I walked into the toy store with three of my little girls in tow, there to pick out a birthday gift for an upcoming party. We arrived at the section for children their ages, and I saw a display of lovely educational toys. “Look, girls!” I exclaimed, “Hand-crafted wooden puzzles! A children’s binocular set—it even comes with a birdwatching guide!” They admired the items, making polite comments as they peered into the packaging.
And then someone spotted it. “PRINCESSES!” my four-year-old exclaimed, and they stampeded toward a shelf covered in pink and glitter, almost knocking over the educational toys display in the process. They spent the next half hour oohing and ahhing over frilly dresses and silky gloves, begging for princess gear for themselves in addition to what we’d get for the birthday party.
I know, I know. I’m supposed to be discouraging this. Those cartoon princess are bad role models who will leave my little girls thinking that they have to be rail thin and perfectly pretty in order to be fulfilled. I’m supposed to give them a rousing talk about how they’re already perfect and don’t need to be like Snow White or Jasmine or Ariel the Mermaid, and gently steer them to the My First Semiconductor kit. But I just can’t get on board with the anti-princess movement.
When I was a kid, I was not what you’d call “pretty.” “Graceful” or “elegant” are also not words that would come to mind. I was perpetually a few inches taller than any other kids in my class—and this was back before designers caught up to the trend of increasing height among young women, which left me wearing highwater pants for the entirety of my childhood. My hair was flat and mousy; in a flash of 1980s wisdom, I decided I would remedy this by getting a perm. I was determined to do that poofy bang thing that made all the other girls look so cool, but never quite got it down, and I often walked around looking like I had a failed taxidermy experiment attached to my forehead. My shoe size and awkward gait inspired my classmates to come up with the nickname “Bigfoot”...and it kinda fit.
I was a prime candidate for a girl whose self esteem would be hurt by pop culture princess fairy tales, especially since I grew up back when cartoonists were utterly unconcerned with portraying realistic images of women. These fictional ladies had tiny waists, slender necks, dainty noses, thick, flowing hair, and they always ended up with a handsome prince in the end. In other words, they were the exact opposite of those of us whose physical appearances inspired nicknames based on giant woodland ape-men. So you would think that Cinderella and her ilk would have taken any sense of self worth I had, shattered it into a thousand pieces, and stomped on it with a glass slipper. But that’s not what happened.
I recall coming home from a screening of the 1950s version of Sleeping Beauty, so excited I felt like I could burst. I ran to my room and danced and sung like that pretty lady I’d seen on the screen, unaware and unconcerned that I could neither dance nor sing and was lurching back and forth making a noise like a malfunctioning carburetor. Rarely had I felt so full of hope, so aware of the great potential my life held. Far from making me feel bad about myself, Sleeping Beauty taught me to dream.
So how did that work? How did Miss Beauty avoid turning me into a neurotic mess? I think a big part of it has to do with the way children understand fantasy.
Sleeping Beauty was a cartoon, and, as such, it was very clear to my child’s mind that this was not real life. By watching the movie I was peeking into a dreamy realm of imagination, where the images on the screen were symbolic of esoteric truths about the human experience that were hard for me to articulate. When a cartoon princess would go from poverty to riches, I didn’t take that to mean that I would have to have a couple million in the bank in order to be complete; I simply received the message that it’s possible to end up with a good and happy life, even if you start out in bad circumstances. When the princess donned a glittering ball gown for her marriage to the prince, I didn’t despair at the fact that I’d never look that gorgeous or that my chances for ever snagging a prince were looking slim; rather, I thrilled at seeing the triumph of the underdog, and took courage in the reminder that even people who have all the odds stacked against them can prevail.
