A while back I did a computer fast where I shut down my computer and put it away completely for an entire week. No email. No web surfing. No Facebook, Twitter or blogging. I didn’t even use my mobile phone for anything other than making actual phone calls. It ended up being an even more illuminating experience than I could have imagined. Not only did my little experiment reveal some stark truths about how I use my time in a typical day, but it showed me just how much my interactions with the online world had impacted my spiritual life, as well.
Naturally, the minute my fast was over I ran back to my computer like I was Richard Gere in the final scene of An Officer and a Gentleman, and these days I’m pretty much back to living as if my laptop were a bodily appendage. But I have remembered some of the lessons I learned during my week of living like it was 1995, and they’ve helped me keep my relationship with Facebook, Twitter and other social media in check. I find that if I can watch out for the following pitfalls, I can (usually) maintain a healthy relationship to the online world:
The Top Three Spiritual Pitfalls of Facebook, Twitter and Other Social Media:
1. Overvaluing your own opinions
In what would end up being one of the most ridiculous moments of my computer fast—perhaps of my entire life—I happened to see a commercial I didn’t like on television, and instinctively reached for my computer to update my social media sites with some pithy commentary about it. When I remembered that that wasn’t an option, I grabbed a pen and paper and jotted down my thoughts to share when I was back online. I think it was at that moment, when I looked down and saw that I had deemed the message “UltraShine shampoo makes women look like Dee Snider” so worthy as to be captured and proclaimed to the world, that I realized that my involvement with social media just might have made me start to overvalue my own opinion.
If I had had that thought 10 years ago, it most likely would have disappeared as quickly as it had come, like the hundreds of other inane opinions I form about random things in a day. But now I’d developed a habit of making sure that no opinion, no matter how ill-thought-out, inappropriate or pointless, went unannounced. In fact, I’d almost come to think of it as a duty, as if I had to form opinions about every single thing that crossed my path so that I could bless my social media friends with my commentary. Needless to say, it did nothing to help my already-epic struggles with the sin of pride to be stuck in the habit of thinking THIS IS IMPORTANT every time I had even the most fleeting thoughts.
2. Overvaluing other people’s opinions
There was a distinct silence in my life during my week offline, and I only realized later that it was the silence of not being exposed to other people’s feedback all the time. Don’t get me wrong: I love my online interactions with people, and even largely credit my conversion to Catholicism to discussions I had on blogs and social media. Getting other folks’ input via the internet is often a great thing. But it’s important to get a break from it sometimes too. The ding of the iPhone announcing a new email, the responses to our Facebook status updates, the @replies on Twitter, the direct messages, comments on our blogs, comments on our photo uploads, etc. all combine to form a near-constant hum of feedback—and, at least in my experience, it can be addictive.
During my fast I took a nice picture of a sunset over my back yard, and it felt weird to just look at it and enjoy it for myself. Normally I would have uploaded it, emailed it, tweeted it, and waited for the responses to come rolling in. The moment made me realize that, because of my over-involvement with social media, the opinions of internet comboxes had become my default source for validation and approval. I’d all but stopped listening for the voice of God in the little moments of daily life, forgetting that his “still, small voice” doesn’t communicate by direct message.
3. Getting into a “slot machine” mentality
Probably the biggest lesson I learned in my experiment was about the “slot machine effect” of social media. During my fast, I regularly felt the urge to jump up and see what was new online—and each time I was looking for a payoff. Every so often, we all come across virtual jackpots on the internet: an unbelievably hilarious Youtube video, a life-changing blog post, a huge bit of news announced on Facebook, a critical tip discovered on Twitter, an email with juicy info from a friend, and so on. Each time I felt the urge to mindlessly drift over to my computer, it was the same urge that slot machine addicts must feel when they pull that lever: I was seeking the jackpot.
This, for me, is the most potentially addictive aspect of social media. With all the great stuff that’s out there online, I know that it’s only a matter of time until I come across the next payoff ... and it’s that knowledge that leads me into real time wasting territory. I end up floating over to try my luck in front of the glowing screen instead of engaging in the duties of my vocation, hanging out with my family, praying, etc.—activities which, like most things in real life, don’t offer a quick and easy jackpot.
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There are a lot of warnings out there about the various dangers of social media use, and if you read enough of them it can start to feel like we’re all doomed if we don’t immediately burn our routers and communicate by smoke signals alone. I’m sure there are plenty of other valid concerns out there, but I’ve found that doing nothing more than keeping an eye on these three most common pitfalls is often enough to maintain a healthy balance between real life and the lure of the online world.
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The “slot machine” mentality is the worst one for me. It keeps me from pursuing more worthwhile activities like reading. I keep looking for that electronic payoff. I need to work on that one.
Facebook has actually cured me of thinking my opinions or those of others are overly important. Mostly because I have a group of friends (who I’ve restricted to people I know in real life)who are willing to tell me in a polite way that I’m being stupid and don’t mind having the favor returned.
