I walked into the toy store with three of my little girls in tow, there to pick out a birthday gift for an upcoming party. We arrived at the section for children their ages, and I saw a display of lovely educational toys. “Look, girls!” I exclaimed, “Hand-crafted wooden puzzles! A children’s binocular set—it even comes with a birdwatching guide!” They admired the items, making polite comments as they peered into the packaging.

And then someone spotted it. “PRINCESSES!” my four-year-old exclaimed, and they stampeded toward a shelf covered in pink and glitter, almost knocking over the educational toys display in the process. They spent the next half hour oohing and ahhing over frilly dresses...READ MORE

Now that our fifth baby is seven months old, my husband and I are often asked: “So…are you done now?” I usually share my thoughts on how we approach the question of future children, which everyone understands is a long way of saying “No.” This is inevitably brings the conversation to an awkward end, my acquaintance mumbling something about not knowing how we do it and changing the subject to the weather.

But there is often an unspoken question that lingers in the air, one that I only hear articulated by people who are drunk or commenting anonymously on the internet, but that many others wonder silently:

Aren’t you worried about overpopulation?

It’s a fair question. Certainly if I’m...READ MORE

The alarm clock strikes six, and an explosion of sound shatters the stillness of the darkened house. Once again the kids have been playing with the radio dials, and instead of waking to quiet contemporary jazz, I am bombarded at full volume by the voice of the announcer at the local Tejano station, who is shouting in Spanish over an energetic mariachi band. Despite the DJ’s exhortations, my morning is not muy bueno.

The weight of a thousand elephants presses me into the bed. My brain feels like it may melt from exhaustion. I make a list of what possessions I would trade for a couple more hours of slumber, and run out of ideas after I get to my refrigerator and my car. Every molecule of my...READ MORE

A friend who’s a mom of multiple young children recently emailed me about her New Year’s resolutions. She told me about an exciting nutrition and fitness plan she’d undertaken starting January 1, and then talked about some of the obstacles she’s facing, in particular how to find the time for this project. I dashed out a knee-jerk reply: “You may want to hold off on this until the kids are older,” I counseled her. “It’s going to be tough to do this in this phase of life!”

Then I looked at what I’d written, and deleted it.

My response prompted me to think back on all the times I’d made a “you can’t do that because you have young kids” comment to other women, and all the times it’s been...READ MORE