A recurring theme I have encountered in my speaking, writing, and research in Catholic spiritual development is the idea that if something “works” or is “helpful” it is therefore true and good. Often enough, an individual – or even a parish – will dabble in non-Christian Eastern religious prayer methods coupled with the common conversation-ending apologetic blurt: “...it helps me, so how can it be bad?”
Whether it be from the non-Christian East, the New Age movement, or other source, the undergirding question appears to be what is the utility of prayer? The question carries a lot of weight, especially if we begin to consider the actual effect of prayer within the reality of the Providence of God; however, for our purposes and to adequately address the claim “if it helps me, it is good and therefore true,” we will consider the question: what is the effect or utility of prayer in reference to the individual who prays?
What is prayer?
It is no surprise that in finding ourselves in need of clarity and subtle distinctions we turn to the Angelic Doctor, St. Thomas Aquinas. In his question on prayer (ST II.II.83), he asks, “Whether it is becoming to pray?” In response, he quotes the Gospel of Luke chapter 18:1: “they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” Man should pray, as St. Thomas states, because “we need to pray to God, not in order to make known to Him our needs or desires, but that we ourselves may be reminded of the necessity of having recourse to God’s help in these matters.” The first defining characteristic of proper Catholic prayer is that it fosters a relationship with God; it habituates the individual to understanding, loving, and depending upon Him. Sublime mystic Doctor of the Church St. Teresa of Avila provides a very personal and apropos summary: “Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.”
Any supposed form of prayer that excludes God or seeks to draw the heart to some vague idea of cosmic connectedness, renders it inept by removing the true relational foundation of intimacy between persons. If we consider popular forms of meditation that advocate inward reflection or a silencing of all thought, it is apparent that these forms lack a key characteristic of Catholic prayer: the intimacy of a true and tangible friendship. While certain non-religious methods can be a helpful precursor to proper prayer – a focusing of the mind or relaxing the body before meditation– they can never be the end or goal of legitimate Catholic spirituality. The goal is not only to set the table properly, but then we must engage in the feast in order to find the nourishment we seek and to properly orient our souls God. Catholic prayer is a real act of friendship, which is, at its essence, an actual encounter with another person.
Who is the judge of proper prayer?
St. Thomas teaches that “our motive in praying is, not that we may change the Divine disposition, but that, by our prayers, we may obtain what God has appointed.” Moreover, he explains, “that we may acquire confidence in having recourse to God, and that we may recognize in Him the Author of our goods.” In the relationship of prayer, the movement from the individual to God is one of spiritual maturation and becoming open to the reception of the goods God has appointed. It is a theocentric relationship, as the individual abandons himself to God and adheres to God’s will.
Manners of so-called prayer that supplant God with either an internal energy, a goal of nothingness, or a general sensible tranquility are anthropocentric; when an individual states “this prayer method or teaching helps me, therefore it is good,” it is the individual, not God, that stands as the judge of whether the effect is good or not and the basis of this judgment is often very superficial (e.g. this super-sized burrito with extra sour cream tastes really good, therefore it is good for me).
There is a principle in Catholic devotion that God has to not only save his children from external dangers, but must save his children from their greatest danger: themselves. St. Teresa echoes this truth, “praised be the Lord, who has redeemed me from myself.” Answering the call of holiness, of dying to ourselves and living in Christ, requires us to trust the spiritual judgment of Holy Mother Church.
To be clear, it is not that all meditation or calming techniques are somehow illicit; rather, they become illegitimate and insufficient when they supplant proper Catholic prayer. Religious meditations that are imported from outside the Sacred Tradition yield severe shortcomings in cultivating a true friendship between God and man; or worse, they import subtle malformations in the Catholic understanding of the One True God, which is the only infallible and trustworthy understanding. Those who desire a pure friendship with the authentic God must trust the spiritual judgment of His Church and hold that nothing need augment her understanding of God.
What is a practical example of this problem?
The theme “if it helps me, it is good,” assumes the individual is the proper judge of what his soul needs and this fault is illuminated well by the rosary and indulgences. Many Catholics neglect the rosary in their prayer life because they deem it boring or they don’t find it worthwhile. Holy Mother Church has affirmed that praying the rosary as a family or in a church, grants the individual(s) a plenary indulgence; the indulgence is a remission from the totality of temporal punishment due to sin – of course this is only sin up until the act and regarding sin which has already been forgiven.