We adults are more literal about the connections between cartoons and real life. We think of Cinderella as the representation of a female who is about 5’ 6”, blonde, and wears a size 4 Tudor-style dress. But as a child I did not make that connection as clearly as I do now that I’m a few decades older. It would never have occurred to me to compare the colorful lines on the movie screen to the fleshy, three-dimensional people of the real world whose hair was subject to the laws of gravity. Interestingly, when I watched live action movies that featured ridiculously beautiful young girls, that did cause me some pain. When I saw actresses who were my age and were super thin with perfect skin and perfect hair, I would compare what I saw in the mirror and go console myself with a bag of potato chips. But no so with cartoons. I didn’t view Sleeping Beauty as an avatar of a real woman who might live down the street; rather, to me she was a work of art that inspired me to seek grace and beauty as general concepts, to hope for the triumph of good over bad. After I watched Beauty and the Beast, I was no more disappointed that I couldn’t have Belle’s 18-inch waist than I was that my candlesticks didn’t talk to me.
You’ll see proof of this concept if you watch little girls play princess. After we went to the toy store that day, my daughters pulled out their tattered princess dresses and magic wands and ran around singing and dancing. Their polyester gowns have rips and fraying hems, their scepters are missing rhinestones, and their tiaras are held together by scotch tape. On top of that, they seem to have inherited their mother’s inability to carry a tune. They were a long, long way from the idealized images they’d seen in their fairy tale cartoons. And yet they radiated joy, dancing through the house with the certainty that they were beautiful. For them, to want to be a “pwincess” is not about concrete things like money or body type or hair color; it’s about exploring weighty aspects of the human experience like beauty and hope and fear and goodness, encapsulated in a way that’s understandable to their young minds. It brought back fond memories of my own childhood to watch them twirl around the living room, utterly unselfconscious as they sung off-key and danced out of rhythm. As they beamed with happiness and confidence under their plastic crowns, I was delighted to see that princess fairy tales have inspired another generation of young women to dream.
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“I ran to my room and danced and sung like that pretty lady I’d seen on the screen, unaware and unconcerned that I could neither dance nor sing and was lurching back and forth making a noise like a malfunctioning carburetor.”
Golden. and you even said carburetor!
Now, my concern is that modern disney princesses tend to be self-absorbed wenches. Not necessarily that they’re completely selfishly evil, but that it’s all about them: they’re absorbed in how great they art, and their greatness is completely external. Where’s the moral beauty? truth? honor? goodness? I appreciate the beauty of dreaming and imagination, but do we really want to teach that with such examples? and maybe I haven’t seen enough of them, but what I have seen strikes me as morally repugnant with little to be desired. (My wife and daughter disagree (vehemently?), but I’m not seeing much more.)
You nailed it! Beautiful piece, thanks for writing this. The world is so caught up in virtual reality that we seem to have missed the enchantment of fairy tales and the hope that you spoke of. I love this article and felt the same ... the underdog can and does come out fulfilled and on top of the world! And to watch my granddaughter doing exactly what you’ve said here has brought tears to my eyes! Beautiful!
This is exactly the sort of thing I’ve thought to myself about women who complain about Disney princesses and Barbie dolls. It’s always been clear to me that women who complain about Barbie dolls being “bad role models” are broadcasting their own personal insecurities to the world—certainly not their daughters’, who are completely capable of distinguishing between a doll and real life. Thanks for the article.
Oh, I hate that you’re probably right! Definitely insights for me to chew on today . . . Thank you!
Just for the record Jen, I was a short, skinny scrawny thing with knees the size of my head (and didn’t hit 100lbs until well into my freshman year of high school)—and my brother called me Sasquatch (in reference to Bigfoot) because my feet and hands were already full-sized (like the giant paws on a cute little labrador puppy) and completely disproportionate to my tiny, skinny arms and legs!!
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We won’t go into the other nicknames (ahem, bug-bite —in reference to my bosoms)
It’s real nice when your own brother picks your body apart - I’m just realizing, why I still point out all my shortcomings.
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Although I never had the excitement over princesses that girls today have… and that you describe from your own childhood.
I’d be interested to know what the boys thought of them.
If Sleeping Beauty and Snow White had brothers… they would have thought the Princes were full of it!
My daughter just turned one yesterday and I know that I will soon have to sort through all thing “princess” in my mind. This approach makes a lot of sense and feels right in my gut. I never wanted to banish princesses, but I felt it was the “responsible” thing to do. Thanks!
