The Apostolic Visitation started last year with reports of concerns, irregularities about a secular mentality or even a feminist spirit pervading America’s female religious. A letter from the Vatican followed. A simple request and a questionnaire to help the sisters and to respond to concerns for their welfare.
And then things got ugly. Many women religious teamed up and refused to comply. It was like Norma Rae but with off-the-rack gender neutral pantsuits.
But now, in a world where the Vatican’s Apostolic Visitation was rebuffed, many Sisters forgot something. One very important thing. You never ignore Rome.
While many wondered what the Vatican’s response would be, the second wave of the Apostolic Visitation will be carried out under the cover of darkness by…NUNJAS!!!!!!!!!!!
Just when liberated sisters thought it was safe to go back to tai-chi class…Apostolic Visitation II: Nunjas!!! And this time they’re not taking no for an answer.
Make no mistake, these are not your ordinary nuns. They don’t correct the wayward with rulers. When NUNJAS correct you, you stay corrected. They are NUNJAS! These Nunjas mock albino monk assassins…to their pasty white faces.
Their mission in the dead of night is to sneak into the Lair of the “Sisters of Perpetual Liberation” and exorcise their meditation rooms, replace crystals with rosaries, replace Pantsuits with habits, change their cable plan replacing HBO with EWTN (A litle less “Big Love” and a little more “Life on the Rock), tear down all Sr. Joan Chittister posters from their bedrooms, perform secret Nunja Sleeper hold on radicalized sisters like Sister Mary Rainforest and have them wake up with the Nashville Dominicans just in time for Eucharistic Adoration, and confiscate all rainbow lapel pins.
When it comes to NUNJAS Resistance is futile…but preferred.
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I’ll bring the popcorn!
Matt and Pat-
Fantastic! When is the release date?!
I just want to say, I love your writing! I have been following for awhile now, and every day I look forward to checking your blog. Thank you for bringing perspective to all the craziness in the world. Keep up the good work! God Bless.
Brian
www.catholicmedstudent.blogspot.com
When I first read this post, I was taken aback. However, the good-hearted humor resonated with me when I noted that, in fact, you are suggesting all nuns will remain relatively uncensored. (Are the Nashville Dominicans not the epitome of pleasantness? Who would not want to wake up with them?) Good work, indeed! I should point out, though, that absolutely no habited nun with whom I spoke in my recent study indicated that the habit was necessary for spiritual rectitude. Orders without habits prior to Vatican II adopted such a stance to serve their communities less ostentatiously. (If any habited nun in the U.S. wishes to witness to the necessity of the habit, I invite them to contact me.)
It’s a shame movie voice guy passed away.
NUNJAS: Resistance is futile…but preferred.
That’s awesome.
Awesome article. I love a little Catholic media humor every once in awhile…
I’ve tried on several occassions to post on this site, and I’ve been flipped-off in the middle of my essay. What’s up with that wise-guys?
This essay is mean spirited and full of stereotypes. I know many Sisters and Brothers in what you call “liberal” Orders who are gentle people committed to the Lord and do not have the agenda you accuse them of.
Brother Alan
I did not find this to be at all “mean-spirited.” I found it to be a humorous take on a serious and quite obvious problem. In many liberal orders, the women may very well be gentle and committed. However there are very real problems with some of their theology and/or practices.
I also believe it will be handled with wisdom by the Church.
If they don’t use rulers, do they use… NUNchucks??!!
Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week!
Mike, I’m experiencing a moment of massive self hatred for not putting that joke in my piece. Where were you when I needed you?
This is fun way to approach a very serious subject. It is true, they refused the visits, and I pray they will receive them anyway. Many of the nuns in these particualr orders told their ladies not to say anything about the order, since these particualr nuns wanted the order to come back to what the founders had written. The nuns had to resort to communicating with other like minded sisers in the “dead of the night’, or with sneaking…..so sad. These sisters are truly imprisoned.
Christ’s peace.
Isn’t obedience one of the three vows that all sisters take? I’m assuming that means obedience not only to the superior(s) in the order, but to Church Authority as well. These sisters need to listen to Rome whether they like it or not. Period.
