Marriage — The Silver Bullet for a Strong Society

The topic of divorce and remarriage has become one of great import at this month’s Synod of the Family. But while the bishops continue to discuss how to best evangelize families, especially those that are hurting, I hope they keep in mind that the Church serves families best when it promotes the beautiful and Godly image of marriage, not to mention the spiritual, emotional, physical and material benefits to all involved when we take the plunge and stay the course.   

Education and encouragement regarding the sanctity of marriage is needed now more than ever, because it seems that many young adults have been giving it the cold shoulder. A couple weekends ago, The American Heritage Foundation (AFH) released its 2014 Index of Culture and Opportunity: The Social and Economic Trends that Shape America. The report documents a startling 23% decline in the marriage rate over the past 10 years.

And yes, to the left and to America’s growing libertarian population — otherwise known as the “to each his own” crowd — this may seem one choice among many, a generation’s decision to avoid the divorcing mistakes of their Baby Boomer parents by sidestepping marriage altogether.

But marriage is not one choice among many.

One devastating aspect of the drop in marriage is the direct correlation reported by the AHF between the decrease in marriage and the increased need for government assistance. The report asserts that marriage, not money, now marks the chief dividing line between classes in America. In fact, being from a married household drops the probability of poverty among children by a whopping 82 percent. This should raise even the most ‘relative’ of moral eyebrows.

Why not promote the virtues of marriage for the security of those involved? According to the National Marriage Project:

The children of ... single mothers are much more likely to do poorly in school, hold low-wage jobs as adults, be at higher risk for becoming ensnared in the criminal justice system, and they are more likely themselves to become single parents. All of these outcomes come with a price tag to society in higher crime, less productivity, and other costs. Researchers have quantified the costs of persistent childhood poverty at nearly 4% of GDP, or about $500 billion per year.

Unfortunately, much of the secular world seems hell-bent on ignoring — even denying — the irrefutable evidence in favor of families led by both a father and mother. 

Case in point. In January, Maria Shriver released her report on women, The Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Pushes Back From the Brink, which was heralded by virtually every news media in the English language. She was interviewed on talk shows, Sunday morning news shows and applauded by Barack Obama.

When I watched Shriver interviewed on Meet the Press about the plight of women, I fully expected her to mention that out-of-wedlock births and single-parent households were to blame for the high rate of poverty among women and children, and that they should be discouraged. But she did no such thing. In fact, the word marriage was oddly missing from the entire conversation.

Scrolling through her report, I found an essay entitled “Marriage, Motherhood and Men” by Ann O’Leary, which touts positive trends “that have allowed our society to move beyond the constraints of the so-called traditional family” — trends like no-fault divorce, opening of the labor market, civil rights advances that have made marriages more egalitarian, the fact that single mothers are no longer shunned or pushed into marriage by necessity (emphasis added).

O’Leary goes on to acknowledge that, despite all these positive trends, the tragedy of unmarried mothers and children living in poverty continues grow. Her recommendations? In addition to promoting better contraceptive methods (an important topic for another day), O’Leary says:

Rather than promoting marriage as a silver bullet for women’s economic troubles, the government should instead promote policies that allow women to complete their educations, to find stable and well-paying jobs, and to have the work supports necessary to meet their family needs, including child care and family- friendly workplace policies (emphasis added).

If this is how traditional families are presented, no wonder marriage is on the decline.

The fact is that stable marriages are a “silver bullet” for a strong society. Hopefully as the synod moves to the next stages, the bishops keep in mind that the world is looking to the Church as the last vestige of truth regarding the beauty and sanctity of marriage. They should send a message that promotes, protects and strengthens its critical position throughout society.