Another good community article and something I would like to development someday, a neighborhood based on the Arts and Crafts movement or something like this: http://www.cottagecompany.com/default.aspx

Smaller homes, less backyard, more front yard living.  My wife and I even thought about co-housing of some sort.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cohousing

Do they really fuss about nine (or, *gasp* ten) foot ceilings?  Aren’t they good for energy efficiency, especially in hot climes like here in Texas?

Apparently based on our square footage alone, our family is still living in the ‘50s - tripping over baby mats, stepping on My Little Ponys, and finding dissected LEGO limbs on every flat surface. One bathroom, one TV. And our kitchen is literally from the ‘50s. I’m all for cozy charm and sharing, too, but lately find myself longing for MORE SPACE!

Our backyard is ok but dull and a couple weeks ago we were alarmed that our 4-year old had a conversation with a stranger who knew her my name over the fence while I was inside getting my jacket and the baby. (We since discovered it was someone we knew!)

I, too, spent most of my childhood outside - roaming the woods, playing by a pond, and it saddens me that my children don’t experience that. The get just a taste of it when we go camping.

In wonderful coincidence with JQ’s comment - there is an interesting discussion about the ‘poverty’ of religious movements and what it means for the laity that also mentions the housing designs aka Arts and Crafts….
-
http://www.ignitumtoday.com/2012/04/09/living-poverty/
-
For myself - I have a mild love/hate relationship with McMansions.  Whenever we pass them, I feel ‘envy’ towards those who can afford them and wish I could for my supersized family.  But, honestly, I also pray for them as well as I wonder how many of them were able to afford them by limiting their family size w/ contraception and living a credit-filled, consumer lifestyle.
-
In truth, they are less like neighborhood homes as castles on the hill that keep them far from those around them.  You’d be hiking a 1/2 mile to borrow an egg!  But, on the upside, the long driveway would be a deterrent to anyone thinking about coming up to commit a crime or snatch any of the kids!!

I completely agree Jen, completely.

This was me as well and I grew up in Los Angeles in the heart of an urban area. We had free reign of about a 10 block square space by the age of 6, when I was expected to walk to kindergarten (5 blocks away) by myself, and was allowed to go to my friends houses at will (they lived 6 - 8 blocks away) and we could also roller skate, by ourselves, at age 9 or 10, quite far away to one of the “big streets” and go to the convenience store and play video games. By age 11, we were on the bus every weekend to go to the movies or the mall.

My dad grew up in Brooklyn, and he and his friends similarly had free reign of the city at a very young age.

The other day my 5 year old was on our front porch while I ran back inside to get my cell phone and a neighbor stopped to “watch” him to make sure nothing happened to him (“because it’s our responsibility”). I live in a good neighborhood and it was 10 in the morning and my son was on the porch. It’s ludicrous.

Please keep an open mind:

“It’s debatable as to whether there is actually more crime or whether there’s simply more awareness of it”

According to statistics from reputable organizations (many linked to on posts on freerangekids.wordpress.com, there is LESS crime against children now than there ever was.

“I would love to see more close-knit communities where people stayed put and got to know their neighbors over decades, as well as communities optimized for walkability.”

This is your true need. Be the change you want to be. Gather other like-minded friends and start getting to know the neighbors with your kids, entrust them with age-appropriate responsibilities, take baby steps to allow front yard play without you.

By supporting the McMansion sprawl, you are actually lessening your chances of alternative communities ever coming to fruition. Money talks, so if enough people act with their dollars to purchase in walkability or get involved civically, we can slowly transform our “mini-castle” mindset to one where parents - and children - live without fear.

I second the thoughts of “um, actually.”  Also, it’s not just the waste involved and atomization involved, but upon some of the reading and pondering that I’ve been doing of late, it’s that McMansions are poorly proportioned and poorly designed, given that they are built more with increased space in mind than anything else.  There’s a saying—from Churchill, I believe—that we shape our buildings and thereafter, they shape us.  As Catholics, we are urged to appreciate the good, the true, and the beautiful.  And yes, that applies to the aesthetics and functionality—the design;  the relationship between form and function—of our living spaces and also our worship spaces.

We have a 1200 square foot townhouse (so no backyard really)- 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, one car garage that is used as storage, homeschool room, pantry, family room. We have the four kids in one bedroom because it looks like our 2 day house guest is staying for 4+ months (long story)....so a cookie cutter Mcmansion would be LOVELY!

I probably qualify as living in one, and I can remember 10 years ago explaining to my best friend that since we homeschooled, we needed the space to spread out so we didn’t drive each other insane. Yes, life was different when we spent most of our childhoods outdoors!

the odd thing about those McMansion neighborhoods is that when you drive through them, the neighborhoods are eerily quiet. There’s never anybody home to enjoy these big houses since both parents are hard at work while kids are in daycare so they can pay for their lifestyle.