What is demonstrated in this case is that the goods God has appointed us – which includes those laid out by his Church according to the power of the keys given to St. Peter –outweigh those subjective goods regarding prayer to which we self-appoint. Without question, finding a Catholic devotion that gives you peace and joy is suggested, but the ultimate guiding light of what is good for the Catholic soul in prayer and devotion is the heart of Sacred Tradition of the Church – the accurate reflection of the heart of God. If an individual simply seeks a prayer life that “works for them,” they are liable to diminish their relationship with God; which would be tragic regardless of any pleasant feels ushered in by the self-chosen method of prayer.
In discussing the necessity of Catholic prayer, the Catechism (CCC #2744) turns to the unmitigated words of St Alphonsus Liguori: “Those who pray are certainly saved; those who do not pray are certainly damned.” These weighty words serve not only to compel us to pray to God, but to also pray according to God’s self-revelation as taught and guarded by the Church.
May we all find an authentic friendship with God
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There was a time Dan when I prayed all 15 decades of the Rosary every day and still made time for Stations of the Cross and Daily Mass.
Why did I stop? Because prayer didn’t seem to get me anywhere, ZIP, Nada, not one step closer to where I wanted to be, no result, Jesus kept on slamming the door in my face and leaving me out in the cold and generally didn’t give a crap about me.
I get the feeling that all of the Hours of the Little Office, All of those Masses didn’t result in my prayer being granted (before you ask it was NOT for a fleet of Ferrari’s, more Mansions than I could handle and my very own personnel Speedboat). And please don’t go all self-reightous on me and talk about “God’s Will”, with all due respect it sounds very sanctimonious coming from someone such as yourself.
If I may be so bold, 24601, it sounds to me as though all that you had been doing had perhaps become mechanical, that maybe you were just going through the motions and not really trying to forge a relationship with God. All the Masses, rosaries, other devotions, etc., can mean “zip, nada”, if your heart is not really in it, or if you lose sight of the goal, which is getting closer to God and deepening that relationship.
Did you prayerfully read scripture? What about reading the saints? They had incredible insight into spirituality and had achieved close union with God- they knew from experience of what they wrote. Theresa of Avila’s Interior Castle is an excellent resource on advancing in holiness-which is growing in love.
Also, reciting written prayers is wonderful, I know I need those prayers because I do not always know how to pray as I ought, however, we also need to just “talk to God” in our own words, and also, at times, to just stop speaking, ie praying vocal prayers, and just be still and silent and wait upon the Lord.
P.S. I forgot to mention that sometimes we “do” too much, and that even religious and spiritual exercises can get in the way of the work that God wants to do in us. We really do need to “let go and let God” do as He Wills with us. That does not mean that we stop going to Mass and praying, just that we should not get so caught up in the methods and formats of it all, and relax.
I am sorry. It seems like you have had a lot of faith and proably still do. Please do not quit, God requires TRUST along with faith. Learn to trust God and he will be there for you.
Dear 24601, Where DID you want your prayer to take you? What is the purpose of your comment? Do you truly seek an answer… maybe some light to help you find TRUTH (Jesus), or is your intent only to say ugly things about the author of this article and discredit what he says with your own subjective experiences?
Dear one, who posted using “24601,”
You are so much more than a number! You have demonstrated such dedication in your journey to know our Lord in giving such time and energy to prayer. Don’t give into despair! It sounds like you are so very hurt and responding in anger. Such anger “kills” relationships. Love is a commitment of the will, not a feeling. It is so painful to let yourself feel all the hurts our family, friends, the world inflict upon us knowingly or unknowingly. In your contemplation of the mysteries of the Holy Rosary, recall how Jesus responded to all the pain and suffering he endured for love of us. It is painful to yield our will when God says “no,” or has us wait longer than we want to wait. Please listen to joanp62— prayerfully read Holy Scripture, and read about the Saints. Job patiently suffered all manner of loss and pain. Mother Teresa waited 50 years.
Praying that your heart is softened with how deeply Jesus loves you and desires your friendship and happiness in Him.
I’m sorry. If it makes you feel less discourages, it is my understanding that Mother Teresa went through just such a time herself—is any one of us more holy than her, that we should consider ourselves above trials of faith?
I’ll try not to “go all self-righteous” on you, but do remember that God is not a vending machine, no matter how noble or ignoble is the thing being requested. Prayer, likewise, is not a business transaction where we give God X and God gives us Y. People keep reminding me, and I have to keep reminding myself, that we have no idea what God has done when we were not looking. For now, we don’t get to see what would or would not have happened had we done differently, and the world is just too big (or we, too absorbed in our own affairs) for us to see the entire impact all the time. Where we want to be and where we are meant to be are not always the same. Perhaps we would even be worse off; one just doesn’t know. Your eternal status isn’t something you can pull up a record of like a bank statement either, but we are assured that what we do—what you have done—does have an impact, if not here, then hereafter.