I totally agree. I would much rather my 4 girls play with princesses and Barbie dolls rather than embrace the teenage shows that I really marketed to girls as young as six (the now defunct Hannah Montana, iCarly, Shake It Up). To be honest, though, most of my girls have outgrown the princess obsession by the time they are five or six. My older two still play dress-up at 6 and 9, but it is less “princess” and more “rock star”.
I played with Barbie’s a ton when I was a kid and pre-teen and dressing them up and the stories I acted out helped me process life as I saw it going on around me and on television. (And to be honest, if anyone had been paying attention they might have been concerned about what exactly I was absorbing and re-enacting with my Barbies, like a window into my mind.)
“We adults are more literal about the connections between cartoons and real life.”
As usual, Jen, you nailed it! Recently I reminded my daughters that dropping an anvil on someone’s head would be completely unacceptable, not to mention homicidal, in real life—and my six-year-old sighed and gently chided me, “Mama, we *know* that. It’s *just* a cartoon!”
I was an awkward, tomboyish sort of kid—but I loved fairy tales and princesses. I do agree that the Disney princesses have gone downhill in recent years; apparently being kind and sweet like Snow White violates some sort of feminist principle and now we have to have whiny, disobedient ones like Ariel.
Failed taxidermy experiment!!! Hilarious!!! Yes, I love the rest of the message, but that totally appealed to my sense of humor and will keep me on my awkward-I-wish-I-had-dance-lessons feet for the rest of the day! My kids will definitely benefit from a less grumpy mama too!
Beautiful! And thank you for finally putting my own thoughts into words about the distinct difference between how children view cartoons and real life. I don’t think we, as adults, give kids enough credit in how they are able to distinguish fantasy from reality. They know. It’s we parents that have the problem!
Thank you! The Spouse-Person and I spoiled our little princess—said princess is now a PhD from Texas A & M—with every made-in-China Barbie in Christendom. It was just all glorious, girlhood fun. I gave the kid a cap pistol, too; she hasn’t grown up to be a murderer.
I tried to not go too crazy with princesses when my girls were little- but I didn’t forbid it either-
now (and for the past few years) they read the Andrew Lang edited fairy tales (old-fashioned, dark and multi-cultural before it was pc)
Thank you so much for this! As a mother of three young girls who love princesses, I have felt a lot of pressure from anti-princess people. People who think that I am ruining my children’s imaginations and self-esteem. My girls LOVE princesses, and are drawn to them in the store, just like you said. I appreciate another perspective on the issue.
There is a book at blends the adult and child response to princess stories, that its just wonderful. The Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye. It’s not as manic as the Enchanted Forest chronicles, and contains all the sweetness of the children’s fairytale for older children and adults.
Emily wrote “I don’t think we, as adults, give kids enough credit in how they are able to distinguish fantasy from reality.” I totally agree. We seem to forget that we were that age once.
Totally agree! I loved fairy tale princesses when I was little and am sad that some little girls now aren’t allowed to have that fantasy play.
“Those cartoon princess are bad role models who will leave my little girls thinking that they have to be rail thin and perfectly pretty in order to be fulfilled.”
Yet you take the word of a man who lives in a palace, parades in gold-embroidered robes and a crown (really a funny-shaped hat), is incredibly wealthy and commands hundreds and thousands of subjects to be the proper role model for mankind. You also look to him to define the roles of woment in society and the Church.
Opposing view? Maybe. I am okay with my daughter engaging in the whole princess thing, she has some dolls, costumes and several tiara… etc. But my issue is that, the movies, books, etc. are so far removed from the old classic Sleeping Beauty it isn’t even funny.
Look at Jasmine and some of those other characters and they look…well… a bit over the top. They are actually drawn now to be curvy and sexy. Way more than in days of yore. So, I am not too thrilled with my daughter trying to take on that look. In fact, I prefer that she not be overly focused on her appearance and looks at all. I want her to know what makes her important and special is God’s love for her and not her appearance. She is pretty enough already that she’ll have an easy time being popular for that reason. So it will be hard enough for her to stay grounded as it is.
So there is a fine line.
