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Confessions of an Apolitical Housewife

Friday, March 11, 2011 4:51 AM Comments (27)

On the unfortunate occasions that I emerge from my lair to socialize, I end up having a lot of conversations that go something like this:

FRIEND: What do you think about Libya?
ME: Who’s she?
FRIEND: Umm, the country.
ME: Oh, right. Libya. I’m sure it’s lovely.
FRIEND: Uhh, you know they’re in the midst of a revolution, right?
ME: There’s a revolution in Libya? Wow, crazy. I hope that works out.
FRIEND: I was going to ask you what you think NATO should do about Gaddafi, but I guess that would be a total waste of time.
ME: Unless this Nate O. guy is someone here at the party and Gaddafi is one of the appetizers, yeah. It’d be a waste of time.
FRIEND: [Pretends to choke on a carrot stick to avoid having to talk to me any further.]

Okay, I’m exaggerating. Slightly. But it’s true that people tend to react with some mixture of incredulousness and disgust when it becomes clear that I simply don’t follow many categories of current events. When I’m asked for my opinion about health care reform, the House’s proposed budget cuts, or the race for the state railroad commissioner, I say the words that, evidently, informed citizens are never supposed to utter:

“I don’t have an opinion about that.”

Especially in this day and age of information overload, I simply don’t have the mental energy to keep up with most current events. I have four young children to keep up with, I’m pregnant with another, I homeschool, I do a bit of writing to help me unwind each day—and that’s enough to pretty much max out my brain. If I had a natural interest in politics, government or world affairs, I’m sure I’d be able to squeeze in the time to stay informed about the big news of the day. (In fact, some of my fellow homeschooling moms of large families are some of the most shrewd political analysts I know.) But those are not areas of interest for me, and thus it exhausts me to try to keep up with it all.

In order to maintain balance (and sanity) in my life, I’ve had to specialize: I choose carefully how I use my time in order to avoid getting overloaded. What this means for my knowledge of world affairs is that I’ve identified only a few key issues to follow (for example, I closely watch all news that has to do with pro-life issues). When it comes time to vote, I fill in my areas of ignorance by asking people whose opinions I respect and whose worldviews are similar to mine what they think of the various candidates. And when the subject of current events comes up at social events, rather than spouting off half-baked, uninformed opinions about issues I’m not really familiar with, I just admit my ignorance.

This all works for me, but I tend to get bad reactions when I admit that it works for me. I feel like I’m supposed to pretend that I spend hours each day ruminating on the conflict in Libya or brainstorming about possible new government infrastructures for Egypt. I feel like Bad Citizen of the Century because I can’t throw out witty commentary involving words like “trade deficit” and “GDP.” I feel like I’ve committed some kind of sin when I say those dreaded words: “I don’t have an opinion about that.”

Am I missing something here? Do I need to turn on C-SPAN and sign up for a lifetime subscription to The Economist? Or is it sometimes okay to just be an apolitical housewife?

 

Filed under homeschool, news, politics, wives

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Same here.  I check my eclectic interest happenings, but ignore the mainstream.  They move on to their own drumbeat with or without my interest.  News sites are either macabre, slanted, or shallow.  Most of them have sold out to the soft porn entertainment sector (check out FoxNews web site - or rather, don’t).  And anyway, getting smart won’t get you to heaven.  There’s too much thoughtful reading out there than to waste time spending it on news updates.

These conflicts in Arab world/NATO reactions may cause the next world war. Or, if it doesn’t matter to you, may cause that your neighbours/relatives/friends in US Army come home in coffins. So, showing some interest in this situation isn’t the same as showing interest in new Lady Gaga’s dress or something like that.
My country was in war and we practically lived on food that good people from all over the Europe donated to Caritas. It was so comforting to find out that someone cares, someone prays for me, unknown girl from never-heard-of-country.

Looking at the two posts prior to mine, I see the need for balance.  As Magnificat said, Lady Gaga will have to answer for herself, but we need to have some awareness of what is happening around the world for it is happening not to political parties or countries but people whom God loves dearly.  That being said, keeping CNN on at all times would be distracting to your primary mission as wife and mom. 

In my busy life, not unlike your own, I try to check in on the world - via the internet only - before heading to bed.  It gives me something to pray about as I fall asleep.  However, if it is likely to cause nightmares, I’ll wait and check the headlines before starting my day and know what I can sacrifice for.