I hope you’ll take that as a pep talk and not a lecture.
When I pray, I certainly don’t ‘look’ for any type of evolutionary development in my spiritual life. Life itself is what it is, and I am more concerned (and quite happy) establishing a relationship with God than worrying about ‘getting’ somewhere. Just being present with God is satisfying.It’s like being in the same room with a good friend. Those who do not experience this, I think, are missing the mark.
If the reason we spend time in prayer is try to get God to do our will, then we are wasting our time, no matter how much we invest in it. When prayer is a delight and is performed with love and gratitude, God always comes to us. It is his gift to begin with that brings us to prayer. Our hearts must be open and we have to be in love with the one we are talking to, whether it be the rosary or the Liturgy of the Hours or mental prayer or just chatting to Jesus in adoration. When one is truly in love with the Lord, his focus is not on what God can do for him, but what he can do for God.
I see so many retreat centers and religious orders who offer everything BUT Catholic approved prayer and I wonder how they went so wrong to cave into bringing new age crap into their houses and how they can offer these things to the public with no guilt over leading people into things that are not of God. Who is in charge of these orders? Too many Catholics who do not know their own faith are being led astray by those you would think would know better.
Deb - well said… Still, the Church does acknowledge valid motivations of a more initial nature such as fear of losing heaven or gaining hell (as reflected in traditional acts of contrition). Your emphasis here is correct in that the highest form of prayer is the same as the highest form of human expression - total self-giving out of love for another. At this level, there is no concern for the response. This development of love in many ways mirrors human development. A baby cries out to its mother out of pure self-centered need. This is no judgment on the baby - it’s a baby after all. When a child doesn’t get what it wants, it complains as if it has been wronged… As a child grows and develops they begin to learn that it is not all about their needs but that reciprocation and eventually altruistic self-giving is the normal and appropriate development of a soul that sees the profound good that God has already bestowed on us in the giving of his only Son on our behalf. If he did nothing else for mankind for all eternity, “it would have been enough…”
I think I have been blessed with the Lord drawing me to prayer. I pray for many people and many things and sometimes in some areas I do wonder, “Is there a point?” Then, I think of St. Monica. No matter what the results we can see, grace is being poured out. We may never see the results of our prayer in some areas and in others, we don’t recognize the results and sometimes, our prayer does match the Lord’s plan and we see the result of our prayer. No prayer time is ever wasted unless it isn’t of God to begin with.
Dear 24601, The prayer is always answered, sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait. I pray that we all have patience to not test God, when we have doubt about him hearing our prayer. We have to trust and have faith that He knows what is best for us all.
Dan, why do you consult Aquinas when the great Catholic mystics, Theresa of Avila and John of the Cross came after him? The contemporary theologians, William Johnston and Thomas Keating, are probably the best living authors on contemplative prayer and its relation to other religious traditions. I am disappointed in your reply; it isn’t worthy of you. It doesn’t really address the question of why many contemplative aids cross religious boundaries and are used by Christian, Buddhist, Islamic and Jewish contemplatives, among others, It is perfectly fine, as Blessed John Paul II knew.
Prayer isn’t a fee-for-services arrangement whereby you toss God a few prayers in exchange for getting where you want to go. I used to look at it in that light - when I was about fifteen. Prayer is a duty we owe to God. That’s an unfashionable word for a very real thing. We’re not supposed to be looking for a good return on our investment, we’re supposed to be worshipping God and trusting Him. How prayer makes you feel is just as irrelevant as whether you get what you asked for. Long story short: it isn’t all about you, it’s all about God.
Thank you for that sanctimonious, self-righteous comment Elenor, that has really made my day, I’ll remind you of it should God ever repeatedly treat you to the business end of a two by four in the future.
Sorry Fr. Coogan, but Thomas Keating’s centering prayer is not approved by the Catholic Church, the Pope and is certainly not comparable to the teachings of St. Theresa or St. John of the Cross. Keating and Johnston have a problem in that they try to merge other religions into Catholicism and it is just more error by those who fall into new age practices. Blessed John Paul II did not find it fine and you demean him and yourself by trying to pretend he did. The problem with many contempoary theologians and clergy, is that they fall pray to things that are outside the church, just like many others who are not capable of being obedient to HER and then they lead others down the wrong road. Our church is bleeding from the damage done by contemporary theologians, bishops, priests and religious. St. Theresa of Avila would be a model to follow, not Keating. St. Theresa did God’s work, not her own. I am dissapointed in you, as a priest, to not know this.
