It’s always nice to come across good news for a change, so I was excited to see this article on MSNBC about how more families are adopting HIV-positive children (don’t miss the great video at the bottom). Up until recently, I didn’t know that anyone could or did adopt children who were HIV positive. I assumed that it was too difficult, too risky, too expensive and maybe even illegal; and, sadly, I was also ignorant of the sheer number of HIV-positive children out there who need homes.
Then I met a local couple who, after a long and careful discernment, felt called to welcome two HIV-positive children into their home (they shared their story with me here). Ever since then I’ve followed the lives of my local friends and some bloggers I discovered who are raising HIV-positive children, and through their stories I’ve learned a lot about the subject. Seeing the lives of these families has dispelled a lot of the misconceptions I used to have on the subject, and I thought it might be helpful to write up a summary of some of the facts I found most surprising and interesting for those who might be as unfamiliar with the subject as I was:
1. HIV-positive orphans often have almost no chance of being adopted in their home countries
Even though there’s still plenty of misinformation about the subject here in the United States, our understanding of HIV/AIDS is much further along than that of many countries. Unfortunately, many of the areas of the world where there are the highest numbers of HIV-positive children needing homes are areas where people with the disease face the biggest stigmas.
2. Children with HIV who have access to good medical care usually have normal life expectancies
HIV is no longer considered a terminal illness, and is thought of by the medical community more as a chronic condition like Type I diabetes. According to the National Institute of Health, the life expectancy of HIV-positive people who have access to medical care is about the same as non-infected people.
3. There has never been a case of someone contracting HIV through normal household contact
You cannot get HIV from sharing food and drinks or using the same bed or toilet as an HIV-positive person. You also can’t contract it from changing diapers, hugging, kissing, or from bathing or swimming with someone who’s infected with the virus.
4. Modern drug therapies can render the HIV virus almost undetectable
My friend who is the mother of two HIV-positive children tells me, “On average, only one week after beginning HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy), 90% of all HIV in the body is gone; within one month, 99% is gone.” Related to the above, this also makes the disease much less likely to be transmitted, even in cases of blood contact.
5. It is usually possible to get health insurance for HIV positive kids
In most situations, it’s required by law that health insurance cover adopted children the same as biological children, regardless of pre-existing conditions. Also, employer-sponsored group plans usually cover HIV. In addition, most states offer assistance for the medical care of HIV-positive adults and children.
6. The laws have recently changed to make it easier to get HIV-positive children in the country
It used to be the case that adoptions of HIV-positive kids were complicated by the need to obtain a I-601 waiver, but a recent change in the laws took HIV off the list of the Centers for Disease Control’s List of Communicable Diseases of Public Health Significance. This means that parents adopting HIV-positive children can expect similar timeframes for the visa process as there would be with any other adoption.
7. You can see pictures of HIV-positive children currently in need of homes
One thing that made me really begin to pay attention to this issue was seeing pictures of kids with HIV who are currently in need of homes, like the ones here at Project Hopeful. To look into the eyes of a little human being, rather than simply reading about statistics and data, made me understand why an increasing number of people are opening their hearts and homes to this challenging but deeply rewarding call.
8. Regular people (not just saints) adopt HIV-positive kids
One thing I’ve noticed about all these families is how normal they are. As you can see from the list of testimonials here, many of the parents of infected children had never considered such a thing before, and had plenty of fears and hesitations. My friend once told me of her decision to go this route: “I’ve learned that while perfect faithfulness should be what we all aspire to, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other faithfulness is often the best I can give, and thankfully, it’s often enough. You do not need to be extraordinary; you just need to keep going. As I daily remind myself, I may not know where the path I walk is headed, I may be fearful along the way, but I know Who walks beside me. And all roads walked in faithfulness lead to Him.”
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Obviously, adopting a child with any kind of significant medical needs is a special call, and not something that every family is meant to do. But I’m glad to see the word getting out about the possibility of HIV-positive adoption, so that nobody overlooks this choice for expanding their family out of a simple lack of information.
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Thanks for sharing! Great article!
Thank you so much for sharing this! As an adoptive mom and advocate, I am always so encouraged when people spread the word about the adoption of children with medical/special needs. We have a HUGE community of families parenting HIV+ children here in the Denver metro area—so, so good. And yes, these families are normal, average people.
God is good!
The re:solve AIDS project is raising money to get a promising AIDS vaccine through human testing so that it can be produced and made available to everyone who needs it.
Thanks for helping to raise awareness on this important subject! Far too many children around the world need loving homes.
