most men, and in the end, considering that most marriages end in divorce, leaves them on the short end of the stick.  But by all means, folks on this sad little blog can submerge their heads in the sand while the real world marches on.  Who said women are victims?  Not me, they are stupid if they don’t realize the risks they are taking by opting out of the job market.  Not angry, John, just realistic.  Sorry that you take “grave offense” at hearing the truth, but that’s what will set everyone free.  Hallelujah.

LAXL,
I apologize if I misconstrued your comments.  I’ll plead guilty to having been rather more suspicious of your intent than perhaps might’ve been warranted.  Oops.  It can happen.

I think though, you might be well served to consider ideas that perhaps you’ve heard, but I’m not yet convinced that you’ve internalized:
So..raising children doesn’t endear women to men, nor does it pay the bills.  As a result, women suffer dire straits in divorce.  Fair enough.

I must ask though:  If a woman’s husband isn’t endeared to her for the fact that she’s raising their children, why on earth did she marry him in the first place?  Or put more helpfully, did they not have ANY preparation for marriage at all?
Keep in mind, we’re on a Catholic web site; I should think a particular degree of Catholic belief should certainly enter the conversation.  The Church does not teach marriage as a social contract with sexual benefits.  The Church teaches that marriage is a covenant bond between one man and one woman, with some pretty particular requirements for both.

Rather than sounding the alarm about the economic realities of divorce, perhaps we’d be better served to sound the alarm about poor catechesis and even poorer preparation for the consequences of the vows?

I don’t know how you can be more realistic than that.

GOD says one thing, LAXL says another.  Let’s see,  who’s right??  For me,  I’m going with GOD!!!!! 
Here is a good little article I found online about taking advice from the ungodly… 

http://www.victorybaptisttemple.com/walk_not_in_the_counsel.htm

Psalm 1:1
“How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!”

SZ:  Aren’t you so very God-like.  Aren’t you so very pious.  Aren’t you so above hearing a differing point of view.  You must not be very secure in your religious beliefs if you can’t consider another opinion without attacking the person who proposes it.  I’m not wicked, nor a sinner, nor a scoffer.  I’m a person who has offered up another way to look at the issues of being a stay-at-home mother, and have pointed out that there are serious repercussions for women who live that antiquated life.  Only the most simplistic people see the world in absolute shades of black and white and refuse to consider the spectrum of gray.  The rest of us know there are struggles out there for everyone, and we DONT judge others’ decisions, lest we be judged.  Maybe you should try that sometime.

LAXL:
Will I need to take back my apology from last night?  Your latest posting strongly suggests that you’re quite convinced that something critical has changed since the 50’s and/or that criticism of working mothers can’t be offered.  Be aware, working in the home and raising a family is anything BUT antiquated.  If you’re willing, you might try reading “Orthodoxy” by GK Chesterton.  He has a few things to say that might prove helpful.

In the meantime, I like Fr Corapi’s frequent comment regarding gray being the devil’s favorite color.  Many, many issues I’ve heard about that’re “gray” wind up involving someone’s insistence that the Church needs to “get with the times” or whatever.  Rest assured, MANY times have come and gone, but the Church Herself remains.
Don’t dismiss Her teaching too quickly.

John, I really don’t care what you do with your apology because it means nothing to me.  I’m not going to change the opinion of those reading this blog anymore than you will change mine.  Religion always has been, and probably always will be, a force for both good and evil in this world.  People will use it to justify their own personal beliefs, as well as to denigrate those who think differently.  Thank goodness for a country like the United States, where we can agree to disagree.

LAXL:
How disappointing.  Last night, I thought you might be fairly willing to consider another point of view.  It seems you aren’t.
Here’s how I see this:  From the get-go, you’ve had the general attitude that you’re working hard at educating a pack of ignorant lemmings.  Lemmings whose sole purpose in life is to assault your character by their mere existence, primarily because you have a loathing for their preferred way of life.  You seem quite good at judging people who don’t subscribe to your way of life, but if anyone challenges your own virtue, they don’t merit your time or consideration.
Unfortunately, VERY typical of “modern”, “progressive” people.

Oddly, I’ve begun to have pity for you.  You seem to genuinely believe that the world has changed dramatically somehow.

How quaint.

John, save your sanctimonious pity.
The world does march on, whether you like it or not.
Peace out.