When I had only young kids in the house, following the news would have the following effect on me:  It would often be bad news, which would make me worried and anxious, especially since so much of the news made me worry about the world my kids would be growing up in.  Then, when one of my kids wanted something innocuous, like a cup of milk, I would feel like, “And what do YOU want?”—as if the whole world was already tugging at my apron strings, and then there were these KIDS who needed things, too.  So for many years I dropped out of politics and current events, because it was directly making me a worse mother.  I think it’s super smart to know yourself and order your life in the way that helps you to function well.  This isn’t selfish, this is prudent.
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Also, the world would be a smarter place if more people were willing to say, “I don’t have an opinion about that!”

I know of at least one saint who agreed with you:

“Reading newspapers clouds the mind and hinders pure prayer.  When the soul prays for the world, she knows better without newspapers how the whole earth is afflicted.  She knows what people’s needs are and feels pity for them.  Newspapers don’t write about people but about events, and then not the truth.  They confuse the mind, whereas prayer cleanses the mind and gives it a better vision of all things.”

St. Silouan the Athonite

I echo Simcha’s wish.  Everyone has an opinion about every single topic, or so it seems, even when sufficient knowledge to posit an educated opinion on every single topic is impossible.  The resulting cacophony is discordant, angry, and all about egos, rarely about finding the treasure of truth.  Empathy is needed, prayer is needed. Another political pundit hammering away at the keyboard from the safety of his suburban living room?  SO not needed.

I used to be chained to the news channels.  It’s a waste of time and a source of much anxiety.  Still, it’s our duty as citizens to be informed about the issues going on, and I think there’s something of a duty as well to know in some vague way what’s going on in the world in order to pray for others.  The question is: who can you trust to be honest about the issues and not sensationalize them?  Who can you trust to give you the issues in short order?

My grandmother used to get her political info from my grandfather and he’d tell her whom to vote for.  Maybe you can find a friend who is honest and has similar views to your own and simply ask what’s going on in the world.

My mom was apolitical until our youngest in the family was about 9 or 10.  Then she was able to devote more time to keeping up with the news.  She always said that before that, she was way too busy!

News and politics are useful if and only if you are also going to do something about it.  Seeing as you already have so much on your hands (and God bless you for that) the understanding of what is happening outside your sphere of influence is not imperative.  There are aid agencies that hopefully you are able to contribute to who make these concerns their own.  Offering up our prayers likewise entrusts these situations to hands much better than our own as well.  Knowing about these things for the sake of knowledge is one of the big pitfalls of our times. People know about all these world events and are scandalized if you don’t, yet they themselves play absolutely no part in providing aid or action to those situations.  Rather, that knowledge often serves as a distraction from providing action in the local situations of their own lives, which they can then rationalize as “not as important” in comparison with what is happening in the rest of the world.  The knowledge you have of people and situations that you do nothing to help is useless, yet oftentimes people are deluded into the idea that somehow simply “being aware” or informed of those things helps.  It doesn’t.  Focus on charity where you are, in every aspect of your life.  Be informed for the purpose of extending your boundaries of charity with your financial support and prayers.  The obsession and expectation that we have we have with regards to being political and simply being knowledgeable of world events is merely a distraction.  Case in point: Magnificat said that we may be on the brink of a new World War, and on a more personal level that soldiers and people are dying and that more could die.  The truth is, how does you “knowing about it” alter the situation in the slightest?  The entire world could know about it but it still wouldn’t change anything, because we are not the players in that situation.  All “knowing about it” offers most people is anxiety, distraction, and the satisfaction of being in-the-know.  The most that most of us can do about it is to pray, which we should be doing anyway, and which I rarely see the political and “informed” doing. 

I feel bad;  I’m giving being informed about world events a bad rap when honestly I am a very up to date news-junkie.  It doesn’t have to be bad, I suppose, but we must remember NOT to be distracted from the situations that we DO have power in, namely those in our own lives.  That should always be our first priority.  What I am saying is that no, we do not have to know what is going on all over the world and that it should not be expected.  A much better expectation would be for us to treat our neighbors with half as much compassion as we feel for people on the other side of the world whom we never have to meet, who will never frustrate us, and whom we never have to actually do anything for.