Great column! I have a love-hate relationship with STUFF. Just this morning I read a really nice and personal article by singer Janis Ian about her deep relationship with her first guitar. . . and it makes sense to think STUFF can really be deeply important to us.

However, there’s just so much fluff out there, useless stuff, that gets categorized as important to us. Anymore, I try not to get personally involved with my stuff, including my house. I need to travel light through this life, and use stuff, without stuff just using up me.

Live in a McMansion by all means. Just don’t leave it that awful beige color! But I digress. Kinda funny in that more or less our identity comes from our consumption choices with the understanding that anti-consumption choices are really different-consumption choices. Living in a McMansion, being a self-righteous twit about NOT living in a McMansion. This seems to be the only choices left to us.

We feel the same way.  Every day, however, I send our kids outside (to the horror of the neighbors) and entrust their care to the One who created the beautiful world that they explore.  We send our children to an amazing Waldorf school, that spends every spare moment possible, outside.  There are some amazing books built on the subject of Nature Defficiency Disorder and how to get our kids outside. I highly recommend them, as our children have flourished with their red cheeks and dirty fingernails.  It takes trust in God to let them go, but they trust me much better, because they have their own sense of autonomy.

I’ve always found McMansions silly.  We have lots in the Northwest, and they are filled with older/retired couples.  Huh???  Our house is 1600 split level, I’m the McMansion of it’s day. And that saying WSquared mentioned about buildings shaping us, I get it!!!  You can tell how people lived.  Nobody was meant to cook in our house. Or eat.  But there is plenty of room for tvs and toys.  I will spend my life reshaping my house because they were built for “space” (which seems to be a fairly malleable term in the first place)

Wasnt’ Texas hot back when you were a kid? Are the scorpions new? No trees - yes, that’s man made (so plant some!) but the rest of it is crap, Jen. Time for some honest to God trusting in God - with your most prized possessions.

Send your kids outside. It will be okay.

We live in what would be considered one I suppose….5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, extra rooms for office and playroom. We do have 6 kids and family that comes to visit for extended periods of time. Do we need all the space? Probably not, but I do stay home with our children and we do homeschool so do appreciate the extra space. I say if you can afford it, why not live in a bigger home? I think you have to be careful making assumptions about people based on the home they live in. Some comments indicate that they automatically assume people who live in large homes have two working parents and contracept. I know many wonderful, faithful Catholics who have been blessed financially and can afford a bigger home. As far as I know, this isn’t a sin.

Jennifer, this entry of your column is well written, and thoughtfully expressed. However, I beg to differ with your conclusion. Not knowing the specifics concerning your family’s locale, circumstances or situation, there are many things about which I can only speculate. Suffice it to say, however, that I neither agree with your belief which you use as justification to be “a supporter of the sprawling American McMansion.”

I would say that your primary point is your expression of fear.

And though I needn’t remind you - or others - that Hell is first filled with the fearful, then the unbelieving, I shall do so. cf. Rev. 21:8

Of all the things said in the Holy Scriptures when angelic beings appeared to the patriarchs of old, the first thing they said was, “Fear not.”

Contrary to your assertion that “These days, one of the fastest ways to be deemed an irresponsible parent is to let your children out of your sight outdoors,” there are parents today, in these United States, whom have children that romp and play outdoors, as you suggest the Almighty made all Children to do. And, neither they, nor their children suffer for it.

Fear is a prison of the soul, for though one may live an isolated existence in a secure penitentiary cell, and therefore protected from others, fear can still creep in and further incarcerate - even terrorize - the individual.

While our desire for good things is not contrary to the desires the Heavenly Father has for us, we must ensure the motivation and justification for our desires, that they are truly holy. James 4 addresses the trials and tribulations we bring upon ourselves by exercising our power with wrong motives. Fear is a wrong motive.

May you have grace today.

Dear Mrs. Fulwiler,

I must admit (as you may glean from my nom de plume) that I am a very irregular visitor to your blog.  Surely, you know your audience.  That, I would say, is precisely one of the tragedies of this current post.

I also admit, with great regret, that I am left dissatisfied with many of the blog posts on this blog and others in the NCR blog world.  I do apologise for being rather snarky, but I find that many of your offerings take a topic in which you admit to the principle, but end by arguing that your life as a wife and mother in the modern world just cannot accommodate that old, outdated principle.  It appears to me that you often use the same line of reasoning that those who desire to be unfaithful to the Church’s teachings when they sidle up to the “cafeteria” to pick what they like (and leave what they don’t).

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not charging you with rank heresy.  I am, however, inviting you to reflect on a few points: 1. Yep, you are right.  There are many things in what passes for modern “culture” that make it more difficult to live the full, Christian, and truly human life.  2.  That has always been the case, but in different ways, throughout history 3.  Your solution generally comes down to contributing to the deleterious forces, rather than showing how to creatively strengthen a manner of living (the old “conversatio,” in Latin, from the monks)that is consistent with a Catholic vision of human flourishing.