Should have also said that I know there are plenty of orders that do listen to Rome. They are a shining example to be followed. And THEY are the ones getting the vocations…like the Nashville Dominicans.
My vow of obedience does not give anyone the right to constantly monitor me to see if I measure up. When one meets a Religious, it is not charitable to decide whether you approve or not how they observe their vows. I suggest that you support that person by your prayers instead.
Brother Alan
This is awesome! Hilarious…mostly because of the truth within it.
Any institution/order/group/etc that is officially associated with the Catholic Church should be obedient when subjected to review from time to time. It is not only appropriate for the Vatican to do such reviews to ensure/preserve orthodoxy, but the Vatican is obligated to do so. What other practical way can it reasonably assure that those who claim to be Catholic (and are recognized by the Church as being so) actually are?
The objections to this review in themselves reveal more than enough evidence and cause for concern.
Trust but verify.
A frater wrote:
This essay is mean spirited and full of stereotypes. I know many Sisters and Brothers in what you call “liberal” Orders who are gentle people committed to the Lord and do not have the agenda you accuse them of.
To which someone answers:
Precisely those people are in need of the Vatican’s (and our all’s) help in combatting all the occasions of sin their wayward “superiors” and “shepherds” are presenting them with. Besides, we have over the years acquired such amounts of evidence (presented by the waywards themselves) that their current wailing and gnashing of teeth, merely serve as a small, final, icing on a very poisonous cake.
In other words: Please pray for us all - that we may both see the truth, and have the courage to speak it!
-a layman
akr, the defiance of the visitation is real, as are some of the examples he cites. To wit: orthodox orders have nothing to fear from the visitation. As to the others: error has no rights.
Scott W., the “someone” was me… -sorry about that, but I did think it would have been obvious. I’ll be clearer next time.
And, to be pedantic: Error has _one_ right, and one right only: Correction.
-a layman, holding his tongue firmly in his cheek
I know many Nashville Dominicans, and they are respectful of other Religious. I am not sure a habit is what determines loyalty to the Church. It is helpful insofar as any sacramental is, but it does not guarantee anything. I wear my garb daily, but know others who do not who are much holier than I.
Brother Alan
The frater wrote: I am not sure a habit is what determines loyalty to the Church.
We are perfectly well aware of this. The problem is of course not the shedding of habits per se, but some of the reasons behind it. And of course those reasons will vary from case to case, from house to house in the afflicted Orders. Which, again, highlights why an actual _inspection_ might be in order…
-a layman
(serious, for once)
Brother Alan,
Nobody wants constant monitoring, but a regular review of procedures and practices isn’t unheard of. That’s what I see in this visitation. There will surely be correction of errors, most likely in all orders, and opportunity for guidance, assistance, and growth.
Also, nobody here is evaluating how individuals live up to their vows, but merely pointing out that attempts to avoid the visitation would seem to violate one of them.
It would seem that certain orders want the name “Catholic” but aren’t willing to submit to the Pope. What does that make them? Schismatic? Heretical? Just disobedient?
It’s funny how there are calls for greater oversight of parish priests (and a real need), yet a desire for no oversight of other religious. When there’s an attempt for a simple bit of oversight, which could be intended for helpful purposes and not just the presumed destructive purposes, there’s outcry, dissent, and disobedience.
So should the Vatiacn start investigating families to see if they Oare self-governing. Their Constitutions are approved by the Holy See. Yes, accountability is important, but that is true for every Catholic. Even many “pro-lifers” forget that the Church taeches that life is sacred in all stages, not only in the womb.
Brother Alan
Sorry, part of my comment got deleted. It should have read: Should the Vatican start investigating families to see if they are faithful, especially to the marriage vows? Religious Orders are self-governing. Their constitutions are approved by the Holy See. Yes, accounatbilty is important, but that is true for every Catholic. Even many “pro-lifers” forget that life is sacred in all its satges, not only in the womb.
I am in the investment business and once every few years head office sends in a compliance team to do an audit.
We have a branch manager and various procedural manuals in which we follow so I may use the company name for marketing purposes.