Considering your schedule and vocation, you just don’t have the time to be as involved as many other people are. And that is ok. While it is good to be informed, when possible, we must remember that God is always in control. So the best thing that we can do is be as informed as possible as individuals, and pray constantly.

I think it was Mark Twain who said something like “if you don’t read the papers you are uninformed, if you read the papers you are misinformed”. Regardless of who said it, I like it :)

Do you vote or get involved with politics at all, Jen?  If you’re too busy to follow politics, you probably shouldn’t try to influence them much outside of the key issues you follow.  In other words, if you don’t want to follow policy and current events, back single-issue advocacy groups, not politicians.

Current events often seem to be outside of our everyday lives, but that simply isn’t true.  Taxes created/abolished by those in political power directly affect our paychecks.  Conflicts half a globe away affect how much we pay for gas for our cars.  It’s important to at least get the gist of everything, even if you may not be completely up to date on the details. 

I would recommend setting Yahoo.com as your homepage.  They always feature top news stories from around the world and it’s frequently updated throughout the day.  There’s plenty of fluffy stories too, but they help take the edge off the serious ones!  (They gotta fill out a slow news day somehow.)

I think it comes back, as in so many areas of life, to the principle that God gave each of us different vocations and avocations, different personalities and gifts.  We also have different seasons in our lives.

Jennifer, I agree with Simcha.

I have a large family, and I have done as you do. As my older kids got to be teens, I felt more of a need to follow current events, a little, to be able to discuss those events with my own children and have an impact on their opinions; that is when I started to make small efforts to keep up with the news. PBS News is the absolute best. There is an effort to present both/all sides of every issue, and the commnetators ask good and fair questions. If I catch that once every week or two, I have a clue about what’s going on in the world. And if I don’t, well, the world is still out there, and it;s running just fine without me.

You’ve got the right idea. When you follow politics you start to look at everything in the world thru political sunglasses and it becomed your baramoter of right and wrong. Not good.. You are right about the most important thing that should demand our attention.. pro-life. and with your 5 kids you are also leading us by your example.. nice going.

Jennifer, I love your honesty! As children of God, we are called to awareness about our brothers in Christ in our home, town, country and world. Your attentiveness to pro-life issues is paramount and well directed, especially come voting time. However, I believe we are called to be awake politically of what is happening in our country and others. So, as Rachel M. stated, we may pray or sacrifice for our fellow man wherever they may be. As homeschooling parents, we have a responsibility to show our children how important current events are. In addition to spiritual reading and a book of history, it seems natural to keep up on what is happening in God’s world, even though we do not have to be experts:)

I agree with Kephas and others who say that knowing political situations and reading and/or watching the heated, angry, and nonconstructive debates does nothing. Jennifer is wise to consult others whose opinions she respects. That’s why others are paid to do just that. Praying for humanity’s sinfulness is the simplest and most powerful course. I think most Christians have traded Christ for politics as their savior. Charity begins at home, then to the community in which you live. Limiting one’s ministry to those things is not selfish but the greatest ministry one can engage in. Jesus did not care about political events. He cared about people’s souls and sent people out to save them, not to bring down governments. Vote your conscience and leave the hyperbole to others. I find it all negative and draining and merely “bread and circuses.” Blessings to all of you.

I can really relate to this. I also feel like my mind is occupied with so many things that there’s little room for keeping up with the news. I guess I don’t have a natural interest in politics or world affairs, so that makes it hard to keep up with them. But at the same time, I feel like I have a duty to know what’s going on, so I make sure I read through a couple of news sites every day and I sometimes listen to the news on the radio. It’s more of a duty than a natural interest.

I also find that on a lot of issues, I don’t have a strong opinion. And it’s not necessarily because I’m uninformed. Sometimes the more I learn about an issue, the less strong my opinion becomes, because I find that I understand where both sides are coming from. It seems like most people are more opinionated than I am.

Another thing I’ve found is that some issues actually become more interesting to me than I originally thought they were once I find out more about them. For example, I’m interested in religion, and a lot of conflicts around the world have a religious element, so looking at it from that angle makes it more interesting to me.

I am very relieved to know there is someone out there like me! It seems like most people just soak up the news like a sponge and know all these details I don’t know about. I know the basics of most things that are going on, but I wonder how people end up knowing all these other details. How do they have the time to find out all this stuff with jobs, kids, etc.? Maybe they just pick it up because they have more of a natural interest. I guess I can’t control where my natural interests lie, but I can make an effort to keep up with the news anyway.