Let me end by taking this current issue as an illustrative example (another that could be mentioned was a recent post about soap and pampering the self).  On the one hand, you rightly point out that Americans want larger houses, more conveniences, have a lower tolerance for things like heat, sweat, and insects, and as a consequence of these things (and others), live less connected to those who naturally surround them. (We have contact, but generally only in more “intentional” communities, if you will take an imperfect category.)  Thus, you recognize the fact that these are separating modern man from certain goods that ought to be present and experienced in society.  On the other hand, you list a number of reasons why we just have to accept the things things which separate us from these goods because the consequences of making hard choices is, well, hard.

Hmmm…I would hope that a publication like the NCR has not begun to accept something less than the difficulty of the Christian life in all its implications.  It bears repeating that I do not mean by that statement that NCR is espousing (through its blogs) doctrinal heterodoxy.  Rather, I am casually observing that the tenor (and arguments) of many of your blog posts espouse a kind of practical heterodoxy that gives place to many modern errors.

Wishing you a blessed Easter season,

Occasional Frequenter

Reminds me of a country song, “But you know, love grows best in little houses, with fewer walls to separate, where you eat and sleep so close together, you can’t help but communicate. Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we’d miss. Love grows best, in houses just like this.”

Nature.  Neither I nor my kids can live without it.  Kathryn, @ Warm Southern Breeze @Ohio @ a few others are right.  It took a friend shaking some sense into me to finally let go more.  Whenever my fourth grader was MIA, and not answering his phone,I knew where to look: at the park, in the forest sailing banana slugs on the river with his buddies, or at the cupcake store, sweeping the floor or working the register for free cupcakes.

There is a growing movement of parents who want to raise “free-range kids”, and this woman is leading the vanguard:  http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/  You might enjoy her blog.

I am trying hard to give my child the same freedom and adventure that I enjoyed as a child, but it’s hard… mostly because all the other kids are trapped inside their McMansions and there’s nobody to play with outside, and also because other parents mistakenly think they are doing their kinds a favour by insulating them from the Great Big World.  :-(

Would someone ease explain to me what is wrong with a big house? It is not a sin to own a big house. You don’t have to justify the ownership, or desire to own a big house, I don’t care if you have two kids or ten. If someone works hard to afford a big house, then what business is it of anyone else.
Do I own a big house? That would be a flat outright, no. We are a family of 6 in a 1200(give or take) square foot home. That doesn’t mean I begrudge someone the ownership of a large home, or somehow think they must have sacrificed morals to get to where they are. Would I like a larger house? Sure I would! Does it have to be a Mc Mansion? No. There are some days when my whole crew “needs space”. We play outside, sometime I’m with my kids, sometimes not. Didn’t really know I was being judged on that. The point being we need to stop judging based on our perceptions.

I have 4 kids in a 1650 sq ft. house and think it is just perfect. We looked far and wide for a house that was in a neighborhood we wouldn’t mind letting our kids play outside in, and with a decent sized backyard. It was bankowned and had been abandoned, and the backyard was downright scary to step out into. But outdoor spaces are important to us, and we appreciate the challenge to make it something that invites one outside, especially our children. We send them outside, entrusing the olders to look after the youngers, and we invite them work alongside us outside in the digging, weeding, planting, gardening. I have to agree with others that I don’t think the answer is “just get a bigger indoor space”. Rise to the challenge, make your outdoor space better.

My husband and I have raised 5 children in a l500 ft. home in an old neighbourhood.  We have a great porch and have had many families over the years, which meant more children for our children to play with outdoors.
A porch is a great place to sit and peal vegetables/potatoes, etc. and keep an eye on the younger children playing on our small front garden along with their friends.
We know watch many grandchildren in this same house and they are blessed with children of their individual ages on our same block.
Getting back to my children growing up, they shared bedrooms, bathrooms and are all close and well adjusted even though they didn’t have their own personal space.  They learned to respect their siblings areas and property, so now they are training their children to do the same.

God bess

I see what you are getting at, Jennifer, but the McMansion wastes its interior space, as well.  And few people who buy them seem to have more than one or two children. 

The callous, disenfranchised wastefulness of modern life is epitomized both in the McMansion AND the lack of safe, close neighborhoods surrounding them.

I grew up in a 4,000 square foot house.  My mom let us rollerskate all over inside!  It was awesome!  My husband, my two kids and I are now cramped in a three bedroom/two bath duplex.  I drool over the huge houses we pass by too and dream of cocktail parties….or well any parties, because our tiny house is way too small to entertain.  :-(.

I grew up in a 4,000 square foot house.  My mom let us rollerskate all over inside!  It was awesome!  My husband, my two kids and I are now cramped in a three bedroom/two bath duplex.  I drool over the huge houses we pass by too and dream of cocktail parties….or well any parties, because our tiny house is way too small to entertain.

