I Want to Hear The Abortion Jokes

05/16/2012 Comments (28)

"Newt Gingrich’s campaign is so dead, Mitt Romney wants to baptize it and Rick Santorum wants to put it in a jar and show it to his kids."

That's the joke that Jimmy Kimmel was going to tell at The White House Correspondent's Dinner. He didn't, but only because an ABC News reporter told him that it could "cause the room to turn against him."

Yup. Jimmy Kimmel thinks dead babies are funny. It's a ghastly ghoulish joke in which I see no possibility of humor. None. But that's why I wish he would've told it.

I don't want this topic of the sacredness of life to be whispered about. I want to see and hear what people actually think about things like 50 million dead babies. I want to hear...READ MORE

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Pelosi Says Catholicism "Compels" Her to Support Same Sex "Marriage."

05/10/2012 Comments (101)

This story sickens me. Is Nancy Pelosi's Catechism just different from everyone else's?

Yesterday, Pelosi told reporters that her Catholic faith "compels" her to "be against discrimination of any kind" and thus for same-sex marriage.

Answering a question about how she correlates her Catholic faith and her public stance in favor of gay marriage, she said:

"My religion has, compels me--and I love it for it--to be against discrimination of any kind in our country, and I consider this a form of discrimination. I think it’s unconstitutional on top of that."

So the Constitution and her Catholic faith compels her to support gay marriage? Doesn't it strike her as odd that her view of...READ MORE

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Dead Baby Pills? Seriously.

05/07/2012 Comments (28)

Just in case you're not already sufficiently horrified by the 21st century yet, this story's for you. 

News outlets are reporting that thousands of capsules filled with powdered flesh from dead babies have been seized by South Korean customs officials.

There are two logical followup question to this kind of insanity? The first of which is, of course, “I'm sorry, did you just say ‘dead baby pills?”

The second is “Did the words 'dead baby pills' seriously just crawl out your mouth?”

And then after this horror has found a comfortable cranial wrinkle in which to nest, you might just ask, “Why?”

You see, dead babies are thought “by some” to be a viable cure for disease or at least...READ MORE

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Let's All Ignore the Human Rights Activist

04/30/2012 Comments (11)

There is a blind man in China who made a mess. A big one. And the most powerful people in the world are doing everything they can to make it go away or just ignore it.

Chen Guancheng is a blind human rights activist who has protested his country's forced abortions and sterilizations. After months of beatings at the hands of his guards, Chen pretended to be sick and laid up in bed. He and his wife studied the movements of the guards, according to ABC News. In the middle of the night, Guancheng slipped past nearly 100 guards stationed around his home and escaped into the night.

This would seem like a near perfect ending to a Hollywood movie accompanied with soaring music and rolling...READ MORE

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8 Reasons Catholics are the Worst Protesters

04/26/2012 Comments (89)

In this upcoming election, the bishops have called on Catholics to protest the Obama administration's efforts to curtail religious liberty.

The days between June 21 and July 4 have been dubbed “A Fortnight for Freedom.”

One of my favorite EWTN hosts Johnette Benkovic wrote glowingly about the upcoming protests. I, of course, will be taking part in any protests. I'm stoked. But there are some major problems facing Catholics, namely that Catholics are the worst protesters in the world.

1) You ever see the Occupy Wall Street protests? Those folks are angry. I mean spittin' mad. Catholics aren't really good at anger. You ever been to a pro-life March? There's more smiles and sing alongs...READ MORE

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Raising "Alleluia" Kids in a "Whatever" World

04/20/2012 Comments (33)

I saw an 18 year old girl yesterday put air quotes on the word "love." She was asked by her friend if she loved her boyfriend. And she shrugged, saying, "I guess I 'love' him whatever that means" with the air quotes.

You see, she wasn't questioning her feelings for him. She was questioning the existence of love itself. And it just blew me away and I wondered what went wrong with this girl's life. She's sitting in the bleachers of her sister's softball game on a beautiful day with car keys dangling from her fingers and an IPhone in her palm and she absolutely seems hopeless.

And I don't think she's alone. I think cynicism, ironic detachment, and hopelessness are prevalent in children...READ MORE

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I Think This Movie Hates People

04/15/2012 Comments (23)

I'm not boycotting movie director Joss Whedon or anything. I'm just saying I'm not very interested in his movies or television shows anymore. Look, I've been a Joss Whedon guy for a long time. I watched Buffy. I watched Angel. I was all about Firefly. I even defended Dollhouse even though absolutely nothing happened for a looooong time.

I enjoyed his work so much that I didn't even altogether blame Whedon for infusing vampires with souls. But that's why I've been so curious why he's taken the soul out of everyone else. Recently I read that Buffy, in the comic book series that takes place after the show ended, is getting an abortion. Why? According to Whedon, there's not enough abortion...READ MORE

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Oh No, Not Humanae Vitae!!!

04/10/2012 Comments (28)

I grew up in a Catholic family. I mean the kind of Catholic where my mom dragged me by the hair to Confession just because I picked the neighbor's apple tree bare for a rock fight with other neighbors. (I was out of rocks.) But despite my upbringing, I turned into a hardcore agnostic (if that's not an oxymoron.)

I would've been an atheist but I thought I was smarter than them too. Needless to say, the older I got, stealing apples for rock fights was the least of my transgressions. I went to college because I wanted to make a lot of money. I went to a Catholic college because I wanted to marry an Irish-Catholic accounting major. I know it sounds weird but I didn't like the girls I found...READ MORE

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.