Dear 24601, you sound very hurt, angry and bitter. God’s Will always will be done over our own, even if what we want seems to be good, just and right and appears to be in keeping with God’s will. I have had some bad things happen to me and the years 2006 through 2010 were pretty rough, however, a lot worse things have happened to other people that haven’t (yet) happened to me and yet these people still have shown such strong faith in God. And, if you would read what the saint’s have to say, it seems as though the ones closest to God have it the hardest of all. Being a Christian is not supposed to be easy, and God is not there to be our own personal “genie”. His ultimate will is for us and our loved ones to be with Him for all eternity after this brief life is over.
Dear Joan
Yes I am hurt and there are days when I want to turn into a monster, because people euthanize monsters and if that were to happen then the pain would end. It doesn’t help matters that a Priest I know has been ill for 5 months and therefore unable to talk to me, I say this because he is essentially my surrogate Father and is the ONLY person whom I can completely trust to be in my corner.
Hello again 24601-although you are not a mere number- Please don’t stop praying-talking to God. Even if you don’t feel like praying, then tell God that, and then just try to spend some quiet time with him. Is there Adoration of the Eucharist at any churches near you? That would be a great
place to sit quietly with the Lord because, even though He is present everywhere, he is most present-body, blood, soul and divinity, in such a special way, in the Eucharist. And lastly, as much as we want someone in our corner, and need someone to affirm and commiserate with us, that may not always be what we need at the moment. Ask God, and keep asking Him, to give you wisdom and better understanding of your circumstances. What I do quite often, when I feel that everything and everyone is wrong and nothing is going right for me, I ask God to help me change my attitude, opinions or perceptions if they are incorrect or not in line with the Truth, and I believe in time, He has truly helped me with those things.
Dan Burke,we certainly need to consider what Bl. John Paul was doing when he invited leaders of all the major religions to pray for peace, each in his or her own manner, in Assisi. Surely he was not simply tolerating the empty gestures of people whose religious beliefs he despised, but had the conviction that this unity in diversity of prayer was pleasing to God. To look for the seeds of the Gospel in other cultures is not New Age, but is the recommendation of Ad Gentes II, 18. For brevity one mentions Fr. Keating and Fr. Johnston in the same breath, but their work is very different. Fr. Keating is not a systematic theologian and his work needs to be reflected upon, but the “Church” certainly does not reject his work outright. These two are living theologians working in the area you are writing about. But if you don’t like their work, there is also the near-contemporary Hans Urs von Balthazar, who wrote about the similarities and differences between Buddhism and Christianity. He lived in our pluralistic society, which Aquinas did not.
Dear 24601, I’m with you. My whole life it seems like one thing after another and there are times I thought “if I wasn’t here, it would be so much better for everyone else.” I have been very angry the past few weeks and felt that actions taken towards me were pushing me away from the Church. And, where did I turn to for answers, the Church! You are blessed to have a priest that is like a surrogant father to you. I do not have that in my life right now and I actually do not connect with my parish priest. But, this weekend, I went to confession (please no one condemn me for saying this but I hate going to confession) with the my parish priest and expressed my feelings and sins. My penance is to take what I learned from the hurt and try to help others going through the same thing. He told me it may not be right now because I am so negative and beaten up but in the future. My days are still bad but my heart is a little lighter. Can you try to go to another priest? Is there someone else you can go to? As you can see by the posts here, people don’t even know you but they are concerned for you. Though prayer may not be of an immediate help to you right now, I pray that the other posters keep you in their prayers as that is what it seems you may need right now.
And, please do not get upset with Dan Burke or Elinor. Tone is very hard to here in writing. There are also all different levels of prayer and some people are more advanced than others so judgement should not by any of us as there is only One the will judge us in the end.
Thank you Elinor Dashwood! Your clarity is breathtaking. If God really is our heavenly Father as Jesus taught us, then it is simply inexcusable that we should refuse to talk to Him, no matter how we ‘feel’ about it.
Paradoxically, it is only through His grace that we can transcend our selfish natures and pray without focusing on ourselves. And so ‘to everyone who has, more will be given, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.’ (Luke 19:26) Dear Lord, please teach us to pray!
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