I live in a 3500 square foot home and it feels just about right.  My husband works from home when he is in town and needs an office.  I use our finished basement for a playroom/homeschool room.  Each child has their own room and they all share a bathroom.  We have another half bath on our main level.  The one room that doesn’t really get used is the dining room.

Where I live we have a fairly modest house!  My good friend has over 6000 square feet, an au pair suite and her landscaping alone probably costs a 1/4 of my total house price to install.  It is all relative.  I grew up in very small homes and could go back if needed.

We live in a small 2 bedroom home, with baby #3 coming in May. My girls play outside all day long, in our backyard with me sitting out on the deck or front porch watching them, or I am in the kitchen where I can see them. My kids play in the garden, make flower arrangements, make mudpies, bird watch and ride their bikes and playing in the creek and the woods.  I provide them with plenty to do in their backyard and we don’t even have a swing set! My kids have a blast playing with a pile of rocks. And we go together to the parks for plenty of hiking and fishing.  Also, my kids work! They are 4 and 5 years old, and I have them washing windows, doing laundry, scrubbing floors, unloading the dishwasher, dusting, pulling weeds, watering plants,  etc etc etc. We work together as a family, and we have fun as a family. There’s no need to go wandering around town by themselves or to be carted from dance lessons to soccer games. 
As for crime rates, I would like to know whether crimes against children have increased or decreased, and have the numbers of abducted children increased or decreased. I think you can look at the break down in the family in our country and make a good judgement whether you should let your kids out of your sight or not. I don’t want my children visiting a kids house who has a mom and her boyfriend of the month there, if there are parents at home at all!!  My mother played on the street with other kids in the neighborhood, BUT every parent was out on the front porch mindfully watching over the children. And everyone knew everyone because mothers were home to be known. Now, no one is home bc so many people work and kids are in daycare, it leaves very little time to get to know your neighbors.

My husband and I are blessed to be able to afford a 4200+ square foot home on 1.5 acres. The reason we wanted such a big home was because we enjoy entertaining a large group of people. Hospitality is one of the ways we serve friends and family and show them they are Christ to us. We live in a nice neighborhood where most are comfortable, but I can honestly say we didn’t buy this house because we thought it would make us look fancy-pantsy or help us ‘keep up with the Joneses’ but because it suits our needs for entertaining and for all the children we hope to have (as many as the Lord provides). We are looking forward to having large kiddie sleepovers in the basement, having huge church group picnics, and having plenty of room for out of town family to comfortably stay.

We thank God daily for the blessings He has bestowed upon us, strive to be generous to charities, friends, and family, and seek to be humble about what we are blessed with. I realize not everyone who owns a “bigger” house has such values, but pray that they be granted to all.

I couldn’t disagree more (and I don’t usually say that about your columns). I highly recommend “Last Child in the Woods” by Richard Louv, as well as “Designing and Building Homes to Foster the ‘Domestic Church’: Catholic Principles for Residential Architecture” by Sarah Freund.

Thanks for the great post, Jen.  My family of six moved from 6000 square feet and an acre of land in the middle of a large city to 1750 square feet in the small university town of Ave Maria.  There are upwards of 150 children on our block and a half.  Ours is one of the smallest families.  Our kid play outside in the yard, and roam the 17,000 acres of Florida wildlife preserve. There are large green spaces, sports fields, a water park, and a Catholic Church set right in the center of town.  Most people walk or ride their bikes to Church; many, including students, every day.  Not all our neighbors are Catholic, but all are our neighbors.  There is interpersonal short-hand of social ease and trust that arises out of shared commitments and family values.  People look out for each other and each others kids.  There is an excitement about what we are building here.  The new University of Ave Maria, with all its classes, conferences, concerts, and retreats, offers all the intellectual challenge and spiritual enrichment that a man or woman could ask for.  Since we are fallen creatures like everyone else, we have all the human frailties and sins.  But our Confession lines are long and frequently attended.  My neighbors are businessmen and women,  lawyers, university employees, restaurant and shop owners, landscapers and farmers.
There is a delightfully overrepresented group of uber-intelligent Catholic university professors that I call my closest friends. We have a Pub and three restaurants(woo hoo!) This seems like a long-winded advertisement, but I really believe your post was on to something. For the many families that don’t want to withdraw from the world, but to live it outside with their neighbors in a dynamic town with a family emphasis, look us up.  I suggest the testimonial section of AveMariaLiving.com
Thanks

Sorry, next time I will proofread my post for grammatical errors.  Rest assured that I am NOT one of the professors, just a 55 year old guy just learning to type.  :)

We need smaller houses and bigger yards and more kids.  When I was little kids always wanted to play at the house that had the biggest yard. Today, houses take up practically the whole yard.  Boring.  Plus, who can afford to put a roof on one of these, or paint them, and how do you keep the insides clean?

