12 Common Catholic Problems

Friday, April 11, 2014 4:52 PM Comments (39)

Your priest absolutely knows its you in confession because you're the only one there who has four kids who confess right before you.

Your active participation is questionable at Mass because you're watching your son, the altar boy, to make sure he doesn't mess up. It's like attempting to will a bowling ball to turn the right way.

Someone sneezed during Mass should I say "God bless you" or just stay quiet? If you say "God Bless you" at mass, isn't that redundant? Should you just save it for the sign of peace, but then again do you really wanna shake that guy's hand?

Oh no. I just responded by saying "And also with you" and now everyone around me thinks I haven't been to Mass in two years!...READ MORE

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Whenever Two or More are Gathered in His Name…It Better Not be in a Public School

Friday, April 04, 2014 10:29 AM Comments (15)

Whenever two or more are gathered in His name, it better not be in a public school.

A federal appeals court has decreed that New York City churches are prohibited from meeting in public school buildings because of the separation of Church and state...or something.
 
That decision overturns a lower court ruling.

The case dates all the way back to 1995, when a small church in the Bronx attempted to rent space in a public school as is done quite frequently by many groups. But the Board of Education denied the request.

The list of government enforced "Thou Shalt Nots" for Christians grows ever longer. Thou shalt not resist government mandates that require you to pay for abortifacients. Thou...READ MORE

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So When Can We Start with the Nazi Analogies Again?

Thursday, March 27, 2014 2:03 PM Comments (12)

OK, now that a hospital has been found to be using aborted babies as material to heat the hospital, is it OK yet to invoke the much maligned Nazi analogy? I know. I know. Any analogy to Nazis is outrageously hyperbolic and ridiculous. But can you just think about this for a second? A hospital was using aborted babies to heat their building. Just thinking about it shrivels my soul.

The number of aborted children since Roe is up to about 55 million (I think I'm rounding down but hey what's a few million babies, right?) so when is the Nazi analogy allowed again? I'm looking for a number.

It seems to me that Godwin's law is being used as a get-out-of-the argument free card. Their position...READ MORE

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Sensus Fidelium on Steroids

Monday, March 24, 2014 9:39 AM Comments (37)

We've been hearing a lot about sensus fidelium recently. It's the only Latin word some Catholics will allow to be uttered. It's definition for many seems to be "what we say goes." Or if enough Catholics believe something stupid, it becomes right.

As if God gives into mob rule.

You often hear it brought up when it comes to the Church's teaching on contraception, abortion, and gay marriage. The argument goes that 98 percent of the Catholic women have used contraception so therefore the Church should change its teaching. It's really religion by poll. But Catholicism is about the gospels, not Gallup. If it were we'd be Unitarians.

There's a certain hubris to it in that there's a belief that...READ MORE

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The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is finding the right judge.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014 11:47 AM Comments (13)

A federal judge has ruled that a law that don't permit abortion after a heartbeat can be detected is unconstitutional. We should hardly be surprised. Legislatures are the only branch of government no longer allowed to make laws; they only make suggestions for judges to consider when crafting a law.

Appointed by President George H.W. Bush, U.S. District Judge Susan Webber must believe that the legitimate interests of the state stop where the agendas of judges begin. She ruled that the bill that made abortions illegal after a heartbeat can be detected is unconstitutional. She clearly believes "unconstitutional" means "I don't like it."

“The Court notes that the [state] conveys that...READ MORE

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My Daughter Was Asked Out by a Boy!!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 1:12 PM Comments (28)

My 14 year old daughter was asked out by a boy.

This is a first for me. Yes, it's a big deal. I've had five kids. Now I have four kids and a teenager...who gets asked out by boys!!! Well "boy" in the singular but "Boys!!!!" sounds more dramatic so...

Don't worry. My daughter said no. Wait. She didn't actually say "no." She said "My Dad would kill me and probably you too." And I'm ok with that. I'm ok with being the bad guy. She didn't tell the guy that she didn't want anything to do with him, she just said that my father is a lunatic and its probably best if we don't do anything to provoke him. And once again, I'm ok with that. It's a way of letting them down easy with an implied threat...READ MORE

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Catholic School Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Wednesday, March 05, 2014 12:56 PM Comments (7)

I was talking to a parent of a child who attends public school and she was asking me about my five kids in a Catholic elementary school and if it's different from public school. It is. But it got me thinking about it. Here's a few incidents over the years that brought a smile to my face.

My 8 year old son thought that the ships Columbus sailed to the new world in were named the Lucia, the Jacinta, and the Francisco. Seriously.

My 1st grader answered a question on a religion quiz with the word "Jesus." The answer, unfortunately, was "love." I went over her mistake with her and she said, "But wait, Jesus is God and God is love so I'm right. I'm going to tell my teacher."

Years ago, for...READ MORE

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Burying the Dead and Clothing the Stick Figures

Monday, February 24, 2014 8:12 AM Comments (10)

My 11 year old had to do a project on the corporal works of mercy. Her class had been studying them for a while. I've tested her so many times on clothing the naked, visiting the sick, visiting the imprisoned, and burying the dead that I can't wait to get to the next chapter.

But first she had a project to do. She had to use a big piece of paper and draw and color a picture of herself doing one of the corporal works of mercy. So she sat down for hours at the kitchen table while I did homework with the other kids. I normally do projects with them but with all the snow days we were a little backed up on homework, tests, and projects so I had to focus on the little ones.

By the time she...READ MORE

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.