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Condoms Should Come With Capes

01/18/2011 Comments (17)

To the progressive mind, there’s nothing condoms can’t do. It’s true. The belief that synthetic rubber birth control has the ability to cure any and all of humanity’s ills is a bedrock belief of the progressive movement.

Ask a progressive how to solve the biggest problems facing the world and within a minute they’ll mention condoms. Guaranteed.

World hunger? Condoms.
AIDS? Condoms.
Global warming? Condoms.
Poverty? Condoms.
The deficit? Condoms.

In fact, have you noticed that the only times progressives even give lip service to attempting to reduce abortions is when they’re pushing free condoms. They always say that the best way to reduce abortion is…MORE CONDOMS!!! Because that’s worked so well in New York City, right?

Well, now it seems that even the problems plaguing our education system could be solved according to New York City’s School Chancellor with…CONDOMS!!!!!

The New York Post reports:

Less than two weeks into her new gig, Schools Chancellor Cathie Black has riled parents and public officials by jokingly suggesting that “birth control” was the solution to school overcrowding.

The off-color quip came in response to concerns by public-school dad Eric Greenleaf, who said at a meeting of parents and officials at state Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver’s downtown office that there will be “huge shortages” of classroom space in lower Manhattan in coming years.

“Could we just have some birth control for a while?” Black cracked. “It could really help us all out a lot.”

Let’s just think about what she said here. She believes that New York schools could be improved if it weren’t for those darn kids. Yeah, the fact that the children actually exist is the reason our education system stinks. With that kind of logic we don’t really have to wonder why schools aren’t getting any better.

For many, children are the plague from which the world must be spared. And condoms are the cure. I honestly believe this kind of thinking feeds into the worst in ourselves. We somehow think that the less children we have the more time we have to act like children. We don’t want kids because we want to be kids. We’re quickly becoming a culture of Peter Pans. But we forget that Peter Pan was a critique not a model. And no matter how badly we want to we can’t sail back to Neverland on a raft of synthetic rubber.

One of the oddities of our age is that while acting like perennial children we take on the responsibility of gods by entertaining the choice of life and death. We haven’t yet seemed to discover that sometimes taking on more responsibility is the least responsible thing we can do. I think in the end for me it boils down to the subtle but profound difference of wanting to be God and wanting to be like God. To want children for their sake, not ours, is to be like God. And for me that distinction has made all the difference.

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.