I am a big admirer of the free range kids movement, and first-hand observer of the importance of outside time for health and development. I also know that it takes very little (an anonymous tip) for Child Sevices (or DFACS or whatever your state has) to step in and make a mess of your life. Plus, a spouse (i.e. co-parent) may not always share your opinion about what is safe or responsible for the child(ren) whose welfare you share. And don’t jump to conclusions about how many kids are in these 2,000+ sq ft houses—there are nine in mine, and it’s loud. (Except when we turn on our one TV.) And I wonder how many have even been in the Texas suburbs in the summer? if you want to offer suggestions for how to improve the situation/culture so we don’t have to “make do” with McMansions (which seems to me to be what Jen F is talking about), by all means give them—I think that would make terrific reading—but without the righteous condemnation, please.

ItsNotTheHouse, your place sounds lovely. Here’s to more neighborhoods like that. I’d love a smaller place, and a friendly neighborhood. And I might have missed it, but I didn’t see anyone mention the accumulation of stuff as a factor in large homes. Chicken or egg?

Our kids were always outside roaming the neighborhood. Our youngest daughter is 20 and still does when she comes home from college! It’s a safe place and lots of moms are home during the day. Nothing gets by us!
Point is—that story you read about some terrible crime: where did it happen? What were the circumstances? Is your neighborhood a high-crime area? Or is it like mine?
As a free-range kid myself a pervert once exposed himself to me. Oh well. On balance the freedom to explore and attain some self-confidence far outweighed that one icky (but not scary) episode.
Remember: nothing you do absolutely guarantees your kids will be safe Let them go outside! You’ll all be better for it.
Recommend to read:  A Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Your fears need to have a basis in reality.

I love the charm and character of an older home, but some extra space would be nice, too.  I couldn’t see myself living in a McMansion, but decent closets and a full finished basement for running around during playdates would be great.  Even if the crime rate is less than it was in previous generations, I would not be comfortable letting my son roam the neighborhood without me unless there were lots of other SAHMs around looking out for each other’s kids.

Hubris takes all forms. Insecurity which arises from inside us, where we are not feeling loved and valued, for whatever reason, pushes us to have the best of the exterior world. That often leaves us more hungry, dis-satisfied and wanting more to boast about among other insecure and envious others; or wiser people who feel saod for our insecurity.

Houses have always been a topic of interest to me,  As mothers and homemakers, we spend a lot of time in our houses and i always like the idea of it being a home first.
Open concept is good for when the children were young, not so good when they were teenagers. good storage is essential,if you did all those storage ideas and still dont have enough you probably need to purge. Big homes cost more to heat/cool,take longer to clean,  have higher taxes, and a lot of time those McMansions as you call them ,are poorly designed,often just big rooms, with little character , attention to detail or organization.  Also, big house neighbourhoods usually have both parents working because they both need to afford the house.  The neighbourhoods can have a different, lonelier feel to smaller house neighbourhoods.
If you want more outdoor freedom for your kids, i suggest a farm, or country lot. Modern suburbs have all those conveniences but you sacrifice outdoor space,  and closeness to nature.
I think a bigger house wont solve your problems. Also , as hard as it is to phantom now, you probably have 15 years and then slowly they all leave the nest and you will have to downsize,  maybe all you really need is some really good closet organizers, a finished basement, or loft,  or a garage or shed, or even just a small addition.  we made another room outside by getting a gazebo on our deck and it was heavenly.  another pitfall, of pining about that big house is that you fail to be appreciate and be happy where you are, ” Want what you have”, God bless.

4 children in a three bed room Cape. Everyone fits. One TV and I often wish I could get rid of it.

This makes so much sense. I grew up on a farm, and we were allowed to roam at will. Aside from the obvious dangers of farm equipment (of which we were warned extensively), there wasn’t much to worry about. No one was going to run off with or abuse kids outside of your watchful eye. It’s harder now…even though we have a great yard, I still worry when our daughter befriends the new neighbors and wants to play in their house/yard before I’ve had a chance to thoroughly get to know the family.

I think this is definitely a valid point. I think all it takes to change people’s opinions on the square footage of their home is to have multiple toddlers. I dream at night of having what is now categorized as an “average” American home! Although I think a smaller home can bring a family closer together, if the mom is a stay at home mom, then a bigger home would be a wonderful luxury. Let alone homeschooling! I’m so grateful to live out in the country, there is honestly not much that is more heartwarming than seeing my little kids roam outside by themselves from my window. Its a beautiful way to have a childhood and it breaks my heart when it is so rare today.

It all goes back to every family, situation, location, etc. is different.

At the end of the day, you gotta do whatever will get you and your family closer to God and to Heaven.

I find this post so timely in my own life. My husband and I are purchasing a larger home, further away from the city. (we live in DC). We are doing this to have more space to have more children. We live in an apartment now with no outdoor space. And, as much as the Free Range Kids movement sounds great in theory, it does not work everywhere. I think there is more awareness of crime (i.e. you can now look up sex offenders on the internet, and I personally get weekly crime alerts for my zip code,etc.) If we lived in the country, I would feel differently about letting my children roam free.