I am also appalled at how some other parents call and treat their daughters like real princesses. Spoiling them, telling them they are perfect, and beautiful and great ALL the time, etc. Some of these kids have become real monsters. (Saw one the other day screaming at her mother at the top of her lungs for something she wanted, “I’M A PRINCESSSS Mommy and I WANT IT NOWWWW!” Shudder)
So, it is just different nowadays. While dressing up is fun and fine to some extent, as a concerned Dad, I am also on the look out to ensure that it is not taken too far. Maybe I am going to be perceived as a “meany” or something, but, so be it. All things in moderation I guess
Used to post: As a daughter of a father now long dead, I wish, how I wish, he had told me I was pretty, at least on dress-up occasions, or occasions of great emotion and import.Acting as though we were all just brains on legs can be carried too far.
I’m not saying you should smother your little girls with ideas of perfection, but if they know that you think they are beautiful (not “beautiful in spite of your nose/weight/height/freckles/etc.”, but just plain beautiful) to you, that will be the baseline from which they can confidently step forth and be beautiful, or not so much, and not worry over it too much. You’ll kind of inoculate them against the lure of a man who calls them beautiful to manipulate them.
I have no problem with princesses as such, or princess stories, or having my little girl dress up like a princess. We are all daughters of the King, are we not? But why do these conversations always turn on *Disney* princesses. Don’t we have others to turn to to feed our daughters’ imaginations?
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There is a qualitative difference even among the Disney princesses. I’m “okay” with Snow White. (Although, I’m pretty sure that if I showed that movie to my daughter, she’d never sleep again. That witch is SCAREY!) But most of the modern Disney princesses, as has already been pointed out in the comments above, are not pushed upon us because they are noble or virtuous (quite the opposite in the case of the Little Mermaid). Yet, in many of the original fairy tale stories, they are very much so. Cinderella and The Little Mermaid are particularly noble in the original tales.
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There also need to be more Catholic children’s movies/cartoons about royal saints and holy persons like St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Queen Blanche (mother of King St. Louis of France), St. Hedwig, Maria Theresia of Austria, St. Ludmila, etc.
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Also, one other idea that makes me uncomfortable with this article: Children being able to discern that cartoons are *just* cartoons, not real life. That may be sufficient explanation for why the cartoon beauty will not warp our daughters’ body image. But cartoons, like other fictional stories, shape a young child’s understanding of right and wrong. They also *do* affect a child’s behavior and type of play, which is why I allow my daughter to watch very few children’s shows in general.
Princesses are also about power. What does each princess figure do with the power she has? Why is Ariel a heroine, and Ursula a villian? Why is Beauty to be preferred over her sisters, or Cinderella? Worse things could happen than that girls see kindness as a desirable trait. I look at Phineas and Ferb, and the better princess movies, and wonder . . . how did this company also produce the bratty tween sitcoms?
@ Therese Z: Just for the record, I am one of those Daddys who tells my baby that she is pretty - and beautiful. And she knows the difference. She is quite comfortable with her place in the world and knows that my sun rises and sets on her - although she has to share my affection with her siblings and, most importantly, her wonderful mother. But, at the same time, she will also continue to hear me say, “It’s not whether or not you look good, that matters, but whether or not you ARE good.”
Bottom line: I know how important a father’s love is to a girl. She’ll always have mine and she knows it.
@ Suzanne: I totally agree with you. There are so many better examples for a young girl to emulate that are not “Disneyfied”. (The old Disney - fine. The newer, sexed-up stuff - not so much.) Meanwhile she notices how much make-up Blessed Mother Teresa wore too…
Every night when she goes to bed she says to me, “Good night “The King”“. To which I reply, “Good night my Princess”. Yet I also remind her that there is really only One True King, and that I am not Him.
I have more of a problem with the sexified Barbie industry these days than the princess population. My Barbies had dresses that went to their feet, big ball gowns, like Belle and Sleeping Beauty. Today’s Barbie has a mini skirt and looks like she belongs with those Jersey Shore folks. It’s bad enough 12 and 14yo girls are advertised to with those images, but now 5yo are to be inspired to dress in glittery speghetti strap tops!