Sorry LAXL but you’re a fool. Men don’t leave women because they don’t work and stay home to raise children instead, divorce happens when people are too dense to choose the right partner. Unrealistic expectations, lack of communication, trying to get blood from a stone (which so many people do in relationships) is what ends marriages. You think a man is less likely to leave a woman who works and dumps their children at daycare? Get a clue! That’s actually laughable. Everyone listen to LAXL because she has the magical answer to save your marriage! LOL. Relationships are complex but you have a recipe for failure if you choose a person who isn’t meant for you, who doesn’t share your beliefs, who isn’t playing on the same team, who doesn’t share your goals, etc.

My husband WANTS me to stay home, as much as I do, to raise our children, how does your brain equate divorce = both people working together on a shared goal? That’s so ridiculous, it’s amazing you even think that way. I don’t think ANY person here thinks that staying at home GUARANTEES a perfect marriage or perfect children, it sure doesn’t but it at least gives you a BETTER ADVANTAGE and the BEST chance possible. Studies prove this, or do you know more than the scientists too?

LOL.

LAXL: Im sorry to tell you but everyone on this earth is a sinner and sahmtotwo is right

Its very hard leaving your career to stay home with your children.  I would much rather be putting a my suit, brushing shoulders with executives, and going to the gym, financially independent, like I used to do…But I believe my little children are better off with me at this point in their lives.  I am not wearing in apron cooking and cleaning, banking on my husband to take care of me for the rest of my life.  I am at the libraries, the museum, nature centers…helping them learn.  Helping my son and my daughters realize their full potential by taking an active role in her development, at risk of my own career and finances.  It has nothing to do with what I should represent for other women of the world I don’t know, or even myself, its about the job God handed me when I became pregnant, which is to grow and raise these children.  A very self sacrificing, hard job to do, if your doing it right.  And hopefully when I am entering back into the work place, the hiring manager will realize what it takes to do that job and not hold it against me…that is really what needs to be written about, what will really hold women down, by discrediting their role as a mother when they reenter the work force. Both in the workplace, and within stay at home moms, there are the high achievers and then there are the ones that just gossip and waste time doing the things that give women a bad name and hold them back.

whahahahahahahhahaha these are really long postes and thats what she said lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, being a stay at home mom is a JOB! Lets see, raising children, laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, helping with schoolwork, budgeting and paying bills. OR going back to work and dealing with the commute, co workers and their drama, dealing with your manager, can’t take time off when you want to,daycare expenses, and coming home in the evening having to hustle with housework and care for your kids to go to sleep and do it all over again! I dont miss working and find that being a stay at home mom is harder. My husband is the breadwinner and makes six figures. He tells me I have the harder job! You men wouldnt last one day!!!

Is Gloria Feldt going to pay for daycare for the children of all these stay-at-home moms that she is insisting get themselves to the workplace?  For some women, staying home is not a choice, they do it because daycare costs more than what they could make working.

This is stupid, i am a stay home mom, i worked through almost all of my pregnancy untill i had to quit working because standing on my feet for 8-10 hours a day got to be too much my son is almost 4 and will start pre-k in the fall. I choose to be a stay home mom because day care is way to expensive, my husband has a college degree in computers and can’t find a job in his field because by the time he graduated everything had become advanced beyond what he had learned, he has finally gotten a good paying job so that i dont have to work, i went back to work for about 4 months last year and i was miserable being away from my son after staying home with him for 3 years so we made the decesion that i would not work. Some moms choose to work outside the home and that is fine others choose to stay home with their children and that should be fine too. Stay at home moms do not have sick days so if they are sick they still have to take care of their children. So this woman needs to get off her high horse and stop putting women down for the choices they make as it concerns how their children are raised.

Right on! I am a proud SAHM doing my part to fight against Ms Feldt’s and other misinformed feminists. SAHMs are informed, educated and selfless…that is a bad thing?!  How strange that feminism has turned from being a philosophy of empowerment to being a war of enslavement-we must all be part of the ‘cause’ or we are not doing our part?!  My children will be the ones giving more than worrying about receiving from the world, because I am not worried about the world thinking I am empowered; my job is empowering others, namely my family.

SAHMs are informed and educated?  Only the ones that don’t degrade to only watching their kids’ dvds, and stay active, informed via a REAL news site and continue education before or during child rearing.  Sadly almost every SAHM I see in the world is using childbirth as a means to escape finding meaning in their own lives.  To avoid finishing school, or finding a real career, see marry a construction worker and kick back, get mad when called out on it.