My husband and I stuggled with “is this new house too big?” “are we being materialistic” and after prayer and discernment, we decided no. Like I said, every family/situation/location is different and there’s so sense judging someone who does or doesn’t let their children roam or who has a bigger house… etc.

One book we read that we found helpful with deciding something like housing size/cost was “Happy Are You Poor” by Fr. Thomas Dubay. It helped us to learn detachment and discern need vs. want.

When looking on line about sex offenders, keep in mind they have always been with us, sometimes in in the “safest”  places. From a building standpoint, many McMansions are substandard. If you can stand in the middle of a living room and jump up and down the whole building shouldn’t shake. Check the outside of the building, are there ripples in the vinyl,,what does the roof look like. Get yourself a building inspector.
That said, when allowing your kids to free range,yes a cell phone can be helpful. Although when I was a kid, Mom had a set of lungs that could be heard five acres away. Also good to let kids know that they are trusted to wander is letting them walk to school. It makes no sense to complain about municipalities not having sidewalks and then not to let your kids walk to school because of FEAR, of the other. Nothing quite as stupid as parents picking up kids at school every day, when they live less than a mile away. Let the little beilers grow up. One other thing, colleges are having major problems because kids who grow up in McMansions don’t know how to react when moving in to dorm housing because many have never shared a room in their lives.

Nothing like seeing overweight parents picking their kids up from school when they live a few blocks away. Most adults could use the exercise. When we lived in the city there would be no way I would let my kids walk to school without me. Last year there was a problem with two serial rapists picking up girls on their way to school, and lots of gang activity and shootings. Not everyone lives in suburbia heaven.

Elitists complain about, or sneer at, McMansions.

But non-elitists assume that the Joneses, for all their flaws, know more about their own needs than we outsiders do, and that if they opted for a McMansion, there’s probably some sense in it.

Apparently a lot of folk have found some sense in it. So, long live the McMansion.

(BTW, if anyone lives in the area in Kennesaw, GA between St. Catherine of Siena and Due West UMC and wants to do an even swap of their McMansion for my split-level, let me know. I can get enough space to safely and sanely raise my home-schooled kids and you can get the benefits you’re seeking in a smaller house.)

Bah. I can’t agree. Our society needs to regain some sanity and I, for one, am not giving in. We have an 1100 sq ft, 2 story home with 3 small bedrooms in a small city. There’s a nice deck off the back and a small yard. The kids can play on the deck or roam around the yard, and I can glance out to see them just fine from most places in the house. One is only 2 yrs old, and I’m not worried about it. Meanwhile I’m a 3 minute bike-ride to a grocery store, 2 mins walk to a bus line, and a 5 minute walk to two kid-friendly parks.

My kids do get to roam the neighborhood.  I think parents nowadays are so paranoid. There is not a child snatcher lurking around every corner.  The key is talking to your children and teaching them how to be safe and aware.

Unfortunately, this post confirms my estimation that of all the female bloggers I’m familiar with, Jennifer Fulwiler wins the prize for trying to convince herself and her readers that we, too, CAN live in the world, AND of the world, and still feel like we’re “good Catholics” who rise above criticism, because, essentially, our feelings about things are always right.

I used to be poor.  I hated it and figured out how not to be poor, mostly by using talents God gave me (us) and working like animals, for years.  One benefit of all that is my beautiful home, and yes, beauty matters.  We live in 5,000 sf, with an additional full-sized, walk-up attic and full-sized basement and a small pool house on 2 acres.  No ceilings under 8ft.  Crown mouldings, wainscoting, marble fireplaces, built-ins, window seats, etc.  Not every big house is a big, cheaply built ugly box. 

Technically, it’s not a McMansion because it was built in the 1930s, so I guess not everyone in those good ol’ days lived in tiny homes.  Sure, many did, but why is that still the ideal?  Why should we emulate that lifestyle, when it’s not our life, not our time?  19th century farmers wives owned 2 dresses, bathed weekly, cooked in a coal oven and did a whole bunch of other things that I have absolutely no interest in repeating.  God loves me so much he had me live in this time, here and now, with all the good and bad that goes with it.  I’ll respect His will and call it a blessing.

And living in this house doesn’t make me one iota less Catholic than someone called to live in the tiniest apartment.  Or anywhere else, for that matter. 

As far as helicoptering?  Nope.  Living in a suburb of NYC allows my kids to hop the train to Grand Central, where they wander, take lessons/classes, skate at Bryant Park (for free!), meander through the Met, stop by the Cloisters, boat at Central Park, visit the Botanical Gardens/Bronx Zoo, etc.  You don’t have to live in the wilderness to get a healthy dose of outside life.