From a different point of view, my daughter who is the child of a single mother by choice through adoption, often wonders why the Catholic Church doesn’t recognize our family or others like ours as “real” families since most of the Disney princesses come from single parent households. Ariel has a single father, Jasmine has a single father, Belle has a single father, etc. Only the “old” movies like Cinderella and Snow White include an evil “step” mother. The princesses are great, they are becoming much more varied in look and desires (not so all-consumed with finding a prince), but, if you are a Catholic who agrees with everything the Institution of the Church promotes, you MUST have a problem with the single parenthood of the princesses’ households or you’re being hypocritical . . . or maybe you DON’T agree with everything the Institution promotes and then that’s a whole other discussion.
Because, in the cosmos we inhabit, we have a true Father - God - and a true mother - the Church. Obviously, it is God’s intention that children grow up in a microcosm that images this grand reality. Children’s imaginations are big enough to comprehend single parenthood by necessity - death, maybe war - but not by choice - divorce, fornication. I hope that there are people in your and your daughter’s lives who suppport you as having provided the best that your daughter could get. And I trust that you understand that the best that she could get, under the circumstances, is not the best that could be gotten, which is to be raised by both a mother and a father who love her.
Very insightful and thought-provoking. Haven’t really thought about both sides of the issue, but as my little girl gets older, it’s sure I will have to consider it.
I found Princesses inspiring too. When I “waltzed” through the house singing “Once Upon a Dream” at the top of my lungs, I wasn’t thinking about whether or not I could sing or dance or how I looked, I was just being a princess. And as for cartoons influencing my body image? Never. It was real live people who did that. Although, I must admit, I did experiment for years with Cinderella’s hairdo.
Richard A, my daughter did get the best she and anyone can get, not only a mother but a whole community, varied and colorful, that love her. She is not simple-minded or narrow-minded enough to believe that God only intended families to be Mommy, Daddy, and as many kids as they could achieve. If that were so, we’d all be born in boy-girl pairs, all would have fertility, and all would readily fall in love with and stay married to one other person. You may have narrow beliefs but I see the world as a much more colorful picture, filled with various kinds of families living very happy lives, yes, in the image of God. It always amazes me that one like you seems to feel you can speak for God. How exactly does that work? I wish you the best in your “gated” lifestyle and theology. However, I personally believe that God’s ideas of “the best” are so much broader than you or I could even imagine. I don’t pretend to know or believe I know the mind of God as you seem to feel you do. However, I know what is good and right and beneficial to a child’s spirit - THAT knowledge is, I believe, a God-given knowledge to anyone who trusts in Him.
Sorry, just wanted to add to Richard A that the Institution of the Catholic Church would be better off (and, in reality, I think it was meant to be) being INclusive rather than EXclusive. EVEN IF I agreed with your interpretation that the Institution doesn’t recognize single parent families because it is somehow BEST for a family to have 2 parents, why would they actively exclude single-parent families? THAT Institution is not my mother. My true mother is the Blessed Mother. I won’t blame her for what man has done to the true faith.
Princesses, yes.
Barbie dolls, no.
Chesterton spoke of something to the effect of becoming Catholic not because it made the most sense - but because it was the most romantic. It was the ULTIMATE fairy tale. I think that says something about our desire to be like princesses - because on some level, we know God made us for this purpose. I was always a big believer in “Prince Charming/The Perfect Man.” Even into my twenties and I experienced a profound conversion when I read somewhere that Jesus was that man. That “Prince Charming” desire was put in me by God - and COULD be fulfilled…by God. So I’m very “pro-princess” - I just want to help my daughter understand, at the appropriate age, the “why” behind the desire so she doesn’t expect that the first mortal man she meets is the fulfillment of all her “fairy tale” desires. :)
You’re a converted Catholic who doesn’t believe in fairy tales—quite the oxymoron—or maybe just the moron….
LH,
First of all, the single-parent princesses are being single-parented due to circumstance, not choice. And even those princesses who had evil step-mothers had fathers who recognized the importance of a two-parent household even if they bad a decision in their choice of second spouses.
Furthermore, have you considered the fact that the princesses have so much horrible stuff happen to them is precisely because they are without two living parents? How different would the stories be if their mothers hadn’t died? Or in the cases of Snow White and Cinderella if their fathers had not died as well, leaving them orphaned?