Also, the past couple of Lents, I’ve made myself do more reading of other’s posts and responding to them on Facebook than posting things myself. It’s helped me develop a rule of not posting something unless I really have something to say.
Still, for all the pitfalls of the internet, I remember the pre-1995 world where I had too much time on my hands and wasted a lot of time or pursued the less than enlightening just for the diversion. Now, although my free time is much less, I can pursue intellectual, or even holy, diversions at the touch of a few buttons.
Maybe his “still, small voice” does communicate electronically, but again, we have to listen for it. Also, any kind of communication can be overdone, if it’s face to face, by mail, or on the telephone.
Balance and discipline.
This too shall pass and we’ll find our way through it until the NEXT distraction comes to unsettle us! Something like teleporting?
Of course the first thing I did after reading this blog entry was to share it on facebook . . .
How about:
1. Starting new conversations with old ex boyfriends/girlfriends while married - leading to meetings - leading to…
2. becoming a narcissist
3. Forming false friendships at the expense of true ones
Thank you Jen! I also found great value in reading Danielle Bean’s “Six Rules for Facebook”.
over at Crisis Magazine/Inside Catholic.
http://www.crisismagazine.com/2011/six-rules-for-facebook
Bingo (or jackpot)!
This reminds of how I was once ore involved in the lives of people on a tv series more than in the lives of my family. Until it occurred to me it was a bit of a problem. A big bit.
Blogging is interactive and instructive in a good way. But the three temptations you listed sure hit home with me.
Like everything else, these media formats are neither good or bad in & of themselves. It’s a question of “personal responsibility”. Ooops!!! Hope the “PC COPS” didn’t see that! Nobody in our culture, it would seem, is responsible for anything. Thus, we have chaos. I’m only 70 yrs old & I can still remember what life was like when people were responsible for their actions, &, neighbors would ‘rat you out’ to your parents if you acted like a thug.
While your reading things on the ‘pewter’, read some of Pope Benedict’s latest statements. He’s beginning to sound frantic. (from him it sounds frantic.) We are in one of the most dangerous ‘wars’ in history. There are no visible uniforms.But the “signs of the times” are certainly plain enough!! Call me negative, my kids do! Yeats said it best..”..things fall apart. The center will not hold, and the beast slouches off to Bethlehem to be born”.
Communicate by smoke signals?
Yes we can, and do!
Black smoke: “We do not have a new Pope”
White smoke: “We have a new Pope”.
When you see the message in black and white, it becomes crystal clear.
Smoke is God approved for signaling too.
“And another angel came and stood at the altar with a golden censer, and he was given much incense to offer with the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar before the throne, and the SMOKE of the incense, WITH the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel.”
~~~ Revelation 8:3-4
God inhales your prayers; the answer is in His exhale…to all!
Another casualty of Facebook, blogging, games, etc are your (our) children. As I’m sure you may well know, how many hours you can quickly lose in a day even pondering over good things. I cringe at how much time I have sacrificed over the past few years that I should have spent on better things. Thanks for a great reminder.
I would have read this sooner, but I was busy working on my next blog post and updating my FB status ....
You’re definitely right about the “slot machine” effect; one of the dumbest things I’ve done is have FB send status updates to my cell phone. Why oh why oh why? (Phone’s off now, so that’s one less thing I need to worry about.) But I’m still in front of a monitor as much now as I was when I was working; the only difference is that I don’t have the two hours lost in commute.
I constantly find myself thinking in terms of how I can word the latest thing that’s happened into my Facebook status… it’s kind of funny, but actually really sad… I am trying to cut back on my updates, which just naturally happens when I get busy!
www.socialwebwatch.com Great Service for parents to monitor their kids.
Some blog sites want you to join Facebook before accepting your blog.
I had to LOL because fellow blogger here, Mark Shea’s tagline at his site (markshea.blogspot.com) is:
“So That No Thought of Mine, No Matter How Stupid, Should Ever Go Unpublished Again!”
Irony at its best -
LOL!! :D I was just reading the most recent post by William Ferguson. Ironically, it’s sooo true!! When I think of the years before and up to 1995…. I start to think Damn! I must be as prehistoric as Windows 93 to the Generation X who was born on the millenium year and have no idea what it was like BEFORE the “Information SuperHighway”. I even remember watching the movie “The Net” when it came out with Sandra Bullock! I wasnt more than maybe 15 in ‘95 myself but still it is amazing how Incredibly addictive the Internet is nowadays! Before you had Google, MSN and Encarta Encyclopedia, Compu-serve, AOL and Netscape. I would look at my email and use MS Word for school. Ever since Zuckerberg started Facebook causing the appearance of Myspace and Twitter, I find myself spending a BIG PART of my time online lol! I even remember when I discovered emoticons on instant messengers! or lingo like lol, brb, or ttyl. Another word to the wise, MMO’s are very addicting and Waste Hours of your time lol! I should know cause I haven’t been able to uninstall them…. :P I have realized that I too fell into the overvalue of opinions when we were watching HLN and they always tell you to “call in with your opinions on this story! What do you think? text us, follow us on twitter or respond on facebook and don’t forget to “Like” us!” Never was aware of the “slot machine” mentality when my 78 yr. old father goes Bah! Who the hell cares?! Texting Ha! I remember when we used the phone or wrote a letter! Ever since Facebook, I write down things I think are “So Important” when watching tv and when I realized my dresser draw was full of index cards and post-it notes of websites and cool things to post on facebook, that’s when I realize you think everything, no matter how ridiculous, is funny! :D Everything completely hit home with me!