Excellent article! Thank you for spreading the word that HIV Adoption is possible!! :)
Thanks for posting this. As a nurse practitioner pursuing a doctoral degree to improve orphan outcomes, this type of information is crucial to opening the way for more HIV+ kids to be adopted. Educate, educate, educate!
We’ve been thinking hard about this type of adoption for a while. We started off with a plan to adopt older orphans through an international program, but then were approached about a child in the public care system in the province we live in, so our family’s first addition was that child. (I’m working hard to get local communities and churches to consider promoting the adoption of the thousands of kids waiting in foster care, but it’s like trying to flow of a river. Most families either don’t want or are scared away from adoption, which surprises me, considering that it’s an important element of being pro-life!)
Anyhow, adoption is certainly something that we’re going to consider again - adopted kids are absolutely the best - and we are eager to adopt where the need is greatest. However, from a practical perspective, how do you deal with the prospect of having an HIV+ child become an adult? How do you explain to your child that the disease that they acquired, through no fault of their own, carries with it a terrible responsibility? What if your child has a vocation to marriage? Do you just have to trust that your child’s spouse will be willing to become HIV+, given the Church’s position on “safe sex”? Does this mean that parents of HIV+ kids should take their kids’ status as a reason to encourage consideration of the religious life? As a parent, it seems that you have to think about these things because, no matter how cute and fabulous HIV+ kids are, children become adults. How do Catholic parents, who wish to live their own lives and raise their children to live lives in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church, handle this?
Elizabeth, you should check out this resource that Project HOPEFUL put together from a series of blog posts (http://projecthopeful.wordpress.com/2011/03/18/your-questions-answered-hiv-and-reproduction/) The resource is here: http://www.projecthopeful.org/images/stories/PDF_2/yourqspressquality.pdf It’s a great place to start and Project HOPEFUL are really great about answering these kinds of questions, so definitely contact them!! I hope these ideas help you.
I looked at the links provided by Jennifer K and unfortunately they are not really about teaching about living sexuality and marriage in a moral way when one has HIV, but these links recommend things that are completely immoral in our Catholic understanding, such as artificial insemination (for purposes of “sperm washing” that removes the virus) and in vitro fertilization. We also understand that masturbation is always gravely wrong and could not be used to obtain sperm. Marriage includes sexual intimacy and there cannot be use of barriers. The one thing at the first link is that with good treatment sometimes there is so little HIV in the body that the other spouse’s risk of infection is low. Maybe living sexuality in a moral way in such marriages entails much abstinence except, when the risk of infecting the other is at the lowest, for purposes of conceiving a child.
I would think that with HIV organizations and likely public health officials giving messages about condoms and in vitro fertilization, that would probably present serious challenges to a Catholic parent wanting to raise their child to be a practicing Catholic. But, that doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t try, it would be a great leap of faith and act of charity to adopt an HIV positive child.
I apologize, Elizabeth. I remember after posting that all those months ago realizing what exactly you were asking and that I hadn’t even remotely answered your question. I honestly do not have any clue how Catholics can reconcile these dilemmas. I should have kept out of the conversation and remembered the audience I was posting to since I myself am not a Catholic. I hope that a fellow Catholic has answers to your questions. ~Jennifer
If you are a Catholic who is going to raise a child with HIV to believe that having unprotected sex - even with their spouse - is (ever!) a good idea, then perhaps you shouldn’t adopt. Period. This isn’t one of those things you teach someone to do and just “hope” they don’t infect someone else. The Public Health Officials make the recommendations for a reason. It might be a good suggestion to follow them.
?“Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right.”
- Isaac Asimov
Adopt a child because it is in your heart to do so, and to give a child in home. Not because “god” told you to, it makes you a good Christian, or it makes you feel better about yourself. That makes it all about YOU. Its NOT all about YOU. It’s about, and should be about nothing but the child. Aside from the whole “calling” and “faith” talk, this is a wonderful article. I wish more and more people would love their child for who they are, and not simply need a “healthy white baby girl”, or the “perfect” child, because someone is so despirate to have a child for themself.
Dear SB, so is it your suggestion that the fear of someone possibly making a poor decision in life is a reason not to adopt? Seems like a very shallow reason to leave these children abandon with no hope for a future or a life.
Maybe none of us should be given a chance, in light of the fact that we “may” make a poor choice in life.
Wonderful article, thank you! Just a couple years ago I couldn’t have imagined we’d ever adopt an HIV+ child. Having grown up in the 80’s, my husband & I still had many of those same fears and misconceptions. Thankfully we met some wonderful families who brought us up to speed. Last summer we adopted our 5 yr old son from Ukraine -and what a blessing he is! I would happily parent 10 kids with HIV. It’s no different than raising any other child. As he grows we will educate him about the responsibility it carries, both for himself and his future wife. We don’t have all the answers at this point, but we’re learning and trusting in God. The one thing we know for certain is that our son is far better off than he ever would have been in his home country. And we’re better off now that he’s in our family, :)
Amen, JK. I couldn’t agree more!