The fathers in the Disney versions of both the Little Mermaid and Aladdin are struggling with the proper level of freedom to give their daughters with no one to even out their excesses (as happens in a two-parent household). In Beauty & the Beast, Maurice is loving but extremely absent-minded and absorbed in his inventions, leaving Belle to somewhat take care of herself. Yes, they all get their happy ending, but from a story-telling point the writers are very much aware that the heroines would probably go through less torment if they had two parents, especially their natural mother. But that doesn’t make very good story-telling; does it?
Barbara,
It’s amazing how much sub-text you read into simple Disney Princesses! The “writers are very much aware that the heroines would probably go through less torment if they had two parents, especially their natural mother”?! Um, hate to tell you but these tales transcend time and culture. They’ve been passed down for generations and have been shaped by each culture that has passed them on. If there really was some sort of important subtext about natural mothers, it would be right there in the open. But you go ahead and dissect them in any way that fits your beliefs. As far as one parent evening out the excesses of the other in real life, you lost all credibility with me there. I’ve dealt with hundreds of married couples in my profession and let me just say that your assertion that one evens out the other’s excesses is just as fictitious as a fairy tale. Again, feel free to bend it all to your liking. I’m shocked at how many “good” Catholics that I read here are the most judgmental, obviously angry people who appear to feel very threatened by anyone who is outside of their ken. I am greatly thankful for the blessing I have of a supportive community within my own parish even if the hierarchy seems to be blind to a great section of the population. BTW, just wondering how many children you’ve adopted. Since you seem to be such an expert on the superiority of a family that happens to have 2 parents, I would think you would feel responsible for taking care of at least one of God’s little ones who has no one. Or are you really just an expert at feeling superior? Yeah, I thought so - LOL!
Oh, I keep forgetting this - LOL! Barbara, I’ll ask you the same question I asked previously, if the Catholic Institution is INclusive rather than EXclusive (which I believe Jesus wants it to be by His own example), why would it purposely leave out single-parent households even IF it believes that we are less than ideal? After all, I’ve not committed any sin in adopting a little one. In fact, I would say I’ve probably committed fewer sins in general than the average married couple. Sad how some feel so judgmental that they actually are doing what Jesus asked us NOT to do. The contempt with which you seem to consider families like mine IS exclusive and a sin. I’ll pray for you. My daughter, on the other hand, is happy and a joy to all who deal with her on a day to day basis. I’m told that all the time. And she will, if she chooses, help to make up the future Catholic Church. She already feels a very special relationship to the angels and to our Savior’s Blessed Mother.
@LH I don’t quite no how to put this but traditional Catholic teaching in the past and even present has never said that the adoption of a child by someone who is single is a sin in and of itself. If someone has told you that then they are just plain wrong. From the comments I can’t say I saw anyone else criticize your choice to do so at all. Actually in many traditional Catholic circles (at least the ones I am familiar with) the decision of a lady living a chaste life to adopt a child who otherwise would have no other parent would be regarded as highly commendable. The desire to share life, to provide for a child and to raise them to love God and his creation is natural and good. Where is the hostility coming from? The only people the Church would say are uneligible to be adoptive parents are pedophiles, sodomites and lesbians (or anyone else who would be a danger to the child’s physical, emotional or spiritual welfare). The first due to obvious reasons and the following two due to reasons of spiritual and emotional reasons as well as leading the child into serious sin at some point (ie justifying something sinful).
@LH As far as everyone criticizing single parents yes it is normally more healthy for a child to have both a father and a mother- its how it was designed originally. However, sometimes that is not possible due to no fault of the parent. Most people do not have you and your family in mind when they raise concerns about single parents. Usually they have in mind those who have a child out of wedlock or divorce/ remarriage (especially when it is for silly selfish reasons). However, that is another topic.Obviously no one expects you to get married to your adopted child’s natural father. If you decide to marry at some point then great. If not then that is fine as well. It is really your choice and the decision to do so or not to is indicative of no sin.
