My $3 Lesson in Christianity

07/31/2011 Comments (68)

The southern heat hit me as I got off the train. It must have been 115 degrees. A wet 115 degrees. Northerners like me don’t do that kind of heat. It felt like the sun was visiting Virginia and came via the sewer.

I was down there for business a few days ago. A small town. Real small. When I got off the train I didn’t know which direction to walk. I spotted a man sitting on the bench inside the station. I call it a station but it’s not really a station. It’s more like they put a roof on top of the place where the train stops.

The man I asked for directions had a big belly, perfectly parted gray hair, and a furry mustache. If you were making a movie about an old time Southern lawyer, this...READ MORE

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Wacko Atheists Sue Over WTC Cross

07/26/2011 Comments (322)

On that bright September 11th morning almost 10 years ago, Muslim terrorists took down the World Trade Center, and amid all the heartbreak, dust, and rubble two intersecting steel beams stood impossibly in the shape of a cross giving comfort to a confused and bewildered country.

Now, a group of atheists is suing to take down the cross. 

On Saturday Father Brian Jordan, a Franciscan Monk who blessed human remains and ministered to Ground Zero workers after 9-11, blessed the cross at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum at the WTC site.

The lawsuit which aims to have the cross removed from the memorial, names pretty much anyone it can name including the state of New Jersey, the city of New York,...READ MORE

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Top Ten Things You Don't See Coming as a Parent

07/21/2011 Comments (38)

1) You can’t wait until they start walking and talking and then you can’t imagine why you wanted that so badly.

2) Sometimes silence from a baby is more worrisome than their crying. And you’ll find yourself touching their chest or putting your finger under their nose at 3 a.m. just to make sure they’re breathing.

3) You have to hold children down when they get their shots. Couldn’t doctors hire a thug who comes in and holds them down and then your kid could watch as you throw them out? It would be a lot less confusing to the kids if we weren’t holding them down while a strange woman plunged a sharp object into their arm and then we think a hug from us is going to make it better.

4)...READ MORE

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If Only Bachmann Ran A Sex Change Clinic

07/17/2011 Comments (32)

The big “scandal” around Presidential hopeful Michelle Bachmann is telling of where we are as a culture. And it’s not good.

It’s been reported that Bachmann’s husband runs a clinic that, aside from doing all sorts of marital and personal counseling, also attempts to help homosexuals not act on their impulses.

Learning of this, the media screams that the clinic is trying to “cure gays,” and their response falls into three categories which are: Gasp! Horror! Mock!

You’d think this was a huge scandal by the way the media is reporting this. Over 440 news stories have mentioned this, according to Google News.

The State reported:

Republican presidential candidate and Minnesota Rep. Michele...READ MORE

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Any Good Fiction for Christians?

07/12/2011 Comments (122)

I’m a reader. I read anything and everything. I’m always on the lookout for new authors, and while I enjoy non-fiction, my first love is good fiction. I went to the bookstore tonight and browsed the Christian fiction section and didn’t see anything that jumped out at me. So I browsed the Literature/Fiction section and perused a number of books that had New York Times recommendations and other awards, but I put them down because, so often, I find these books are well written but ultimately devoid of any hope or meaning.

I’ve read at least half a dozen books this year that I had hopes for that about halfway through just got slogged down in despair and meaninglessness, where the denouement...READ MORE

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12 Catholic Words that Don't Sound Like What They Mean

07/07/2011 Comments (117)

I was born a Catholic but that doesn’t mean I knew anything about the faith until I decided to investigate it for myself in college. In my research, I came across a number of things that weren’t true that I thought were, many things that were true that I hadn’t thought were true, and words that I misunderstood completely.

So to help others here’s a list of Catholic words that probably don’t mean what some may think they mean.

Acolytes - Sounds like something you drink to flush out your system. Hyper-Ade! Now with extra acolytes. In reality it’s one who assists in the celebration.

Aspergillum - Let’s be frank. It sounds like a fungus that wraps itself up in your intestine and makes you...READ MORE

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Abortion Is Just Like Getting a Tooth Pulled

07/03/2011 Comments (21)

In Indiana, where Planned Parenthood could possibly lose access to millions of Medicaid dollars, they’re arguing that they should be treated just the same as all other medical providers. No different. They’re insisting on not being singled out.

So you’d think that Planned Parenthood would be pleased that Kansas was treating them like other surgical facilities. But no. In Kansas, legislators are beginning to hold abortion clinics to the same standards as other medical/surgical clinics like having doorways that gurneys can pass through and a two hour recovery period after a procedure. But Planned Parenthood is arguing they want to be held to different (lesser) standards than other clinics in...READ MORE

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Hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers

06/28/2011 Comments (37)

OK. There’s a lot of serious stuff going on in the Church and in the world right now and I was prepared to write on them but then I received an email from a friend of mine about Church bulletin bloopers and I laughed so hard I nearly choked to death. (I’m actually not kidding. My wife came running into the room to see if I was OK.) I have no idea of the veracity of these or their orignal source but they struck me as funny so I’m thinking you’ll probably get a laugh or two out of it as well.

Here they are:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
—————————————
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
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Ladies, don’t...READ MORE

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.