As a Catholic raising children with HIV, I’ve had many conversations about HIV and barrier methods with deacons and priest and brothers. The general consensus is that condoms are the most gracious, loving things to provide to our HIV+ kids. I was encouraged to let go of the “rules” and raise my kids to be healthy. If our clergy can be so reasonable and kind, certainly us everyday Catholics can be too.
Thanks so much for sharing this information, Jennifer! It is really encouraging to families who have kids with HIV that more people will understand the facts about HIV and even if they don’t adopt children with HIV, they will know the facts and know that their families won’t be at risk from being friends with children with HIV. All families face challenges in hoping that as their children grow up, they will have internalized the values they have been taught. All families go through challenges during adolescence and young adulthood. Families with children/ adolescents with HIV have some additional challenges because the consequences of bad decisions are greater, that is true. But I always think, they would have gone through these challenges whether or not I was in their lives, and by being their mom, I have the opportunity to be with them, love them, and guide them through these life challenges. We all sin and need reconciliation and forgiveness. Thanks for bringing this important subject to your readers!
There are studies of couples in which one partner is HIV+ and one is HIV-. When the HIV+ is on medication that is reducing the amount of HIV in the body to practially 0, it is very unlikely that HIV will be transmitted in a faithful relationship. They were able to do genetic typing of the tiny number of transmissions, and those cases usually involved another genetic source for the HIV transmission (a different sexual partner.) There have been so many developments with HIV treatment in the last 10 years, and things are continuing to develop in very hopeful ways. I think the article does a great job of sharing how hopeful and doable it is to adopt children with HIV. Not for everyone, but more people than might have thought so can be blessed parents of children with HIV. Thanks so much, Jennifer for starting this great conversation!
Thank you for sharing the good news!! I’m the adoptive mom of one with HIV. It’s remarkable how easy HIV is to care for. (Far easier than my other daughter’s ADHD!) Our child has a normal life expectancy and fantastic quality of life!
this sound like it was loaded with bullshit. No way that HIV is killed in 99% in one week. There is no such thing. HIV IS TERMINAL DISEASE it kills slowly and cruelly.
Uncivilized*** you have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about…you really should do some research before you make ignorant statements like that.
I am not ignorant, but I did a lot of researches and its clear for me and for all smart people that u die with hiv later or sooner and you not as healthy as when you were no infected. There have been cases when HIV was contracted from kid to parents and adopting a kid with HIV is just a suicide. Not all want to play this dangerous game of live or diseases
@ Uncivilized.
You are as stupid as your comment!! ,,you die with hiv later or sooner,, So, you are saying that if you don’t have hiv you are not going to die?
At first, when I was thinking of this option, adopting child with hiv and the first thing I thougt of was that it would be so sad for him/her to grow up and not be able to live a normal love-life. WATH!!! This child is going to grow up ether way and have to learn to live with it. The child is already born and it’s not going to dissapeer if it woun’t get adopted. It’s mush better for the child to be raised in a good loving home were it gets the right meds and education than be pussed out of an ourphan when 18 and stand on there owne with no job or nothing.
The risk of geting hiv from your adoptive is so unlikely that I think it’s not somthing that will stop you from adopting hiv child. You are not going to have sex with the child!!! So it must be from a seriously blod contakt, and if it so much bleeding that you have to tuch it so much to save the child, you would not think of the chance of geting the virus. Doctors do not back of when there hiv patients are bleeding to death on there table!!
Sory for my english.
Hi,
I would like to bring to the attention of the writers here that, adoption is denied to many people, and that includes me, eventhough my wife and I are only 30 years old. We are married for four years. We do not have children, and have tried many fertility treatments. All fertility treatments have failed, and doctors suggested IVF as the last option. Our conscience could not accept the procedure that puts embryos into freezer. So we decided to say “No” to IVF.
Until then, we hadn’t thought of adoption. But then we started thinking about adopting a child. I was praying and preparing myself for taking this big decision. But the biggest shock came to me when I realized we cannot adopt a child. I’m an immigrant in United States, and if I want to adopt a child from my native country, there are many conditions due to Hague Convention, that makes it almost impossible to adopt a child. It was totally shattering for us. I feel I’m denied a fundamental right. I’m not a US citizen, and not asking any citizenship rights. But shouldn’t right to family be a universal human right ? Why should immigrants be denied the right to have family ? I do not know what to do now.
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