As citizens, we all have a responsibility to maintain a working knowledge of world events.  Jen, you have been blessed with a fine education and the freedom to form and share your viewpoints, as well as to access information and to vote.  To ignore those incredible blessings (not that I’m accusing you of that) would be churlish.  Think of how hard and dangerous it is for women in, say, Afghanistan to take basic steps to using their intelligence to influence their communities and their country.  It’s not necessary to make following current events or politics a full-time job, but leaving it to those who do ensures that they, and their worldviews, are the only ones who have any influence.

Being political doesn’t mean neglecting your duties and staring at CNN all day long.
What about this dialogue, for example?

FRIEND: What do you think about WTC collapse?
ME: Well, I use WD-40.
FRIEND: Umm, I mean al-Qaeda attacks.
ME: Oh, right. Al Kade attacked his neighbours again? He was drank, I suppose
FRIEND: Uhh, you know they attacked NYC, right?
ME: An attack on NYC? Wow, crazy.
FRIEND: I was going to ask you what you think NATO should do about Osama bin Laden , but I guess that would be a total waste of time.
ME: Unless this Nate O. guy is someone here at the party and that Ossama B. is one of the appetizers, yeah. It’d be a waste of time.

@Annie
“I think most Christians have traded Christ for politics as their savior.”


I so agree! There are some who focus on politics and voting more than they focus on prayer and Christ.


I’m like Jen, I stay away and don’t have an opinion and no I’m not too busy and preoccupied with other things.  I just realized how horrible, pessimist, and hopeless when I watch the news.  It attacks my knowledge that all things are possible through God and that God is in control.  Now I prayer for those who don’t know God and need his intervention to make things better.

You would probably enjoy listening to the Freakanomics program
“How Much Does the President of the U.S. Really Matter?” from 11/3/2010
http://www.freakonomics.com/2010/11/04/freakonomics-radio-how-much-does-the-president-really-matter/
And does voting matter?
http://www.freakonomics.com/2007/11/06/freak-tv-why-economists-dont-vote/?replytocom=192779
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/06/magazine/06freak.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1

At least you could refer people who are aghast at your stance to references like this to show that you actually came to this decision using sources news junkies approve of and weren’t simply overwhelmed. :-)

I agree with you, Jen, because I also have 5 young children and I’m learning this by trial and error right now.  I live in WI, right in the epicenter of lots of political headlines right now (I’m assuming you haven’t heard!).  Since February, it’s been hard to look away from the headlines.  During Lent, I’ve actually felt called (not my own idea at all, I promise) to fast from current events a bit. 

I find it helpful to remind myself that none of this political stuff matters, of course, in the big scheme of things. And by “big scheme of things,” I mean eternity. Our individual souls matter. All the other stuff…not so much.

If I ever start to freak out about WW3 and people in coffins, as one commenter mentioned as a good reason to follow the news, I find St. Paul’s words to the PThessalonians helpful:  “Be joyful always, pray continually, in all things give thanks…”

We don’t watch news networks - although if I had time I would watch Neil Cavuto’s business network.
We get most of our news from the internet from linking from The Drudge Report.  If it is worth reading, you can probably link from there.
We paid attention when our children were growing up and they pay attention now. 
Sorry - I think paying attention is part of living in a free society.
and we won’t be free for long if mothers of large families don’t pay attention.
Yahoo news is fluff.

And prayer is very powerful.

We should devote some time to know about what’s happening around us.General knowledge is a must in this generation and we should be well informed about breakthroughs in science and health fields,political scenarios,economical booms and much more for quality living and timely decisions.nice hilarious description from you.you have very nice wit.
http://www.youdeals.us

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About Jennifer Fulwiler

Jennifer Fulwiler
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Jennifer Fulwiler is a writer and speaker who converted to Catholicism after a life of atheism. She's a contributor to the books The Church and New Media and Atheist to Catholic: 11 Stories of Conversion, and is writing a book based on her personal blog, ConversionDiary.com. She and her husband live in Austin, TX with their five young children, and were featured in the nationally televised reality show Minor Revisions. You can follow her on Twitter at @conversiondiary.