Well, this is handy….
“A Data-Driven Case for Walkability” including points such as:
** Homes in walkable urban neighborhoods have experienced less than half the average decline in price from the housing peak in the mid-2000s.
** If one in ten Massachusetts adults started a regular walking program, the state would save $121 million in heart disease expenditures annually.
** People living in walkable neighborhoods trust neighbors more, participate in community projects and volunteer more than in non-walkable areas.
—- See http://www.theatlanticcities.com/neighborhoods/2012/04/data-driven-case-walkability/1757/

Odd how many folks commenting here seem to be oblivious to the divorce rate. In the 100 yr. old neighborhood I live in, the houses are small and the neighborhood is almost entirely elderly or single mothers whose kids go to daycare after school. Single mothers who get home at 6pm with their kids don’t want to spend time getting to know their neighbors, in my experience. I can hardly blame them for being busy with house/lawn care and actually spending time with their kids.

I don’t see anything wrong with a large home, per se. If you can afford it (!!!!!) and you’re using it to bring honor to God (entertaining, providing fellowship, etc.) then what’s the problem? Just as it’s a problem to be envious of those who live in large homes, it’s a problem to be judgmental. Not everyone who lives in a large home are two working parents who contracept and have no children. But so what if they are? It’s better if it’s two working parents who contracept and live in a small home? It’s not the size of the home, it’s what goes on inside that matters. Now, I think it’s really admirable to downsize and live in a smaller home than you can afford, but every family should be entitled to decide what is best. My husband and I are currently renting a 3BR townhouse. We have one daughter (for now!) and we live far away from both of our families. I PROMISE, it’s better that we have a large enough home to accommodate our families when they stay. I’m sure God with rather us have a peaceful home than a small one. ;)

Can’t imagine it’s much better for the family to stuck inside a McMansion… it’s probably worse when you consider the privacy afforded kids who should be getting more socially engaged with their surroundings. Fortunately, some of us couldn’t “afford” them even with Uncle Sam’s mortgage handouts. So count me unconvinced by this argument… one billion people in the world need a meal and clean water. Nobody needs a McMansion (doesn’t mean it’s a sin to have one, but it’s more likely inhibiting rather than filling some basic human needs).

In short, buy the home you need and give the difference to Food for the Poor.

The author’s final point about finding a walkable neighborhood is understandable for those with kids… there are plenty of these neighborhoods in most cities. My cousins are in middle/high school and they find plenty of ways to spend time outside of the house: go to friends, be involved with school activities, sports, work, etc.

For a balanced perspective, consider “The swelling McMansion backlash”: http://realestate.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=13107733

Some people genuinely need room (and I think wanting to be able to have people over is a perfectly valid reason, as long as you’re not like me, thinking you’re going to and then never following through).  Unfortunately, many others will get a disproportionate amount of space for the people in it, and proceed to fill it with crap they don’t need and can’t afford, purchased with money they didn’t have.  I see no problem with calling them out; they’ll know who they are even if they don’t like it.  Empty space begs for things to fill it.  It’s common enough for anybody to joke about that some people have garages so full of neglected crap that they can’t even use them for their intended purpose, parking.  Our culture has an undeniable love affair with stuff.  I’m not saying wanting nice things in moderation is wrong, but rampant consumerism coupled with wastefulness is probably at least borderline sinful, especially if we aren’t keeping up with our charitable obligations because of it (one thing I am trying to do better at, to be candid).
-
Felicity: the problem is that it still is a reality for most people in the world.  I will never tell you that you don’t have a right to purchase what you can well afford with your money, no matter what the reason, even just because you can.  But at the same time, I hope we’re all going to remember our brothers elsewhere who don’t have the means at all.
-
The other thing I wanted to remark on is that I am curious about the treatment of “fear” in the comments.  It seems to me that there is a balance to be struck between paranoia and recklessness.  Is there no rational fear?  Yes, we trust in God, but are we forgetting that God is not a cop or babysitter, and he entrusted kids to their parents for a reason?

Im thankful that we had a Mc Mansion for our kids to boomerang back to when their first attempts to launch failed. One of them brought a small family with him. We will ride out the recession with 3 generations in one big house that costs way less than 3 little ones.

When we trust GOD, the bad stuff works out. When we trust in ourselves, or   ignore the OT advice, “place not your trust in princes"we get what we put our trust in! ( I did not vote for him by the way!)

Please, for the sake of your children consider two things.  1) Plant a couple of quick growing shade trees, and 2) hire an exterminator.  Backyards are truly wonderful for children and mama, and a very good investment. 

I homeschool in West Texas where it scorches and the dirt blows, and my husband grew up playing outside all summer in Houston… so no whining!  Your little ones could definitely get an hour or two of outside play in after breakfast before it gets too hot.  It is way cheaper to build a pleasant porch or pergola (with electric outlet & wifi for Mama) and get a sandpit and a trampoline (for the children), than it is to pay moving expenses…  Much less the utilities and mortgage on a McMansion!

