Don't Say "God Bless You" Or Else

09/30/2011 Comments (26)

Aaaachhhoooooo.

God bless you.

Somebody sneezes, you say “God bless you.”  It is a nice thing to do.  Common courtesy.  But not in one classroom.  If somebody says “God bless you,” they had points deducted by the teacher.

It will likely not surprise that this school is located in the Bay Area.  Must be some leftover LSD in the water or something.

Teacher Steve Cuckovich deducted points from children’s grades for using the phrase.

“The blessing doesn’t make any sense anymore,” Cuckovich told the Fox affiliate in Sacramento. “When you sneezed in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body. So they were saying, ‘God bless you,’ for getting rid of evil...READ MORE

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The Myth of the Personally Pro-Life Catholic

09/28/2011 Comments (40)

I was wondering something tonight in light of the news that Congress will be investigating Planned Parenthood. Are there really Catholics who are personally pro-life and publicly pro-choice? Is that an honest opinion? The answer, if you can call it that, came to me in the form of a question. Have I ever seen or heard of personally pro-life Catholics praying in front of abortion clinics?

Nope.

Have I seen personally pro-life Catholics pushing to hold Planned Parenthood or other abortionists to higher safety standards?

Nope.

But the truth is that to be pro-anything it can not be a passive stance. It must be active or it can’t be described as “pro,” can it?

In the political sphere,...READ MORE

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Did Bishops Diss The Pope?

09/25/2011 Comments (73)

One thing you never want to do is leave the Pope hanging.

Check out this video of the Pope offering his hand for a shake to Bishops on a greeting line.  Bishop after Bishop let the Pope pass by without shaking his hand.  One or two may have missed it, but this seems a little fishy to me.

ht Mark.

I don’t like to read into things, but was this some sort of silent protest over working hours or something?  I haven’t seen a reception this icy since I told my wife I would be playing golf with my buddies all weekend.

So what is up with this?  Is this on purpose or is every Bishop here blind?

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Raising "Right and Wrong" Kids in a "Whatever" World.

09/22/2011 Comments (42)

A sociologist from the University of Notre Dame published a study gauging the moral thinking of 18-23 year olds. The results are depressing and for this father of five, they’re scary.

David Brooks of the New York Times summarized the study, saying that moral thinking to a large extent was considered a relative matter or not considered at all, even regarding issues such as cheating on a partner or drunken driving. Brooks writes that “when asked to describe a moral dilemma they had faced, two-thirds of the young people either couldn’t answer the question or described problems that are not moral at all.”

Two-thirds?! That’s a cultural disaster.

Disturbingly, many said that morality is a...READ MORE

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My Wife Thinks I'm Ugly

09/20/2011 Comments (15)

My wife told me the other day that I am handsome, and by this, coupled with unassailable logic of a manly type, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that she thinks me ugly.

When I got married, I was chubby. Not particularly fat, not particularly skinny. Chubby. Since she married me, I can only assume that my wife liked me chubby, and for this assumption I have accumulated, through years of marriage, substantial anecdotal evidence. Suffice it to say that it is well established that my wife liked (likes) chubby Pat.

There is a picture in my bedroom of that glorious and heaven-sent day when this beautiful young woman permanently and inextricably tied her fate to my own in the presence...READ MORE

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How I Became a Dad

09/18/2011 Comments (26)

Men are miserable when their wives are pregnant because, let’s face it, we don’t have anything to do. Present for the conception, we’re then faced with nine months of absolutely no specific responsibility. We have nothing else to do but wait for the baby to be born. And guys stink at having nothing to do. Fortunately, hormones can make women very demanding during pregnancy so there’s never a shortage of things to do. Whether it’s fulfilling some strange desire for Tacos or painting the baby’s room yellow because she didn’t like the shade of teal you painted it last week, there are jobs to do. There are so many layers of paint in the baby’s room that I can now touch both walls with my hands...READ MORE

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Kill All The Babies Before It Is Too Late

09/15/2011 Comments (45)

Close it up folks.  Our culture is over. There is nothing left to save.

A Palm Beach jury has awarded a couple $4.5 million dollars because medical professionals did not alert them soon enough that they needed a hitman in surgical scrubs to kill their child before it was too late.

Ana Mejia and Rodolfo Santana would have much preferred to kill their son had they known in advance that he was not perfect. For this inconvenience, a jury of six (who clearly themselves should not have been allowed to be born either for obvious mental deficiency) awarded Ana and Rodolfo Mengele gobs of dough.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Spare the child, face the rod.

Juror Rebecca Long said the jury...READ MORE

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I'm a Widdle Drunk

09/13/2011 Comments (33)

I’m not anti-social. Really. I live with six people, so how could I possibly be classified as anti-social? It’s just that I don’t particularly like having people not named Archbold over the house. It’s mostly that I know what takes place before non-Archbold people arrive. My wife makes us all clean the house. Like crazy.

I bring this up because we were getting the house ready for a barbecue/party this past weekend. I honestly don’t even know why we were having people over but we were. My wife is crazy. I can tell you this because I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read me all that often. To prepare for the party, my wife thinks she must make the house look like nobody lives in the house or has...READ MORE

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About Matthew Archbold

Matthew Archbold
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Matt Archbold graduated from Saint Joseph's University in 1995. He is a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children. He writes for the Creative Minority Report.

About Pat Archbold

Pat Archbold
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Patrick Archbold is co-founder of Creative Minority Report, a Catholic website that puts a refreshing spin on the intersection of religion, culture, and politics. When not writing, Patrick is director of information technology at a large international logistics company. Patrick, his wife Terri, and their five children reside in Long Island, N.Y.