Great article! In fact, I was reading it earlier today and thought, “wait, I’m caught in this trap too!” So I put down the laptop and went and played with my kids. The article makes a very good point of living in the moment and being present now. Our propensity for the “digital” has quickly surpassed or supplanted the more important need of being “human.” That very real and human need to interact with others one-on-one and not via social media has been dealt a tough blow. The digital world in many ways reduces the responsibility that is required of real interaction—one can say outlandish or hurtful things without having to witness the hurt first hand, we can take on a persona and lie about who we are, etc. This is certainly not a post of “back in the good old days” though. Social media and the ability to connect with new friends around the world is a gift. It allows us to have conversations like this!!
Everything you mentioned is so true and definintely put into a nutshell. During Lent I gave up TV and hoped to read as much as I could to strengthen my Catholic faith. I spent about $200 in books to add to my Catholic book collection. I did find that using the computer (not to watch programs) to read up on Catholic websites prevented me from getting any book reading done. My sister gave up the computer and spent her time watching TV. It helps to keep a check on what we really want to get out of these mediums and spend time in the quiet always. Thank you for taking the time to post this and for the time you give to teach us what you have learned. You are a treasure to our family. God bless.
very enlightening, scary and honest..please go back to the days when we wait anxiously for the postman if we have mails or not; the excitement and joy one feels whenever we open a letter to see what the message is..and keep them. I will try this “worthy experiment” and connect with the world without the shallowness of clicking the “enter button”
I don’t like all the sense you make.
The most dangerous part of all the interaction with social media (in my opinion) is that it can take us away our inner dialogue with ourselves and therefore with God. How can I listen for Gods guidance if I’m too busy talking and opining? Or if I’m too distracted by these ARTIFICIAL means of interaction, how can I create AUTHENTIC relationships with those who are most immediately involved with me? i.e. My Priest, my family members, co-workers,...fellow Parishioners? etc.. No, it’s easier to create and maintain these “arms length” connections and mistake them for real relationships… and in so doing, I’m actually carried FURTHER away as opposed to closer to the true meaning of “love you neighbor as yourself”
You might call this “soliloquy at a distance”.
This reads like the foreword to a book I once saw :)
Recently, I subscribed to Face Book and I spent a month and a bit doodling away on it.. Then one day I got a request from a “Friend” to reveal all the private info of my registration to him and that this would update and free up my access to Face Book. I was horrified… I began to think what I had really gained from Face Book that I couldn’t do on Safari and Comment spots on Blog and email! I realized then and there that my face Book experience had been one of the most boring experiences of my e-life.. mainly because I had to leave Face Book for Safari to make comments or pursue a topic. All the people that I thought I would get in touch with I found hardly ever visited Face Book and really were on it “to find our what the Kids were up to”. I have been away from FB now for more than a week, and I am glad it’s over. Face Book and Twitter are great places if you have something really good to say or intelligent.. But for the most part is was just gossip and idleness and “something to do”! You know Forums (or Fora for the more refined, LOL) are a great way to flatter your intellectual pride and get a good slap if “they” disagree! I have a a forum I visit on a regular basis, and I have been on it for years, We have all become friends and we share thought and recipes and even from time to time tears and fears and ““getting older” stories. I with Mr Oliver, too much of the Social media stuff is like radio.. can’t have a quiet moment “within”. BUT the humorous side is that when you announce to your email friends who you also visit on Face Book that you are leaving because… you get lots of email either congratulating you or “we’ll miss you” notes. My cousin actually did the best thing yet, she gave me the websites of her Kids and their family developments and pictures and blogs and boy did it make all the difference.. I was there with my family in the intimacy of my family enjoying the pictorial journal of a growing and active bunch of well adjusted kids! So there you go, just wanted to share that as this Post is about the temptations… Face Book and Twitter are grand in things such as the wars and problems of the Middle East and struggles here at home, they are invaluable is preserving freedom of thought and have proven themselves. But the best Social Network we can have is the Communion of Saints, both in the Church militant and victorious! Now my conundrum is should I uncheck the Notification Box before I submit this !!! ROFL… Hehee!
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