What a timely article!  We’re all jammed in a 1 bedroom apartment (1 bathroom, too, of course) with only a balcony for “backyard” and I just visited a friend who lives in a McMansion.  Wow.  I felt like I was visiting heaven!  Do you realize that in a McMansion, the newborn wouldn’t wake up every time the toddler had a nightmare… or every time my husband snored?  Do you realize I could flush the toilet at night without waking the entire family up because the bathroom would be further from the bedroom (well, I exaggerate: I *don’t* actually wake them up by flushing because we run a white noise maker all night long to block sounds like this. Luxury.)  My point?  Cozy is a nice idea until you are cozy!  Especially when you are cozy and everyone has colds!!  Or cozy when its been raining for four days straight!  Bring on the McMansions!!  (Although I must say: it is easy-peasy to clean our apartment, and it is amazing how many crafts you can do on a tiny balcony!!)

“Live simply so others may simply live” is a good bumper sticker and I believe JESUS the CHRIST said much the same in a different way, and the Prophets before Him thundsered about caring for the anawim, the Little Ones of society.

For the first 70% or so of this article, you actually make the case against Mcmansions.  Then you turn bipolar and all of the sudden love them.  I don’t get it.
Yes, a family needs a decent amount of space to an extent—-bedroom for each kid and a bathroom or two, living space, kitchen.  But these huge giant homes that waste space and have more storage space than a storage locker…it’s ridiculous.  And everyone inside never leaving their little suburban fortress?  Afraid to socialize with their fellow human beings?  Ugh.  No thanks.  Give me a modest house in the city any day.

i highly doubt this will get posted and i wish i had saw this when it came out. Mcmansions does anyone here read the news are economic collapse was
caused by these “mcmansions” People talk about parties and entertaining?
Everyone here says that they are a christian? what would Jesus do? From reading the bible my interpretation is that he would not be doing that.
What about helping the needy, the poor, or even people from the sandy storm?
Not one person that says they own one of these homes (and can afforded it)
Talks about this? can anyone here tell me why?

Jill- how is desiring something better, whether it be large house or entertaining friends, a sun? You make an awful lot of presumptions that these people do not help the less fortunate. The article is about houses so people are going to talk about houses and what that entails for them. That is why they are not talking about it. If the article was about how to make chicken soup I wouldn’t expect it to turn into a conversation about how the fix the lawn mower. The economic collapse was not caused by the houses, it was caused by people buying them even though they couldn’t afford it, and the banks lending the money to them knowing they couldn’t afford it. I browsed the responses quickly, but , from what I read, most of the posters (if not all) seemed to be singing the same chorus of living within your means. Some live big, some live small, neither is wrong or right.  Jesus never demanded that everyone sell their house and live in a one room shack, and volunteer all of their spare time, or because someone has less than you, you must now live as them or feel guilty for wanting something better for yourself.

SEX dominats the concerns of most Christian lobbyists, not the complete Gospel of life which is why war and greed from the gambling failures of the 2008 fiscal crisis is hurting the vulnerable. Virtus stands in the middle Aristotle and Aquinas counseled us, so if we seek to follow that Wwisdom Jesus’ brothers and sisters will be fed, clothed and safe out of the streets and soup kitchens.

sissy i appreciate your comment somehow reading about the economic collapse
not to mention the pollution somehow small homes are not mentioned in this
equation but that is not the point. I never read in the bible about acquiring nice things is the work of god. again what would jesus do?
Anyone that truly follows the work of the lord is not materialistic and does not worry about having a large house.  “Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves purses which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near, nor moth destroys.”

Jill- I have never read in the Bible about how acquiring any thing is a sin or against Gods will.
Having a home whether it be a one bedroom box of an apartment, or a “Mac mansion” is not materialistic. By your line of thinking a Christian who owns anything would be committing a sin.
The quotation you give, if I have deduced correctly is Matthew 19:21,”...‘If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” (The Holy Bible RSV Catholic Edition.)
If this is the quote you were proposing all Christians must follow then you need to read the complete passage. I the complete passage Jesus is not speaking to all those who believe in him, just one. A man walked up to Jesus and questioned how he could get to heaven, “And behold, one came up to him, saying, ‘Teacher, what good deed must I do, to have eternal life?’ And He said to him, ‘Why do you ask me about what is good? One there is who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.’ He said to him, ‘Which?’ And Jesus said, ‘You shall not kill, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor you father and mother, and, you shall love you neighbor as yourself.’ The young man said to him,‘All these I have observed; what do I still lack?’ Jesus said to him, ’ If you wold be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” (The Holy Bible RSV Catholic Edition.Matthew 19:16-21)
You have to consider the entirety of the context. Jesus was speaking to that man specifically not to all those who followed him. Just like the priests and religious of today who take a vow of poverty, He was calling that man to do the same. There are several paths to salvation, not just the one. We cannot all have the same path, we are different people, and God has a different plan for each of us; So, as the Lord’s plan for us is different so are our individual plans for salvation. I pray that we can all find the calling to which He is calling us.