I signed a contract a few years ago stating that I would follow the rules, so why on earth must I suffer through a “visitation” every few years?
My apologies akr! I need to read gooder. I’ll try to make it up with this cartoon: http://catholiccartoonblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/me-thinks-they-doth-protest-too-much.html
Jesus did not establish a business. He came to build the Kingdom.
Brother Alan
True, Brother Alan, but Christ did establish the Church and it was He Himself who established the hierarchy of that same Church.
Did not Jesus say in the Temple that he needed to work at his Father’s business? My business is only money, the business of the Church is souls. A little compliance audit once and a while by head office, in this case the Vatican, surely seems reasonable.
To answer the question, “Should the Vatican start investigating families to see if they are faithful, especially to the marriage vows?” The answer is, if a family is causing grave public scandal, then yes. Otherwise it is simply impractical. I don’t know where this idea came from that if one is unable to address every problem out there, then it shouldn’t address any, but it is a stinker. Yes, religious orders are self-governing, but it isn’t absolute because they are also a public face of Catholicism. And if that face is continually banging the drum for abortion rights, women’s ordination, etc. then “We’re self-governing!” isn’t going to fly. To make it personal, if the Bishop called me and asked me to come in to answer for something I’ve said, written, or done, my response would be, “Sure, when can we meet?” Not an indignant, “Who do you think you are?!” Which brings me back to my original point: orthodox orders have nothing to fear from the visitation.
Unfortunately, what we have learned is that we *cannot* trust the church hierarchy to handle problems with either wisdom, truth, or even the love that Jesus preached. The Church IS business, very big business, and PR is the name of the game.
Rome coming down on women religious who dare to observe the failures of the church is nothing new. Popes have silenced saints for a thousand year. When we speak of our holy tradition, remember that the chief virtue of the church is groupthink.
It isn’t about suppression of ideals or quashing feminine spirituality. It’s about making sure that feminine spirituality stays true to Jesus Christ and doesn’t slip into neo-paganism. Like EJCM mentioned. A little quality control and self-policing never hurt anyone to ensure that doctrine and rules are being followed properly.
Gee, Catherine. Without your name I would have thought I was reading a Jack Chick tract.
Today’s second reading at Mass was an excellent challenge for all of us. I think we can support all consecrated persons and still be loyal to the Church. For the most part, I am impressed with the charity of those who disagree with me.
Brother Alan
Brother Alan said: “It should have read: Should the Vatican start investigating families to see if they are faithful, especially to the marriage vows? Religious Orders are self-governing. Their constitutions are approved by the Holy See. Yes, accounatbilty is important, but that is true for every Catholic. Even many “pro-lifers” forget that life is sacred in all its satges, not only in the womb.”
I respond: The Vatican should not investigate individual families, but should be evaluating the local ordinaries responsible for the families. It’s up to the local ordinaries to evaluate the priests, who in turn should be properly guiding and correcting (if needed) the individual families. Chain of command, in a sense. Religious Orders are outside that chain of command, the structure of oversight, and therefore another structure is needed: thus the apostolic visitation. The “pro-life” comment seems to be from left field, yet I think I might understand your point. I don’t think there will be any concerns for those orders that focus on the homeless and don’t focus on abortion…so long as they are not supporting abortion. The Vatican will hopefully use the apostolic visitation for multiple purposes. The most obvious purposes I see are to correct actions and to offer assistance. It seems to me that some orders don’t see the latter, and fear the former.
I have to agree with the last post by Matthew A. Siekierski and the general sentiment that families are not self governing. I for one am glad of it! I can be rather pushy and opinionated by nature and my poor husband is a shining example of sacrafical love. I’m always (eventually) grateful when he reminds me that I ought to submit to him as the head of our family as Christians ought to submit to Christ. I wouldn’t want to have his job, or that of the Church heirarchy!
Dear Gentlepeople,
I am seaerching for a Christian Brother by the name of Brother Alan Parham.IF you see this and know him,please have him contact me by email. Thank you.
Earline Bentley
earline_bentley@att.net
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