A Parenting Moment I'll Remember Forever

Saturday, March 12, 2011 11:28 AM Comments (13)

There are moments as a parent you know that for some reason will be with you forever. No matter how old and forgetful you get those moments will still exist clearly to be relived again and again.

I remember my two year old telling me to make the car go faster because the moon was chasing us and when we pulled into a parking lot the moon went out of sight behind the strip mall. She said, “I think we lost ‘em.”

I remember my daughter’s first goal. The poor girl was simply following the herd when someone on the other team kicked the ball and it bounced off her head into the goal. I remember her standing there while her friends cheered, unsure if she should cheer or cry. She cheered all the...READ MORE

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Children Cost Too Darn Much!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011 3:16 AM Comments (29)

Every year or so you see some version of this story.  It costs one gazillion dollars to raise a child.  The implication, it’s just not worth it.  Example.

New research suggests that people may exaggerate the perks of being parents to rationalize the financial costs of raising children.

Two studies, featured in the journal Psychological Science, measured more than 140 parents’ feelings after being presented with information regarding the hefty bill of raising a child. In the Northeast, raising one child to the age of 18 costs nearly $193,000, according to the research.

Wow.  $193,000 buckaroos?  How do I put this politely?  Horse hockey!

All you moms and dads out there of five or more...READ MORE

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Staying God's Hand

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:00 AM Comments (17)

Blogging can be easy. You read a hundred stories of tragedies, public shortcomings and sins and you pick the most outrageous to write on. But it can really wear you down after a while. I gets so I just want to read some good news sometimes. Sadly, those stories always seem a little more difficult to find. I’m kinda’ like Lot searching for the one righteous man. But Lot didn’t have a blog.

So yesterday, I grabbed my three year old in the afternoon and we walked hand in hand to our neighborhood 7-11 just to give my poor bloggin’ head a break. She couldn’t decide between an Icee and a candy bar. The decision was much too much for her. It was like Sophie’s Choice for three year olds. While I...READ MORE

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The Armchair Pro-Life

Sunday, March 06, 2011 9:09 PM Comments (121)

It should not surprise that I hold in low esteem a particular breed of man who, while claiming the name Catholic, supports openly and actively that wretched party of death. They fret over a folly, which they basely baptize as “social justice”, which inexplicably counsels the right of broadband internet access and condoms for the poor, while innocent life is extinguished by the millions at the cruel hands of the federally subsidized. In so doing, they weave for themselves a seamless garment as a shroud, befitting the whitewashed tombs they gaily inhabit.

Still, another breed of man occupies a rung on my ladder of loathing barely an amoeba’s head above the aforementioned—the armchair...READ MORE

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12 Reasons It's Harder to be a Dad than a Mom

Saturday, March 05, 2011 2:37 AM Comments (54)

There are thousands and thousands of Mommy blogs out there detailing the trials and difficulties of being a Mom. There aren’t a whole lot of Daddy sites out there. Or maybe there are, it’s just called ESPN. But regardless, I’m here to explain to you the many reasons it might just be harder to be a Dad than it is being a Mom. Here’s my top 12:

1) When we gain weight we can’t blame the pregnancies.

2) When one of your daughters gets in a fight at school and your other daughter yells, “Sweep the leg Johnny” everyone blames you.

3) Our fingers aren’t made for little buttons. They’re just not. If buttons needed hammering we’d be the ones to call. Finessing buttons? Not so much.

4) Dads can’t...READ MORE

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Oh my Gosh I Am Hardly Sorry for Having Upended Thee

Thursday, March 03, 2011 4:56 AM Comments (52)

My wife is the Charlie Brown of banana pickers. She always picks the sorriest looking bananas. I don’t know if she feels sorry for them or there’s something she just doesn’t understand about bananas but she always picks the craziest looking bananas.

I offered my five year old son a banana this morning when he came downstairs to get ready for school. It was the last one. And there was a reason it was the last one. It looked like every other banana’s great grandfather. I’d tried giving it to the three year old a few minutes earlier and she backed away all wide eyed with her hands up to fend me off like I was brandishing a weapon. I didn’t want the banana to go to waste so when my five year...READ MORE

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A Fat Man's Guide To Holiness

Tuesday, March 01, 2011 11:09 PM Comments (29)

I have a confession, but don’t judge me. I’m a fatty.

That’s right.  I am a a big ol’ fatty fatty of the clan Boombalatty.

But I do not write here today in some narcissistic pursuit of a cathartic revelation in which I proudly declare that “I my curves” or “curve” in my case since my shape is rapidly approaching the spherical.

No, I am not here to tell you that I look good fat. I don’t. I am here to tell you that I am good fat.

What say you, Patrick?  Everyone knows that the truly holy sport the gaunt look.  Kinda like David Bowie in the 70’s, but without all the weird androgynous-ness.  Saints are skinny.  Fat people are lazy, and lazy does not equate with holiness, you say!

Ah,...READ MORE

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Liturgical Vigilantes

Sunday, February 27, 2011 6:04 PM Comments (69)

When one thinks of notorious vigilantes, several names and personality types come to mind. Perhaps Charles Bronson or Dirty Harry, or maybe even the Dark Knight, Batman. But personally, I have yet to run into tragic costumed figure or a rogue cop who has just had enough.

But I have met a person who has had enough and can’t take it anymore, a person who has seen too much lawbreaking simply ignored by the competent authorities, a person who has finally decided to do something about it—to become a vigilante—Mrs. McGillicuddy.  She sits in the third pew on the left.

As general rule, vigilantes are not born, they are made. Their steely resolve to right the wrong, forged in the fires of...READ MORE

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.

About Pat Archbold

Pat Archbold
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Patrick Archbold is co-founder of Creative Minority Report, a Catholic website that puts a refreshing spin on the intersection of religion, culture, and politics. When not writing, Patrick is director of information technology at a large international logistics company. Patrick, his wife Terri, and their five children reside in Long Island, N.Y.