And back to the topic. The Beauty of the older fairy tales is that they teach that the true and lasting beauty is not what is on the outside but the virtues of the heart and nobility of the soul. Physical beauty is nice but passes like a flower in the hot sun desert- the virtues remain if rooted soundly. The older forms of literature were great at teaching that. We just watched a movie called “The Little Princess”. It was based on a novel written by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. The version with Shirley Temple was nice but the other one done in the 80s was much deeper. None of that insipid Disnefied garbage. Bring a handkerchief though- it can be very moving although like most older works of literature it ends with a sense of hope and promise of happiness. Besides we all grow old if we live long enough and at some point will become physically unattractive. People need to learn to accept that and stop trying to pretend they will be young forever in this life. There are much more important things. It is epitome of pathos to watch those who are old enough to know better trying to pretend they are still in the foolishness of their youth and acting more silly than they did back then. Not only have they lost their youth but they have not gained any wisdom in return either. .
It’s funny to read all of these posts. So many make statements as though you are learned about the fairytales. Try studying children’s literature. The old fairytales were not teaching that true and lasting beauty is not what is on the outside but the virtues of the heart and nobility of the soul. They were, in fact, about scaring the heck out of kids to teach them a lesson. The old, original versions of fairytales would not be the kind of story you would read to your kids today. As far as princesses go, throughout the world, Cinderella tales made a point that beauty was being physically small and meek (having the smallest feet in the land ring a bell?) waiting to be saved and those that have a Cinderella character that is male (yes, there are some) portray him as the physically biggest. Don’t kid yourselves that fairytales have anything to do with traditional Catholic principles.
Personally I think it’s wrong to push reactionary gender norms (women as passive virgins waiting for their prince to turn them into a silent, subservient baby factory) and heteronormativity (mixed-gender relationships are special and “holy”, all others are inferior)w on young children through media propaganda.
H.P./FSM: I’m glad you recognize pushing reactionary gender norms on children as wrong. I am pretty sure no one here would advocate much less do that. Children need to be educated, not have ideologies pushed on them. A proper education helps children to flourish as persons when they know how to choose what’s best for their life. If we hold fast to what is true, it isn’t without questioning and searching to understand and grow in what is right and good. Calling a distortion or perversion by any other name remains the same, and good will always be good and beautiful, and evil will never make you happy.
Be well.
Oh Holy Prophet of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I am having some difficulty in ascertaining whether your comment is, in fact, serious, or is the work of some creative trolling. Post on, my gender-neutral friend, so that my doubts may be swept aside!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8xCgC3w1zs
Jennifer - if you are looking for a laugh, check out the above link, or google “Advice from Disney Second City” for some advice from Disney Princesses. Maybe a little bit rougher of a sense of humour than you’re used to, but hi-lar-i-ous.
Thank you for sharing your experience with Fairy Tales and the imagination! Your article made me cry. Really - because fairy tales have taught me and my three little princesses to dream as well. When I was a child, I was often lonely, but found beauty and wonder in stories and my imagination. I praised God for my “imagination magic.” When I grew up, I wrote and published my own fairy tale (“Under a Fairy Moon”) and dedicated it to my children hoping to share that same wonder and beauty. Imagination is truly a gift, and fairy tales often hold kernels of truth deeper than in other forms of writing. In the words of G. K. Chesterton: ” Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
You will really be inspired with fairy tales. Though they are fiction stories yet not all of theme are impossible to happen. There are still a lot of situations that seem to be magical yet could happen in reality.
I have a problem with some of the prinesses, but not because of the dress-up play they encourage (I love that for my girl). I have more of a problem with how little they act on their own behalf in the face of mistreatment. Cinderella comes to mind, for example—I love an underdog story, but I don’t like the helplessness and acceptance she shows. Maybe I’ve known too many grown women who ignored signals about bad men, or hoped “someone” would rescue them from their own abusive marriage—but I think repeated viewing of stories like Cinderella’s does not encourage girls to understand that they need to act on their own behalf, and that no one deserves to be taken advantage of.
I like Belle’s love of reading, her discernment about Gaston (and later, about the Beast’s changing heart), and her courageous, sacrificial love of her father. Now there’s a princess worth imitating. The story and characters are important to me because we are influenced by what we watch, otherwise no one would spend money on TV commercials to influence our behavior.
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